Any Abuse Survivors on Here? Help Required Please

[Deleted User]

You are showing such courage and clear sightedness. I wish I could give you a hug. Well done. x x

bluelass

When I do report him a friend mentioned the fact that I didn't want him to give me away at my wedding will help the case too. She says any girl would want their father at their side and me not wanting him will make the police more aware of what I went through. NAPAC have told me to think through key events and put them to paper as it will probably be a specially trained investigator who will go through my report with me and this will help enormously. Thank you again to the poster who recommended NAPAC.

dragonette

You seem to be doing amazingly well, I wish I had your courage! Well done, sending lots of hugs and positive vibes as you deserve every single one of them xxx

sassyblue

Just posting to say well done bluelass and I'm wishing you the very best. One thing to remember is that although the police keep an open mind they will get the gist of your fathers personality by interviewing him and seeing your mum and brother at some point, they aren't stupid.

Good for you making that scum b*stard face what he's done, the tables have turned now YOU hold all the power and he's clearly terrified.

bluelass

sassyblue wrote: »

Just posting to say well done bluelass and I'm wishing you the very best. One thing to remember is that although the police keep an open mind they will get the gist of your fathers personality by interviewing him and seeing your mum and brother at some point, they aren't stupid.

Good for you making that scum b*stard face what he's done, the tables have turned now YOU hold all the power and he's clearly terrified.

Oh I know only too well he will prep my mum and brother on what to say in readiness.

[Deleted User]

The police will usually be able to deal with this. The thing with abusers., is they are often very arrogant and don't absorb that other people can be more determined and clear sighted than them.., and this doesn't serve them well when investigated. The worse his behaviour right now, the more you are getting to him. Its not a lot of consolation., but it might help.

bluelass

Can anyone who has been through this give me any advice or tell me what I should expect when I do report it please.

bluelass

My mum passed away last Friday (the 8th) and my so called dad phoned me 2 hours after she died to tell me. I am utterly devastated, yesterday my mums oldest sister phoned me to say the cause of death was a DVT. Bearing in mind he is playing the bereft widower does anyone think I should contact the coroner or police to inform them of previous things he did to her. I do know she didn't go out very often and no doubt lack of activity caused the clot to happen. Im not looking for sympathy my only concern is for my mum who I dearly hope is now at peace with those she loved and who loved her. The last time I saw her in person was boxing day because of him.

*Robin*

Sorry for your loss, Bluelass. Be kind to yourself while you decide what to do (or not do). Maybe reaching out to your brother would help you both move forward?

Dizzy_Ditzy

I'm sorry for your loss x

Having read your story, I would get reporting now. I know you previously didn't because you were protecting your mum, but you don't have to now. She's free of him :A

The fact that your brother attempted to take his life suggests that he knows this isn't right. If you get the reporting ball rolling, he may well join forces with you.

I wish you all the best in whichever direction you wish to take