New Alcohol self help

maggied_2

Hi Leela

I don't have any direct experience of this although do have a couple of friends who do and it had a huge impact on their lives.

Have you visited http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

There should be some good advice on there.

I'm sure someone will be along with some better advice soon

C xxx

notsayingaword

I have a 13 year old son who lost his dad to liver disease last year. My ex drank from the moment he woke up to when he went to sleep, and even during the night. There was always a bottle of cider to hand. He refused to accept he had a problem as he never appeared drunk. Only once we had split up did I realise that he constantly smelt of alcohol and appeared intoxicated. The alcohol finally caught up with him last year after 20 odd years of drinking. He lost the ability to use his legs as his muscles had wasted away. He also lost the ability to control his bowels and was constantly soiling himself along with being sick and blacking out for periods of time. After having to crawl to answer the front door because he couldn't walk, he was taken into hospital where he was put on a drip as he was so malnourished. He was a rambling incoherent mess and died just a week after he was admitted.

So the answer to your question is if your dad doesn't stop drinking then he could die. This is probably not what you want to hear but it is possible. It was awful when I had to tell my son that his dad had died. He was very upset but I was so proud when he said that he would never drink if that's what it does to a person.

brodev

Hi BB,sorry for te delay in replying but I took a bad turn and I was rushed back into hospital again. I have been discharged today and I saw your update. I see that staying sober does not mean that I can read properly, perhaps it will come in the fullness of time. If my calculations are correct you have 20 days left. I hope to wish you well 0on the day. I celebrated my 45th 7 days ago. It was the first time that I was not able to attend a meeting on my birthday and it felt a bit funny.

Leela_G

notsayingaword wrote: »

I have a 13 year old son who lost his dad to liver disease last year. My ex drank from the moment he woke up to when he went to sleep, and even during the night. There was always a bottle of cider to hand. He refused to accept he had a problem as he never appeared drunk. Only once we had split up did I realise that he constantly smelt of alcohol and appeared intoxicated. The alcohol finally caught up with him last year after 20 odd years of drinking. He lost the ability to use his legs as his muscles had wasted away. He also lost the ability to control his bowels and was constantly soiling himself along with being sick and blacking out for periods of time. After having to crawl to answer the front door because he couldn't walk, he was taken into hospital where he was put on a drip as he was so malnourished. He was a rambling incoherent mess and died just a week after he was admitted.

So the answer to your question is if your dad doesn't stop drinking then he could die. This is probably not what you want to hear but it is possible. It was awful when I had to tell my son that his dad had died. He was very upset but I was so proud when he said that he would never drink if that's what it does to a person.

Thanks for taking the time to reply to me, when know that if he doesn't stop he will die and so does he but the drink obviosuly means more to him.

Just want to try and help prepare my mum for what may come next... his skin has already started to go jaundice and his speech is constantly slurred, can barely understand him most of the time and his memory is awful....

Bogof_Babe

Oh my word, I'm so sorry to hear about your relapse. I really do hope you are out of the woods now. It has obviously been something quite major, although of course you won't want to publish the details on a public forum!

Onwards and upwards eh? And with your permission... xxx

princess_loki

has he ever asked for help or gone to his GP? there are detox programmes, counselling and help available. some people are admitted to hospital for a detox with rehab and support afterwards. could you find out the name of the service or charity in your area? they will give you lots of advice. i know how awful it is and really feel for you. do try and get help for both yourself and your mum [hugs]

p.s. if his skin is jaundice then really he should be in hospital now

Leela_G

princess_loki wrote: »

has he ever asked for help or gone to his GP? there are detox programmes, counselling and help available. some people are admitted to hospital for a detox with rehab and support afterwards. could you find out the name of the service or charity in your area? they will give you lots of advice. i know how awful it is and really feel for you. do try and get help for both yourself and your mum [hugs]

p.s. if his skin is jaundice then really he should be in hospital now

he was at the doctors today, but they won't do anything until he wants help... which i agree with the nhs detox programmes shouldn't be abused by people that don't want the help...

notsayingaword

Leela_G wrote: »

Thanks for taking the time to reply to me, when know that if he doesn't stop he will die and so does he but the drink obviosuly means more to him.

Just want to try and help prepare my mum for what may come next... his skin has already started to go jaundice and his speech is constantly slurred, can barely understand him most of the time and his memory is awful....

I hope I didn't come across as harsh, that was just our experience. My ex also had the same problems as your dad initially with the slurring and bad memory. He also wouldn't acknowledge he was an alcoholic. His mum desperately tried to get help for him from doctors, hospital and Alcoholics Anonymous but they all said they couldn't help unless he requested the help himself. We were told to expect a long road to recovery when he was taken into hospital and at no time were we told that he was about to die. I truly believe that he had given up and had nothing else to live for as I had already begged him previously to seek help for the sake of our son if not for himself, and he couldn't even do that. The pleading from everyone fell on deaf ears. Your dad has to want to get help and if he does then that is a step in the right direction. Good luck.

princess_loki

Leela_G wrote: »

he was at the doctors today, but they won't do anything until he wants help... which i agree with the nhs detox programmes shouldn't be abused by people that don't want the help...

yes if that is the case then i agree with you. but there is support out there for you and your mum - you really need to access the support now to help you deal with what may happen. mse is excellent for support and i can understand exactly why you are posting on here. however, there are charities and organisations set up especially to help you deal with alcoholism and the way it affects you as a close relative.

you and your mum have dealt with a lot over the years. maybe now is the time to ask for some help yourselves?

Leela_G

notsayingaword wrote: »

I hope I didn't come across as harsh, that was just our experience. My ex also had the same problems as your dad initially with the slurring and bad memory. He also wouldn't acknowledge he was an alcoholic. His mum desperately tried to get help for him from doctors, hospital and Alcoholics Anonymous but they all said they couldn't help unless he requested the help himself. We were told to expect a long road to recovery when he was taken into hospital and at no time were we told that he was about to die. I truly believe that he had given up and had nothing else to live for as I had already begged him previously to seek help for the sake of our son if not for himself, and he couldn't even do that. The pleading from everyone fell on deaf ears. Your dad has to want to get help and if he does then that is a step in the right direction. Good luck.

Of course i didn't think you where being harsh, he didnt go to the doctors for help, he had blood tests taken for something else and that has shown up the liver problems... he won't get help or stop and no matter what we say he won't listen... its just my mum i want to help and support now
x