New Alcohol self help

brodev

That is something that only you can decide. I don't know you well enough to have an opinion one way or the other. I do know, however, that denial is a common symptom of the illness even though we are not drinking.Personally, I think you would be happier with yourself if you talked with her, even if it was just to say you are moving on. I would not think that you would get the "I told you so" speech as it doesn't happen all that often in AA. I have told people that I couldn't continue to sponsor them as it wasn't doing them or me any good as they didn't appear to be listening to me, but I have never told anyone, that I can remember, I told you so

feelinggood_2

Well, I picked up the phone, and she isn't in!

Bogof_Babe

Hi everyone, I saw this thread was revived the other day, but as I'm not really into the sponsor side of it I didn't feel able to contribute. Good to see you are okay Feely, and I hope motherhood is proving rewarding.

I'm still on the wagon (really must find out how many 'g's in that word), it will be 21 months tomorrow since my last drink. I might need a bit of encouragement shortly though, as we're off for a fly/cruise holiday at the end of August, and I expect there will be lots of temptation around. Tbh I am pretty sure I can handle it, because fuzzying my mind seems totally alien to me now.

Keep strong folks, it's good to have eachother for encouragement isn't it? :T

feelinggood_2

Well done on 21 months Bogof_Babe, that is a real achievement! I hope you enjoy your holiday, what sort of places are you going?

I don't ever want to be 'out of it' again really, thinking back I don't know how I did it so often. I'm suprised I didn't end up dead in the gutter, in a burnt out house, in hospital or something else. My mind was very fuzzy!

Just noticed your location, I lived in a town called Bromyard near Hereford when I was a kid.

Bogof_Babe

Good heavens that's a coincidence, Bromyard is just up the road (well about 12 miles I should think). Give me a shout if you ever get back over this way.

We fly to New York, spend three nights there, then get on a ship to Bermuda for a week , then it sails back to NY and we fly home. I'm quite excited, but a bit apprehensive about the flying. Looking forward to seeing New York at long last, something we've always wanted to do before we get too decrepit.

You know, remembering the bad bits of our "other life" is what helps us to stay on the straight and narrow, isn't it? I also remind myself what a dreadful waste of money boozing was, and also knowing I won't wake up with a hangover ever again is enough of an incentive in itself!

lewt

feelinggood wrote: »

I don't have that much time to post, or that much time to feel sorry for myself - that is why I've not posted much!

I'm feeling sheepish about the length of time its been since I've spoke to my sponsor (former sponsor by now I suppose). Any tips on how to pick up the phone after a long time?

take the bit in the teeth and just do it if you were the sponser i'm sure you woudl be delighted to hear all was well after a period of non contact??

feelinggood_2

lewt wrote: »

take the bit in the teeth and just do it if you were the sponser i'm sure you woudl be delighted to hear all was well after a period of non contact??

I did get in touch. She is very busy and not that active in AA so I am sponsorless!

Hoping OH is going to watch the baby so I can get to (half) a meeting tonight.

brodev

I am pleased for you feelie that you did get in touch even if the outcome wasn't that great. At least now you won't have that guilty feeling. I am back in Portugal for a couple of weeks before I go into hospital for some major surgery. .I am a bit apprehensive but the holiday is doing me good. I hope that everybody keeps well

Bogof_Babe

Hi everyone, good to see this thread revived yet again! Sorry to hear you are unsupported atm Feely - I hope you managed to get to the meeting and got some encouragement there.

Brodev that sounds worrying, about the major surgery. Of course I have no idea what is wrong, but I offer my very best wishes that it goes well and doesn't keep you laid up for too long.

We got back from our holiday on Monday morning and I am pleased to report that I wasn't even tempted :A. On the cruise ship I discovered a gorgeous non-alcoholic pina colada, which was probably highly calorific but yummy. In New York I drank loads of orange juice, and re-discovered having tea during the day instead of just first thing on waking up.

Came back with a rotten cold but it didn't start until departure day so it didn't spoil the holiday. Back to the old routine now I guess...

LoopyLinz

Well I guess the title probably says it all. My mums only sister is an alcoholic. Up until 2 years ago she had a fantastic job and everything going for her, two wonderful kids (well they are 13 and 16) a great family and then she started drinking and in the past two years it has been a slippery slope.

She has broken promises so many time to stop drinking, she has let herself go and her relationship with her kids is pretty non existant. Two weeks ago she landed herself in hospital through her drinking and has jaundice, liver damage and an attitude that I could slap right out of her. I know that sounds horrible but she is tearing my family apart. My sister hadnt spoken to her in over a year (which in itself created a horrible atmosphere) however she held out the olive branch so to speak and went to visit her in hospital. When she tried to explain to my auntie the reasons she hadnt wanted to be in contact with her my auntie told her not to worry that it was all forgotten and she didnt hold any grudges!!! She seems to think the world owes her something and has everyone running around after her. When she was admitted to hospital I went to her house to see my cousins and was horrified at what greeted me. It was disgusting, dirty, their spare bedroom was full of dirty clothes, the curtains were handing off the rails. I spent hours getting it back to some sort of home and I know that as soon as she gets out of hospital it will end up right back the way it was cause she knows someone wil come along and pick up the pieces.

She literally is tearing my family apart. My Nannie and Granda are in their 70's and this is breaking their hearts, they have done everything they can for her and she just keeps throwing it back in their faces. They have paid for her to see a councellor, they have helped her practically and financially. My mum and dad (despite not being well off) have bought my cousins school uniforms, clothes, grocerys) I should probably point out that her husband is still at home but to be honest is pretty useless. He still drinks (all be it socially.......though I wouldnt exactly call it that) I do believe that although they live in the same house they more or less lead separate lives.

I know this post sounds harsh and very unsympathetic, I know that alcoholism is an illness but I honestly dont think she will stop until she has pulled our family apart and put my nannie and granda in an early grave.

I am a mess, Im sat at my desk crying my eyes out (thankfully there is no one else here) and I am taking my nannie to see her tonight, the very thought of seeing her lying there with her smug little attitude scares me because Im not sure how much longer I will be able to bite my tongue for.

Has anyone been in this position and can offer any advice as to how we deal with this?

Thanks
Linz xox