New Alcohol self help

feelinggood_2

I'm plodding along, putting one foot in front of the other. Still having to real fight the urge to isolate. Things are starting to happen now, I should be getting real treatment for the depression and stuff soon, so fingers crossed.

imported_goldie

Just looking for some advice about my 19 year old son. He has always been quite a drinker throughtout his teens - binge drinking with friends but at one point drinking alone in his room. Last year was quite tough - problems at uni etc and his drinking. Thought things were calming down and that he was just drinking occasionally but now find he is drinking every night (usually bottle whisky)and cannot sleep without it, I have noticed the whites of his eyes slowly turning yellow. The problem is he has told this person about his heavy drinking (also that he is having pains around his liver) in confidence and has sworn them to secrecy. I have only been told because his friend feels he is very ill and i should know. The problem is how do i broach this and get him to see the doctor without him knowing his confidence was betrayed? I am also very worried for the future as he plans to return to uni in spetember and his flatmates are very heavy drinkers.

feelinggood_2

Hi Imported_Goldie.

I'm not sure how useful anything I say will be, as I've only ever lived things from the alcoholic side of things. We have a few family members and maybe they'll be more help later on.

Does your Son hide his drinking? Could you accidentally find the empty bottles, or reciepts, or something else which you can use as a starting point for the conversation?

AA has a lot of young members, me being one of them. I was 19 when I stopped drinking. Do you think if you printed out some AA information and left it lying around he'd take notice? There is a 'message for young people' page:
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/newcomer/youngpeople.shtml

I'd also recommend Al-Anon, who "provide understanding, strength and hope to anyone whose life is, or has been, affected by someone else's drinking." You'll be able to talk with people who have been where you are.
http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

Sorry I couldn't be more help.

imported_goldie

Thanks for your help, it was good of you to take the time to reply. He is living away at Uni accomm at the moment .Just really worried for the future, if he is told to stop drinking (which i am sure he will be as sure he must have liver damage)dont know how he will be able to do this with flat mates who binge drink plus other friends whose social life centres around pubs/clubs. Just hoping thedoctor will be able to refer him to some help.

feelinggood_2

The Doctor will know what services are available in the area. There will be AA meetings near him, which he could go to to get help in stopping drinking. There is also likely to be an Drink and Drug counselling service in the area, who can help with stopping drinking, or controlling his drinking. There is help available if he decides he wants it. It can be difficult to get sober at a young age, but it is possible, if he wants it.

brodev

Hi Goldie, I recognise your predicament and you have my sympathy. I joined AA 44 years ago when I was 23 after booze very nearly killed me. At the time I despised my mother as she kept telling me that I was an alcoholic and that I should go to this "new fangled" AA. There were some terrible rows. I am very grateful to my mother now as I would not be alive never mind happy, if it had not been for her. If your son is anything like me then there is no way I know of that you can broach the subject without animosity from him. I can only agree with "Feeling Good" when she suggests going to Alanon. They have a wealth of experience in dealing with alcoholic (or problem drinking) relatives and they will provide you with the support you need. I wish you well.

imported_goldie

Thanks brodev. I know what you mean, when I have mentioned his drinking before he has just pulled a face and told me to "stop moaning". However this is too serious to leave, his eyes are yellow which I believe is a sure sign of liver damage. I have made a doctors appointment for him and will tell him why and that I believe he is very ill. Will keep you posted.

feelinggood_2

Can I ask the AA'ers here what thier experience of Step Eleven is?

lewt

feelinggood wrote: »

Can I ask the AA'ers here what thier experience of Step Eleven is?

11 for me consists of in the morning i say the s3 prayer and the step 7 prayer(adding any defects that might come up during the day if i know certain situations might arise), i also prayer for others and all the addicts and alcoholics that aint found the way i have, i then sit and take it easy and allow god to transmit to me as i have just done for him.
thoughout the day i say :thy will be done" i also use the fear prayer and the god this is a sick man prayer.... i often say 7 thoughout the day too..... then in the evening i say 7 after ive done my 10 to remove any defects that showed themselevess that day. and i sit for a few mins before i sleep too. i do find it hard to sit at times though. be quick to see where other faiths and books are right for you though... in the big book it starts talking bout 11 on p86 on awaking.......

brodev

Step eleven.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
My experience of this step started for me by going back to my church (denomination unimportant). AA is a "spiritual kindergarden" and recognises itself as such. My relationship with God is a personal one that I could not do without. Because of another illness I suffer from I have regularly gone for a week without food, I would rather do that than go without my relationship with God for a week. That relationship sustains me inside. Prayer feeds me spiritually, meditation I am not good at but the little I achieve is the best I can do. When I want something I find it difficult not to pray for it but rather to pray for God's will for me, but I try.
Anything else you wish to know just ask. It may be better to email me rather than inflict this on the rest of the forum . I'll PM you with my addy.