Brother in Law is Upset with Us

Person_one

thorsoak wrote: »

Frankly, I am shocked at the number of people who think that it was "offensive" to give a chocolate orange as a token Christmas present to a 30-year old!

If the OP and her husband had made it clear that they were not giving big presents because of their house purchase - why should they not give chocolate oranges? After all, it should be the thought that counts - and they had got him a present!

It wasn't a christmas present though, it was for his 30th birthday, and no thought at all went into it!

rainbowfairydust

purpleshoes wrote: »

There's a fine line between thrift and coming across as just being miserable.

i would say OP is rather thoughtless, than miserable. its fair enough they dont spend a massive amount on presents but to not make an effort isnt very nice.

Lily-Rose_3

Just wondered, but to the people who think that the BIL had a 'right' to be offended at being given a regifted chocolate orange, what do you suggest that the OP and her hubby should have got instead?

Because in my experience, some people will just whinge and moan at whatever someone buys them, and the chances are high that even if they had bought the choc orange (new, not regifted,) and something else smallish with it, the BIL would still have moaned.

Like I said, earlier in the thread, not many people buy me gifts anyway, so I would have been grateful for anything given to me. I certainly would not have gone crying off to mommy about how upset I was. (When I was THIRTY years old!) It's incredibly petty. The BIL sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do.

Also, like I said earlier, some people just expect more off people than others.

Yes, a regifted choc orange IS a bit tight, but for the brother to make an issue of it is just childish and petty IMO. He obviously has nothing else to worry about in his life!

raven83

I can't believe how much response this thread has had and is still ongoing. You have got to see the humor in it though, funniest thread I have read in a long time and even funnier because it is genuine:p:rotfl:

Domayne

notanewuser wrote: »

A) he bought the malteasers
it wasn't a significant birthday
C) he probably wasn't saving £900+ a month

With DH's birthday being just after new year I have a fair bit of sympathy with the OP's BIL. He probably got forgotten or had register things from others too. Doubt he expected it from his own brother though!

What does it matter that it was regifted? Even if the OP bought it herself, it still would have been a 'thoughtless' gift?
People where attacking her for being 'tight' even before she mentioned that it was re-gifted....some people (myself included) would have been more than happy with a chocolate orange, so I really don't see it as tight?
Like I said, my own sister bought me nothing for my 30th and I wasn't bothered in the least...why is 30 more significant than 29/31/32 etc??
She mentioned just before xmas they bought a house that needs a ton of work on it, which I'm sure doesn't come cheap?
Idk I guess I'm just really not seeing what was so bad about this?
Maybe I'm also miserable and tight

Lily-Rose_3

RAVEN83. Please take your picture down: it's making me feel like a fat ugly old pig. :rotfl:


(Just kidding.) Leave it! You are stunning though!!!!!

rainbowfairydust

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Just wondered, but to the people who think that the BIL had a 'right' to be offended at being given a regifted chocolate orange, what do you suggest that the OP and her hubby should have got instead?

i dont think we know if the BIL actually went winging, and moaning to his mum. He could have winged but he also could just mentioned it in passing to his mum. It could be his mum who has turned this into an issue.

I think its silly and childish if he did do the former. After all it is still a gift -even if it has been re-gifted however if he just mentioned it in passing then whats the issue? (somethingi would also do and i am NOT a spoilt petulant adult but i would most likely mention it in passing). I probably would also mention the short date. I cant see the problem? Especially if someone asked me what i had got.

I dont think the main issue is the chocolate orange itself..its the lack of thought and care behind the gift. It would make me feel that that the relative didnt know me at all or even care enough to bother making me a cake. A present i would be extremely pleased to receive because the giver bothered their backside enough to spend time making me something.

Spendless

It's not always about what present you receive it's also about who gives it to you.

It's my Mums 70th birthday tomorrow, let's say she receives a chocolate orange from the below relatives, how she'd react is different with each one

her grandkids- thrilled to bits knowing they have used their own pocket money to go and buy this themselves.

me or my Dad, (her daughter husband) pretty much reacts like BIL has, thinks it's not very well thought out. I suspect she'd be more annoyed with my Dad though

Nan (her Mum- who has dementia) - lots of mixed emotions, including being surprised and pleased Nan remembered, saddened that her condition makes it she buys 'pocket money' presents in the same way her grandkids would

raven83

Lily-Rose wrote: »

RAVEN83. Please take your picture down: it's making me feel like a fat ugly old pig. :rotfl:


(Just kidding.) Leave it! You are stunning though!!!!!

Thanks and I am sure you are not! The good thing with selfies is that you always capture your good side;):D

Lily-Rose_3

raven83 wrote: »

Thanks and I am sure you are not! The good thing with selfies is that you always capture your good side;):D

Haha, awww bless you.

I guess I'm not ugly, but fat? Yes! (And a bit old. 51... :rotfl: )

I am on a healthy eating kick though. Started it 2 weeks ago. Lost half a stone! Got 4 and a half stone to go though.

You did well (according to your sig. ) What did you do Raven? Just general eating better and exercising more? At what point did you get to your target weight? And have you kept the weight off since?

Sorry for asking. Hope you don't mind.