suspicions confirmed

Kim_kim

DUTR wrote: »

The OP stated they have a property of their own, they are not her partner's children so they didn't appear from nowhere, she has to lick her wounds and move on to the next guy, this current guy will have little or no regrets he has the video to prove it.

I think that's what I said.

HPoirot

happytravells wrote: »

I know some will say this is wrong but for quite a while I've had suspicions that my boyfriend of 5 and half years has had a "close " relationship with his ex, he has always denied this and has always said I'm crazy if I think that. Anyway to cut a long story short I saw him put his code in his phone and when he left it on the side I had a look- I was speechless he has a video of himself having sex with the ex, it's a recent video as the video shows the date and place- I've kept calm do far as I live in his home with my children and I'm not sure how to tackle this- we've had our ups and downs, and I have my own home (currently rented out) but I really hoped we would have a future together. So what I'm asking is should I try to forget I found the video or should I confront him, problem is I know he won't be sorry he will make excuses and probably tell me it serves me right for snooping.

So now you know, doesn't look like you have a future with him.

DUTR

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

Really? Very creepy imo.

IYO , but life comes in all flavours and how is it harming you? I find it creepy that folk post pictures of their children on facebook, especially on open view profiles.

DUTR

HPoirot wrote: »

So now you know, doesn't look like you have a future with him.

Which should focus the thread on what should the OP now do?

Pollycat

DUTR wrote: »

I know a large minority of people that have video's of past events, femail's included.

Is it me or is this a contradiction?

moneyistooshorttomention

SnooksNJ wrote: »

That's true, video's are hard to watch on phones. But with a few steps you can make it a lot easier for him and his ex to watch it by putting it on his facebook page.

Very tempting thought...obviously.

Best not to though..because of the children. If you didn't have children then you could feel quite free to do so. Because you have children then it would be wisest not to (their mates would darn soon find it....:eek:).

Buzzybee90

DUTR wrote: »

IYO , but life comes in all flavours and how is it harming you? I find it creepy that folk post pictures of their children on facebook, especially on open view profiles.

Are we talking about the same thing? Keep pictures/videos of an ex?

clarryd

I think you should get all your own affairs in order. i.e: give your tenants notice asap, get your name off any bills etc that you pay in his house, make sure your benefits if you get them are in place for your moving date. If the DWP ask any questions let them know that you are separated from you partner and that you are only staying there until your tenants move out and give them the date that you intend to move back into your own house.

Why would your partner have this video on his phone 5 1/2 years after he split with her, think, has he had the same phone that long probably not. I wouldn't tell him you are leaving until everything is in place for you to go as he may put you and your children out and you will be homeless until your own house is empty.

I am sorry but you have to be prepared and getting everything sorted is preparing, you have children that need your stability so keep everything the same until its time to move. Tell no one that doesn't need to know and make sure that everything is done in e-mail form if he doesn't know your password (you can always change it) or in writing but not over the phone as he may answer the phone and find out all your plans.

Normally I would say give him the benefit of the doubt but if you seen the video (send yourself a copy if you can from his phone, then delete the sending from his phone). He will probably deny all knowledge of this video and you will have the proof. It is not normal for someone to keep a sex video of their ex.

You have to get out of this relationship it is no good for you and in time you will find a decent bloke that you can depend on and treat you with the up most respect.

Good luck

DUTR

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

Are we talking about the same thing? Keep pictures/videos of an ex?

I have pictures and videos of ex's , nice to keep memory's from the past, just because you find it weird, as it is not illegal it is not weird (only in your and others that feel that way mind) , snooping is equally as wierd, jealousy for those unaffected is also wierd.

If I was with a female and I suspected them, my toughts would focus on what would I accept if they were and leave or accept it. No need to snoop.

DUTR

clarryd wrote: »

snip

You have to get out of this relationship it is no good for you and in time you will find a decent bloke that you can depend on and treat you with the up most respect.

Good luck

And that respects start with respecting herself 1st, curious to know what happened to the children's father.