New Alcohol self help

lewt

feelinggood wrote: »

Made some ammends, not all. Sponsor thinks that the last three steps aren't really going to work while I'm living in active addiction.

big book say we commence with ten while we are making ammends.... if your not continuing to take inventory or clear up the wreakage of your past, then things will be building up. i know personally i need to clear house, help others and maintain contact with HP or i fall into all sorts of other ways of acting out. i have ti remeber that first things come first. and my first thing is mind alturing chemicals... i dont beat myself up if i buy another watch or eat a load of food today.
what is the other thing ? SH?
i cant stress the importance of 9 more though mate,

feelinggood_2

lewt wrote: »

big book say we commence with ten while we are making ammends.... if your not continuing to take inventory or clear up the wreakage of your past, then things will be building up. i know personally i need to clear house, help others and maintain contact with HP or i fall into all sorts of other ways of acting out. i have ti remeber that first things come first. and my first thing is mind alturing chemicals... i dont beat myself up if i buy another watch or eat a load of food today.
what is the other thing ? SH?
i cant stress the importance of 9 more though mate,

I take my inventory daily, and its since starting to take a written inventory that I've realised how bad my other behaviours are.

Primary problem is food - binging/purging. That said, SH is every other day at the moment.

The main thing I had to make ammends for was being absent - it didn't feel right to just turn up out of the blue and go on a big emotional rant - I'm working on building bridges, before making a formal apology.

lewt

feelinggood wrote: »

I take my inventory daily, and its since starting to take a written inventory that I've realised how bad my other behaviours are.

Primary problem is food - binging/purging. That said, SH is every other day at the moment.

The main thing I had to make ammends for was being absent - it didn't feel right to just turn up out of the blue and go on a big emotional rant - I'm working on building bridges, before making a formal apology.

im not sure what sort of step 4 you've done. was it anything like the 10 i posted the other day? can i suggest reading p76 on wards till you see the promises you hear read out at meetings.
also (and again i'm just pointing out here) step 9 says (made direct amends) making my amends didnt feel right to me either cause i'm used to hiding away from stuff like that,(still have to put the action in now too) i had to take the bit in my teeth. and like i was promised i was amazed before i was half way though. if in doubt check the book. its all there. i can direct you to the places it talks about things. sadly i can only out the action in for myself though... gb feelie im off to bed now i gota work tomorrow. i'll send one up for you though ( prayer)

feelinggood_2

lewt wrote: »

im not sure what sort of step 4 you've done. was it anything like the 10 i posted the other day? can i suggest reading p76 on wards till you see the promises you hear read out at meetings.
also (and again i'm just pointing out here) step 9 says (made direct amends) making my amends didnt feel right to me either cause i'm used to hiding away from stuff like that,(still have to put the action in now too) i had to take the bit in my teeth. and like i was promised i was amazed before i was half way though. if in doubt check the book. its all there. i can direct you to the places it talks about things. sadly i can only out the action in for myself though... gb feelie im off to bed now i gota work tomorrow. i'll send one up for you though ( prayer)

I did my Step Four the Big Book Way, and was incredibly thorough and as honest as I possibly could be. Didn't like looking at me, and I didn't get the nice 'freeing' feeling that most people I know talked about. Maybe I expected too much.

I need to learn to shut up and stop complaining

I don't feel ready/able/capable of making the big decison I need to make, so I'll sit in my rut, hurting like hell but unable/unwilling to change.

lewt

feelinggood wrote: »

I did my Step Four the Big Book Way, and was incredibly thorough and as honest as I possibly could be. Didn't like looking at me, and I didn't get the nice 'freeing' feeling that most people I know talked about. Maybe I expected too much.

I need to learn to shut up and stop complaining

I don't feel ready/able/capable of making the big decison I need to make, so I'll sit in my rut, hurting like hell but unable/unwilling to change.

i didnt get that feeling till 9 either...... lol at your second sentance... you are able/cabable cause your 19? months sober and that takes ability and capacity to belive. only you know if your unwilling or not.
its like the book says and i dont know if you can tell or not but i belive 100% in what it says "half messures avialed us nothing"

feelinggood_2

I'm 19 months sober, but it isn't 'real' sobriety and doesn't really count for much.

My head is still incredibly cloudy.

Anyways, to bed with you. Thanks.

brodev

feelinggood wrote: »

I'm 19 months sober, but it isn't 'real' sobriety and doesn't really count for much.

My head is still incredibly cloudy.

Anyways, to bed with you. Thanks.

Don't kid yourself. This is real sobriety and it counts for a hell of a lot. I had tremendous struggles in my early days, primarily with anger. I could not hold down a job. I went 5 years when the longest I held a job was 3 months although I was never out of a job for more than 1 week.. I once had 3 jobs in 1 day. It was very painful. If I didn't have the sobriety I would never have survived. Sometimes survival on a daily business is all that we get. I was getting gradually better but not nearly as quickly as I wanted. I would sometimes be full of despair and think that there was no way out. At the time I had never heard of "anger management". I thought I was just insane. By holding on to today and by repeating to myself that come what may I would not take one drink today I gradually got through it and eventually I learned how to control my anger. All I can suggest is what was said to me. Very much get back to basics. Do things just for today. Whatever happens drink is NOT the answer. If your other affliction happens don't beat yourself up about it. Try to forgive yourself and start again immediately you realise. I once screamed at my wife, along with some profanities "I'm sorry" It was not the right way nor the right time but It helped me and I later found out that my wife realised what I was doing and that it had helped her.
I have been leading a sober and nearly normal life for a long time now and I am not concerned any more what people think of me but this is a public forum so be careful what you say.

Chrismojam

Yep, it has been a long time since I've been on here. Good to see the same names (and some new ones) on here - good to know people are supporting each other.

Well, what's happened since I was last on. I think I was last on when my mum took seriously ill and came very close to dying, which completely freaked me out as I was with her in the hospital at the time. Well, she is still here, even after a few more scares. The woman is fortified with nicotine I'm sure :rolleyes: (and her tot or two everyday).;)

She took another bad turn last October, and the stress took it's toll on me (work was stressful at the time as well, and it got too much). I went off sick for a month (didn't feel I could stay off any longer, so got back to it). The week I went back, I discovered (very much by chance) that my OH had been cheating and screwing around with someone from work :mad:.

Still, ce la vie and all that. The woman's done me a favour:D . (Ok, still working on that one:o ).

So, been working my way through those things, still working on the drinking. Trying again, been a week (but then if I binge it's normally weekly anyway), so I need to go 2/3/4 weeks before I think I'm getting anywhere. I know it's one day at a time really.

Anyway, that's my update.

Feelinggood: sorry to read things are so tough for you at the mo. But I have to say very well done on 19 months so far. That is a real achievement;) .

Take care all XX

feelinggood_2

Thanks for all the support recently guys. Just wanted to let you know that I got through a full day without misuing food yesterday :-) It finally got painful enough. No more half measures.

brodev

I'm really happy for you feelie