New Alcohol self help

duchy

Just want to wish the OP good luck this morning. I hope this was a lapse and not the return to his old ways -but whichever it is I hope you do is what right for you first and foremost.

DVardysShadow

poet123 wrote: »

Quite so, but there does come a point in many instances where the person involved cannot see that what they are doing has repercussions on others, and so a choice has to be made. It is all very well standing by and waiting for the penny to drop, but at what cost to others do you continue to do so, and for how long?

If someone is clearly drunk, and has car keys, cannot be reasoned with, and cannot be persuaded to relinquish the keys, whose feelings and safety come first? the drunk, or the innocent bystander on the corner who may be my child or yours?

I would agree with that, to an extent. But OP was not in a position to try reasoning with OH. A big problem with telling the police is that they are unlikely to attempt to reason with him and prevent OH driving, they are more likely to let him drive and pull him over when his car is spotted. In other words, they are more interested in getting a conviction than in protecting the innocent bystanders. So if you are looking to absolve your conscience for the risk of innocent bystanders, the police are not going to do it for you.

zzzLazyDaisy

Ruby_Moon wrote: »

Not true for all abusive drunks and you can't really generalise. Only the OP can know the answer to my suggestion.

I think we have to accept that she DOES know the answer - hence her decision to leave her home late at night and go to a hotel. Not something a person would do unless she believed she had good reason and/or no alternative.

Felicity

You poor thing, well done for getting away last night. You shouldn't have had to be even so ....

I grew up with an alcoholic father who turned very abusive when drunk, a very intelligent man who would play the strangest of mind games. It culminated in my family falling apart and my brother and I now having a very distant relationship with him.

I totally understand the anguish and anxiety of waiting for a drunk loved one to return home and the fear it brings.

I hope he is able to get back to where he was yesterday and you can rebuild your trust in him. Maybe show him this thread when he has sobered up.

Good luck and God Bless x

poet123

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

I think we have to accept that she DOES know the answer - hence her decision to leave her home late at night and go to a hotel. Not something a person would do unless she believed she had good reason and/or no alternative.

The voice of common sense, should this not have been obvious?

Morglin

far2812 wrote: »

I am devastated. My partner has managed 7 months sobriety and has just called me drunk from the pub.

Basically, I have just come home and it is obvious he hasn't been at home all day! The poor dog is crossing his legs.

OH managed 7 months sobriety and for some stupid reason has ended up drinking again in the pub.....

My problem.............he is abusive when drunk..........I am kind of dreading him coming home!

I haven't got any family (or friends really - as he has managed to put a distance between us and them!)

I am gutted!

Dump him and go and stay in a cheap hotel if you have no one else - the only person who can help an alchoholic is the person themselves, if they choose to.

These guys may have some good advice:

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/


Good luck (and make it up with family and mates - you need them!)

Lin

shellsuit

OP, so sorry he has fallen off the wagon, you must have been so upset and dissapointed last night, not to mention terrified.

I'm glad you managed to sort yourself and pooch out last night and I wish you luck with talking to him today xx

far2812

Well here's the update. I came home this morning and he was feeling very sorry for himself rather than any guilt whatsoever.

I tried being reasonable and suggested that he call his sponsor etc etc. WE had a very deep conversation and I truly believe that he did regret what he did (eventually!).

Then he said he was going to make amends with his mum (who only lives around the corner). He was gone for about an hour and I called him (to check up really if I am being honest) - really I shouldn't be surprised but he was back in the pub!

So here I am, back in the Travelodge with my puppy and am just devastated. This now means he is on a bender and no-one knows how long they last (if in fact he lasts it!).

I am so sad and my pup doesn't know what do you with himself poor little thing - they sense everything!

budget_babe

Hi Sweetheart,

I just wanted to send you a very big hug (())

You are going through such a terrible time, but there is a: giving up / cutting down alcohol thread on debt free diaries.

There are people on there who are recovering alcoholics etc who can offer help and support.

I do hope that you will be ok and please have a look at the thread I have mentioned, they are a really great bunch of people.

Take care sweetheart :A
Budgie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

tanith

So sorry you have to go through this, I speak from experience, an alcoholic will say absolutely anything to get whoever is stopping him from getting a drink out of the way. They will lie, agree to anything in the world just to get free to go and drink.... its a sad fact but true. I can't tell you what to do and maybe you haven't got there yet but I can honestly say that I felt the weight of the world lift from my shoulders the day I walked away and my life began again.... good luck