We all need to be heard for a little while.

tea_lover

HBS - have just seen another article that seems relevant today:
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/feb/20/are-you-running-on-empty

Nothing particularly ground-breaking there, but could be worth a quick look.

Waves_and_Smiles

You are just as lovely as the rest of us, tea!

Birdie85

HBS- Just butting in to say that his previous 'type' clearly wasn't good for him as they're all exes! You'll probably have come across this yourself and noticed that people who are beautiful inside are much more attractive than those who are superfically attractive but ugly inside! My DH is much better looking than I am but I have never worried about it as he believes that I'm the most beautiful woman he knows (IRL at least; we both admit there's a long way to go until I'm as 'perfect' as Jessica Alba! ). Anyway, your OH probably thinks he's punching above his weight since you're beautiful and funny and smart and interesting and so the list goes on!

WaS, I'm so impressed with how well you've coped this week with all the building work going on! Well done! Have a cookie! :T I really hope the windows are done quickly so you can get back to normal.

codemonkey

HBS - as a lefty (politically and handed) and a trade unionist, I advise you to stop working hours and to a level you're not being paid for. You are effectively devaluing your hourly rate, and in broader terms, letting your company get away with not spending the money it needs to employ another body. If the work doesn't get done, that's not your problem.

As for your OH, I'm going to penguin something in case it upsets WaS. I used to work with a an older man who lived with his partner. Both had been married before and didn't want to do it again. Then one day, he showed up with a wedding ring. They'd got married in a registry office with 2 witnesses dragged off the street. He told me it was mainly to secure her rights to his pension if something happened to him. A few months later, he died suddenly of a heart attack (WaS if you're reading this - its not your fault). It made it a lot easier for his widow to claim his pension. Maybe you could go down that route with your OH. .

End penguiny bit.

Also to the punching above his weight type. He's not with you because there's a shortage of leggy blondes. He's with you because you are beautiful as you are. Before I met DH, my preference was for Rugby Second Row types with long hair, although I did date guys who looked like Bert from Sesame Street and Sideshow Bob. DH is tall and skinny and bald. When we first met, I thought he was quite good looking and the more I got to know him, the more I thought he was gorgeous. DH was quite inexperienced when we met, which is quite sweet, especially since, erm, I was not. Now he's grown in confidence and I worry that he's going to wake up one morning and go, hang on, I married a size 12 redhead with long legs and decent boobs and career prospects, not this chubby zombie with grey roots who cant make a decision anymore. I did do the white dress (pale ivory) thing though and got driven there in a 1933 Daimler.

dubs57

Just to say I continue to read and enjoy the support and encouragement of everybody on here to each other. There is also a lot of humour from time to time and interesting and unexpected insights!!

heartbreak_star

codemonkey wrote: »

HBS - as a lefty (politically and handed) and a trade unionist, I advise you to stop working hours and to a level you're not being paid for. You are effectively devaluing your hourly rate, and in broader terms, letting your company get away with not spending the money it needs to employ another body. If the work doesn't get done, that's not your problem.

As for your OH, I'm going to penguin something in case it upsets WaS.

End penguiny bit.

Also to the punching above his weight type. He's not with you because there's a shortage of leggy blondes. He's with you because you are beautiful as you are. Before I met DH, my preference was for Rugby Second Row types with long hair, although I did date guys who looked like Bert from Sesame Street and Sideshow Bob. DH is tall and skinny and bald. When we first met, I thought he was quite good looking and the more I got to know him, the more I thought he was gorgeous. DH was quite inexperienced when we met, which is quite sweet, especially since, erm, I was not. Now he's grown in confidence and I worry that he's going to wake up one morning and go, hang on, I married a size 12 redhead with long legs and decent boobs and career prospects, not this chubby zombie with grey roots who cant make a decision anymore. I did do the white dress (pale ivory) thing though and got driven there in a 1933 Daimler.

Yay! I'm a (political) lefty too

Main issue is that we're a private company, and I don't think we have a union. My job description is so broad you could maaaaybe say most of this is OK (if you squint right) and I'm terrified of losing my job Plus if I don't do this, there isn't any other work.

I have spoken to my manager who has promised to meet with our department director and HR as they don't think it's fair either

Re: OH...I dunno. One day I'm either going to plan a sensible talk with him or just cry. I would like a day to celebrate cementing our relationship with the people who mean the most to us!

Again, I say RAAAARGH!

(PS - same goes for you and DH - he married you because of who you are )

HBS x

codemonkey

Hbs - its good that your manager and HR are involved. I appreciate that its more difficult to refuse in the private sector and non unionised place. Hopefully it will get sorted out. Its never too late to brush up on your coding skills though, if that's what you want to do. I keep meaning to learn different skills - my coding language is kind of a dark art, and a dying one at that.

onomatopoeia99

codemonkey wrote: »

my coding language is kind of a dark art, and a dying one at that.

I know the feeling

[cut and paste of random line of source]
mov rcx,[rbp+010h]
[/cut and paste]

codemonkey

Heh, I did C++ at uni. And C too.

lostinrates

heartbreak_star wrote: »

It's come up in conversation, but it appears he's of the opinion that as long as the paperwork is sorted it's a bit of a waste of money.

I can see where he's coming from, as I wouldn't change my name and we don't want children...but still. It would be nice.

HBS x

Ours cost about £100 quid, think it was 60 for license and 40 for the day. Its a little more I think now, getting married is very cheap, but weddings can be more expensive.