We all need to be heard for a little while.

smcshane

Hello,

Long time reader here who didn't think she would have something useful to say but HBS all this talk about you and the OH has resonated with me, I have been with my OH for 13.5 yrs and the longest out of all our friends who are now married with children ect.

We have a different life though because that's what we wanted, no children and doing the things we wanted but that was an acceptance of who we are and we no longer worry what are friends and family and even society think we should be conforming to!

What struck me was your need to celebrate being together, we have a togetherness anniversary every year and get loved ones involved if we feel like it any particularly year. It is on the day we met and also means we have a special day to celebrate being together. I'm sure a number of actual anniversaries for married people end up being the same as any other day.

I don't want all the phaff of a wedding, it always seems like a day for everyone else as recent weddings I've been too there is so much expectations, I just don't want it.

I must thank you all as well, particularly you WAS have given me so much insight into MH issues and how did I find you? Doing a google search trying to find out about GAD and Panic Attacks after my OH was diagnosed in Oct. He's now improving and I've learnt what I need to do to be supportive but not let it take over our lives. I've been able to see it from another perspective which has helped loads so Thankyou, Thankyou, Thankyou and maybe now I will stick around.

Sx

Pyxis

http://www.nidirect.gov.uk/marriage-fees-and-general-information
According to this, (posted previously), on a weekday in office hours it's £36 plus £8 for the certificate. £44! Not a lot for peace of mind!
But yes, a little ceremony with close friends and/or family would be nice. If it's going out for a meal, you could always ask people to pay for themselves?
Don't Larp do their own "weddings"? That might appeal to OH!

tea_lover wrote: »

Just seen this http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/money-saving-tips/10162608/Why-getting-married-leaves-you-better-off.html

I do urge you to read this. The Inheritance Tax implications are horrendous, especially if he owns half the house. And of course, it works the other way for him, too!
Plus yes, again, any pension implications.

dubs57 wrote: »

Just to say I continue to read and enjoy the support and encouragement of everybody on here to each other. There is also a lot of humour from time to time and interesting and unexpected insights!!

That's a lovely thing to say, dubs!


Edit.. And thanks to smcshane too! It never ceases to amaze me how far-reaching this thread can be! See WaS?

heartbreak_star

smcshane - definitely stick around! As you can see we're a great bunch on here...I am definitely feeling less fragile than I did this morning

Pyxis - Larp weddings are cute in theory but incredibly odd and slightly cringey in practise! Though the wedding I mentioned at the Scout camp shared a lot of things with the hobby (camping, barbecues, games, oh and the pub ) nobody was in their "kit". It was weird seeing the guests in suits and things instead of armour and mud

HBS x

Waves_and_Smiles

Hello dubs and smcshane! What lovely things to say! I am grinning from ear to ear again that the thread is helping people, it makes my day everytime. Please do stick around, no obligation to post at all, we love our lurkers just as much!

*Coughs* There might be an announcement on my March activity shortly. Again, I overwhelmed by people's kindness and willingness to accommodate me, people are lovely.

Hint-it involves feathers and fur!

Birdie85

Are you doing a burlesque class WaS?!

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahahahahaha! how did you guess Birdie?

I am getting a tad embarrassed actually because this charity is being so accommodating that I find I am saying nooooo, don't do that! I'll cope! I am going to have turn up with a box of chocolates or something...

lostinrates

tea_lover wrote: »

It would probably be cheaper to get married than to pay for the legal expenses of re-creating it via other paperwork.. iyswim.

There are still some paper works its better to do than not however. Lasting power of at tourney, for example, wills ( certainly if children are involved its good to actually sit and think about about things)

Pyxis

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Pyxis - Larp weddings are cute in theory but incredibly odd and slightly cringey in practise! Though the wedding I mentioned at the Scout camp shared a lot of things with the hobby (camping, barbecues, games, oh and the pub ) nobody was in their "kit". It was weird seeing the guests in suits and things instead of armour and mud :)HBS x

Ooooh! Armour and mud! I wouldn't mind if my knight's armour was muddy!

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Hint-it involves feathers and fur!

Armour and mud, now feathers and fur!!!

This thread is getting itself a few shades of monochrome!

tea_lover

lostinrates wrote: »

There are still some paper works its better to do than not however. Lasting power of at tourney, for example, wills ( certainly if children are involved its good to actually sit and think about about things)

Oh absolutely.

elsien

Having spent a training day looking at LPA, advanced directives etc, I'm doing the lot, regardless of relationship status. And in some respects I think the health and welfare one is more important than the financial one. I don't want some random stranger making decisions about where I live and the care I get.
Part of my new job is the paid person's representative role for people who are in hospital or residential/nursing care, subject to restrictions, and don't have family to look out for them. And it's more than a little worrying seeing professionals either ignorant of or choosing to ignore the relevant bits of legislation that is meant to protect people.