New Alcohol self help

WASHER

It could be that not all travelodge rooms have WIFI, she simply could be having problems getting connected, You have to book a room in advance in some Travelodges for WIFI and since she only booked the room tonight, maybe thats the answer.

far2812

Morning All

I managed to get to the travelodge last night but couldnt get connected. But it has worked this morning.

Thank you for all your advice.

OH rang last night - I couldnt really understand what he was saying but did figure out that he had "lost the car". Hopefully that just means that he has left it in a pub carpark and can't figure out which one!

I will have to go home this morning - I want to catch him when he sober (hungover).

I will keep you all up to date and thank you again for all the support - I am so glad that we have this site!

I know it's about moneysaving but I didn't know where else to turn!

ailuro2

Best wishes,glad you and the puppy had a safe night. I hope you can find some way to protect yourself from this happening again.

I left someone who was an alcoholic many years ago, it was the best move I ever made with my life - when I look back on the way I lived then it's a totally different ball game now. He never lifted a hand to me though - if he had have I'd have been out the door before he could promise never to drink again.

I heard a while back the guy I left behind has been in hospital for treatment for his alcoholism, so someone must have convinced him his drinking was a problem.

The thing is, 7 months on the wagon is all well and good, but driving without a license happened when he was sober - knowing what the consequences might be - it sounds like he's on a path of self destruction - do you really want to go down it with him?

gabyjane

Hi just wanted to say glad you are ok this morning and safe..never saw this post last night but just wanted to say really the same as what larmy16 had posted..having an alcoholic mum when me and my bro and sister were younger was not fun..i dreaded each day seeing how she would be..i fully understand why you are scared and am keeping everything crossed for you that all is ok..keep us all posted xx

Becles

Just noticed this thread this morning. Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and hope you can help him get his problems sorted out. Take care xx

onetomany

sending u a big hug op

mumslave

DVardysShadow wrote: »

He could have got a licence anytime between the alleged offence and today. Also, the case may not be proven. I have to say, I am wondering whether you have had issues with an alcoholic partner, with the vehemence of your comments.

OP is obviously trying to salvage a relationship with someone who is very obviously damaged goods. Whether or not that is wise for her is not for us to judge, although we should be free to express an opinion. What I disagree with you on is that your advice seems to be intent on damaging the OP's OH and making her implicit in spiking him with the police. Obviously, if the OP does spike her OH, it is going to add more hurt and damage to the relationship and the OP is going to hurt herself at least as much as she hurts her OH. The OP needs to think through whether she wants to continue the relationship and come to a conclusion before she spikes her OH. Fairly obviously, tonight is not the night to do that.

Tandraig's post is very helpful here

I have worked with alcoholics, had alcoholic friends and some alcoholic family members, not a partner. None of which I have issues with, other than being very sad to watch them drink their lives away. As for reporting to the police, I would far rather the OP did that than either go near the man herself or he to drive and kill innocent people, you can try to suggest its because I have a problem with alcoholics all you like, I have a problem with risks to innocent people from potential drink drivers. Now I think that is all I will say to you on this matter from now on, as i dont like your assumptions.

Good morning OP, I am so pleased you managed to get yourself to safety last night. Staying at the house could have been an option, but i presume you would have considered that when deciding what was best to do. I hope when you see him this morning, you are able to get some answers as to what triggered your OH to drink again and see if there is a way forward for you both. Best of luck x

larmy16

Anyone heard that saying, "If drink is costing you more than money, then it's costing too much". ?

His drink has cost the OP a night in the travel lodge not to mention the cost on her nerves and psyche plus his and all the guilt and worry he will no doubt feel when he comes to terms with his relapse.

This is such a sad sad situation. It puts me in two minds. There is the thought that alcohol is an illness and the person concerned has no control over it. My other thought is that they are totally selfish (not to mention downright vile when under the influence) and could not care less what they are doing to their families.

I have "finally" been able to forge a decent relationship with a very nice man, but I am sure this is because he rarely drinks and our relationship is all based on non-chemical experiences. I am very nervous around drunk people - especially men. My heart will start pounding and I just want to get away. Being drunk is so physically repulsive to me, in myself and others. I only wish I had excluded it from my life years and years ago.

OP very best of luck. Can you go through all this again? Can your man really make a promise to change for good? Is living apart an option while HE tackles his addiction. You can only do so much for people.

DVardysShadow

mumslave wrote: »

I have worked with alcoholics, had alcoholic friends and some alcoholic family members, not a partner. None of which I have issues with, other than being very sad to watch them drink their lives away. As for reporting to the police, I would far rather the OP did that than either go near the man herself or he to drive and kill innocent people, you can try to suggest its because I have a problem with alcoholics all you like, I have a problem with risks to innocent people from potential drink drivers. Now I think that is all I will say to you on this matter from now on, as i dont like your assumptions.

Karma is something people walk into. If you push it onto them, it is not karma.

poet123

DVardysShadow wrote: »

Karma is something people walk into. If you push it onto them, it is not karma.

Quite so, but there does come a point in many instances where the person involved cannot see that what they are doing has repercussions on others, and so a choice has to be made. It is all very well standing by and waiting for the penny to drop, but at what cost to others do you continue to do so, and for how long?

If someone is clearly drunk, and has car keys, cannot be reasoned with, and cannot be persuaded to relinquish the keys, whose feelings and safety come first? the drunk, or the innocent bystander on the corner who may be my child or yours?