New Alcohol self help

mumslave

oh i dont know, knowing as many alcoholics as i do, they all tend to be the most loveliest of people, but when drunk, very selfish. However I would only agree with informing the police about the car, to protect other people should he be foolish enough to drive. Its not a dilemma in my mind either, he took the car, he is drinking. It is not her responsibility to do anything with the car. We will agree to disagree i think

Greener_Grass

I have no advice to give as never dealt with anything like this before but just wanted to say good luck finding somewhere to stay for the night. Please let us know how you are and that you are safe xx

far2812

Thank you so much WASHER - I have just booked in there and am ready to go.

I dont know whether I should ring the police - I would hate it if he hurt someone! (or himself obviously). I am just hoping that he has booked himself into a B*B or something as deep down he Knows he should not be driving.

I will email you all when I get to the hotel safely and THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.
xx

tandraig

didnt want to read and run - but dont think i have anything more constructive to say than has already been said.
hun - get yourself somewhere safe for tonight! will a neighbour take you in if you cant find a room? if you were near me you could come here - but i am in south wales and from previous posts would take you all night to get here!
can i ask - why did he call you from pub? could it be he was hoping you could get him and save him from himself? or did he just abuse you verbally?
as for informing police - if you know the pub especially if you know the staff - ask them to take his keys off him! as last resort inform police hun.
you said he went to court yesterday - i imagine that tipped him over the edge and he has turned to alcohol to blot out pain. after doing so well for 7 months its a shame. he really should have been prepared for this relapse though and arranged to be anywhere except near a pub or to have his sponsor handy!
I am not excusing his behaviour - just trying to understand it - perhaps by tomorrow you will too. not telling you what to do - if you feel enough is enough thats entirely fair - you have to have a life too!!! and it shouldnt all revolve around OH and his alcoholism!
I hope you have found somewhere hun - and good luck!!!

RAS

Take care and do not go home until you know he is sober enough to behave. HUGS.

far2812

Thanks Tandraig. I have managed to book into a Travelodge - and thanks for the offer!

I think he rang just to "pretend" he would be home soon but the minute I heard his voice I knew he was in the pub. He kept asking who I was with??

He then turned (as he does or used to) screaming and shouting (which is normally when he has had too much obviously!)

He could be in one of 3 of his old regular pubs!!!!

I am just so disappointed that we were getting our lives back on track and now the cycle has started again

He does get verbally and physically abusive too!

Will be at the hotel in 15 so will let you all know when I get there.

Hope everyone else is ok!

tandraig

ok far - will check back on thread later - its a foul night out there so take care!

DVardysShadow

mumslave wrote: »

oh i dont know, knowing as many alcoholics as i do, they all tend to be the most loveliest of people, but when drunk, very selfish. However I would only agree with informing the police about the car, to protect other people should he be foolish enough to drive.

Were the police honest, I would agree. But unfortunately, the police are unlikely to act to prevent him driving. They are substantially more likely to look at this as an opportunity to wait for him to drive and then add him to their statistics. I am assuming OP wants OH cured and to stay with him - in which case involving the police is the worst of both worlds he does not get away with it nor is he prevented either.

Its not a dilemma in my mind either, he took the car, he is drinking. It is not her responsibility to do anything with the car.

No it is not her responsibility, but it might be an opportunity to avert something. So far he is clean, in that he [hopefully] has not touched the car.

DVardysShadow

far2812 wrote: »

Thanks Tandraig. I have managed to book into a Travelodge - and thanks for the offer!

I think he rang just to "pretend" he would be home soon but the minute I heard his voice I knew he was in the pub. He kept asking who I was with??

He then turned (as he does or used to) screaming and shouting (which is normally when he has had too much obviously!)

OK, no mileage in hoping for something a little better from him

He could be in one of 3 of his old regular pubs!!!!

I am just so disappointed that we were getting our lives back on track and now the cycle has started again

That must be an understatement

He does get verbally and physically abusive too!

Draw the line at the physical abuse. Don't dob him in to the police for the abuse or for possibly DUI tonight, that will not help him or you. Leave him which should help you and possibly him.

mumslave

Like i say, agree to disagree. I accept that the police may want to make an example of him and frankly i dont have an issue with that, he has already broken the law driving the car to the pub in the first place, whether he now drives it back home again or not. I dont really want to get into a debate about what the OP should do in terms of her OH, i would just like to know that she is safe, it is enough that she says she is nervous about his return, in my book, to put herself first and not him.