New Alcohol self help

brodev

Hi all, nice to see some activity. I see that there are some congratulations due especially to you Feely on your new arrival. I have been wondering how everybody was doing.
I am leaving Portugal in 2 days so I shall be home, hopefully, by Saturday. I'll check back on here again then.

Bogof_Babe

As soon as I'd logged off last night I thought damn I should have asked if anyone had heard whether Feely has had her baby. I'm so thrilled to hear that you have, and all is well. Is there an announcement somewhere else on the site? I don't even know what you had. More details please, sex, name, weight, how you're feeling etc......

Or just a link if there is already a thread. Normally I'd put a "beer" smiley here, but in the circs I'll use this one! :T

feelinggood_2

I've not really made an annoucement. Most real life people don't know I've had him either! I don't really like talking about it for some reason.

Details: Baby boy named Toby born on 15th April, weighed 7lb 7oz. He was induced a few days early as I developed pre-eclampsia. Rather traumatic labour, but we got through it unscathed, although I don't think OH will recover from thinking he was losing both of us. Managed to persuade them to let me home after 24 hours, and we tackled his jaundice at home.

Half way through day two I started feeling weepy, and it got worse and worse. Because of my history of depression, I went back to doctor who put me back on anti-depressants. Panic attacks started again, and I broke down and told OH I couldn't do it. Went to stay with my parents who've helped greatly. Hoping to go home next weekend.

He is a great baby, but I've felt worse than I've felt for a long, long time. Pregnancy hormones were brilliant, but now they've gone I'm back to where I was before, with the added guilt and shame of being low while having a wonderful baby.

Bogof_Babe

Oh you poor thing, I totally sympathise, although I have never had a baby myself so can't offer much in the way of practical advice.

I gather it is far from unusual to feel low and weepy after your body has been through such a traumatic event. I'm glad you have your parents to help out, and it sounds like your partner (sorry, don't know if you are married) is doing the best he can too.

I'm sure things will get back to normal quite soon, and I wish you a lot of fun and happiness in bringing up your gorgeous little boy. I love his name too. I hope he allows you time to pop in here occasionally with progress reports, as we'd love to be his cyber aunties and uncles!

brodev

Hi Feely, being a man I know absolutely nothing about hormones and babies and stuff. What I do know, however, is that you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty and ashamed about. My daughter also had pre-eclampsia and HELP syndrome. She was very ill and so were you. my grandson recently had his 2nd birthday and they are both well and happy but recovery took it's time.
One of the side effects of recovery from alcoholism is a tendancy for some people to beat themselves up because they are not the perfect person that they expect themselves to be. I am like that. I don't need hormones to be like that. I now recognise that I am like this and when I feel bad about myself I talk to people I trust and I have learned to trust their judgement rather than my own. It doesn't make things 100% but it does improve my feelings and I begin to have some doubt about my feelings of inadequacy. Over time this happens less and less and most of the time I am free of this ,but, every now and then it comes back.
Keep well and If you don't mind I'll remember you and Toby in my prayers.

habibi_2

What has happened to everyone?

I remember not so long ago some people returned to this thread after a long absence and posted that they were not happy with some of the comments made. Where have they gone again?

brodev

I still lurk here

feelinggood_2

I don't have that much time to post, or that much time to feel sorry for myself - that is why I've not posted much!

I'm feeling sheepish about the length of time its been since I've spoke to my sponsor (former sponsor by now I suppose). Any tips on how to pick up the phone after a long time?

brodev

Feelie the simple answer is to put out your hand and lift it up.:D. It is one of these things that the longer it goes the more difficult it becomes but I am sure that she would be delighted to hear from you. It is a big thing in your mind but probably not in her's. I have been in your sponsor's shoes and I was pleased when my sponsee phoned me after a while.

feelinggood_2

I'm just feeling quite conflicted. I was in a bad place last time I spoke to her, and I don't really want the 'I told you so' speech. I'm also wondering about the nessecity of it. I don't know if it is denial, but I don't feel I 'need' it. Its been about 6 months since my last meeting, or proper chat with an AA'er. Perhaps I was too hasty jumping on the Alcoholic bandwangon.