New Alcohol self help

Becciboobah

mandi wrote: »

Its well known on the boards that my sister is an alcoholic

Op were is you dad getting his Vodka from ? does he buy it himself , or does your mum buy it for him ?

The reason I ask is for years my mum & I didn't want the embarrassment of a family member falling over drunk in a shop , sometimes she begged for hours for us to buy it until we caved in .
In doing so we fed her habit .

After many years of faked suicide attempts , harassment , and violence from her I decided enough was enough . Her habit not only ruined my relationship with my family , and my friends , but my children's relationship with their grandparents .

My mother by this time had developed co dependency with my sisters habit

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency

AA is a complete waste of time unless you dad wants to attend and by the sound of your OP he is a very long way from even thinking about it .

My advice to you would be to support your mum as best you can , but you have to look after yourself too.

If you mum is buying the Vodka she must stop even if it means him going out and buying it himself .
My sister ended up in prison last year & is now in a secure psychiatric unit .

I fully understand how you feel and you have my sympathy , but it is a route you dad has chosen to take , and until he decides to change direction none will change his mind :A

He buys it himself, my Mum will not buy it for him, he has his own account that his pension is paid into which he uses, which is why my original post asked about getting power of attorney over his accounts. A VERY long shot which we could probably never do all the while 'he doesn't have a problem'. I've been out for the afternoon with my LO, so I will try to go through the posts and dissect all your wonderful advice.

I do understand the 'tough love' angle and that's been my stance for a long time but my Mum, I think to a certain extent, has resigned herself to this being the way things are. She appears to take her wedding vows extremely seriously as a devout christian and believe me, when my Dad walked out when I was 13 it was the happiest day of my childhood until the day he came back again, realising he couldn't afford to support himself .