Brother in Law is Upset with Us

LilElvis

thorsoak wrote: »

Bottle of (cheap) washing up liquid? Or 2 (v cheap) loo rolls?

In the spirit of regifting I think that some (washed!) plastic takeaway cartons for use as fridge and freezer storage would be appropriate.

gayleygoo

As most replies have pointed, it was the lack of thought put into the gift that may have offended.

For a friend's (non-milestone) birthday, I filled a litre clip jar with haribo and jelly laces. It only cost about about £6, but he loves jelly sweets and seemed genuinely very pleased with it. For my birthday he gave me 5 big bars of chocolate, which I really loved too - our gifts weren't bank-breaking but showed we'd put some thought into it.

I was more shocked by your "apology" on FB.

• Firstly, if genuine offense was caused then in my opinion, FB is not an acceptable way of apologising. Face-to-face, phone call, or even a posted apologetic card is better.
• You didn't actually apologise if you tried to shift blame to your hubby or made excuses. An apology is admitting fault and being sorry for it without trying to get sympathy.
• You admitted it was regifted? That's a case of honesty maybe not being best policy. You probably offended him even further by admitting you couldn't be bothered to even buy a chocolate orange.

TBH OP, I think your hubby has more to apologise for as it really should have been up to him to arrange a decent present for his brother's 30th birthday (my OH always needs reminded about his family birthdays well in advance, but he does usually manage to produce a book, bottle of whiskey, or good mountain socks.) Not everyone gives adult gifts for all birthdays, but the point is that a milestone in his life was not at all considered by close family. You could have taken him out for drinks, made him a special dinner or baked a cake.

I think it is particularly difficult around christmas when there is so much spending and present buying going on, and other stresses (the work on your house I'm sure was stressful besides the expense), it is easy for dec/jan birthdays to get lost in the chaos. However you did have time to plan it and with two full-time incomes it would be reasonable to expect something a little better than giving a chocolate orange that nobody wanted.

fin7

thorsoak wrote: »

Bottle of (cheap) washing up liquid? Or 2 (v cheap) loo rolls?

That wouldn't be recycled loo roll by any chance?

FatVonD

Jagraf wrote: »

Chocolate oranges seem to be getting smaller too

Maybe everybody is having a lick before regifting it

Serendipitious

notanewuser wrote: »

Wonder what will be coming to the OP from the BIL as a housewarming present.........

Maybe the chocolate orange ?

Nicely wrapped and accompanied by a 'New Home' card.

enthusiasticsaver

I don't think it is nice to give a regifted cheap present to a close family member for a milestone birthday but then again my Son In Law is 30 next weekend so hmmm perhaps I could try that That seems to be more down to OPs hubby though as it is his brother so he should have put more thought into that. Ask him how he would feel if his brother did the same.


However if the 29 year old brother who tattles to mummy over his disappointing present and disappears off to his room to play computer games every time his brother and SIL comes round to visit then perhaps he needs a bit of a put down and needs to grow up a bit.


However, in the interest of family harmony I would get him something with a bit more thought and take him out for a drink and apologise properly - not on facebook. You don't need to go overboard if you are tight moneywise.


Other personal comments about OP and previous posting history is just being unnecessarily judgemental about something totally different to this thread.

mavvymoo

Having read this regifted all most out of date Chocolate Orange discussion and finding it really funny.
What I really want to know is - Was the chocolate orange wrapped in sparkly paper with bows and a nice tag ? Or just given in an old supermarket bag ?

Personally I myself would prefer the 2nd option As I would be even more disappointed if it was wrapped really nicely :rotfl::rotfl:

FBaby

Ultimately, we put the level of thought/money into gifts/attention as a testament to how we value the relationship. OP put no thought nor money into it and BIL took it as that she had little value for him as a person (and I do believe it is much more about the thought than the value because there are many things you can gift that shows the person you value them at very little cost). That's fine, it is her choice to do so, as long as she expects nothing back in return. Who knows what the future holds, maybe one day she might find herself in a position that she might need the help of her BIL but will get nothing from him. Best scenario would be him winning the lottery, gifting every one with a few £100k, and OP getting a photocopy of the winning ticket as her present!

liney

For those assuming the BiL went 'running to mommy' I think it is more likely that as it had been his birthday Mom asked him what he got from his brother and Fredula and he said TCO - 'bit carp isn't it? I half wish they hadn't bothered at all. It's like the looked in the cupboard to see what they had left over, and decided that would do!

Mom must also think it's 'bit carp, or she would have told him to suck it up, instead of telling the couple he was narked about it.

Abbafan1972

I think I would have preferred nothing, instead of a chocolate orange and one that was re-gifted as well!