Any Abuse Survivors on Here? Help Required Please

bluelass

yesterday evening I phoned their house to speak to my brother he told me my so called dad is considering taking action before I have a chance to make a report. He is planning to contact MIND and tell them im loopy and that he thinks I may well be getting ready to make a report of false historic abuse and he is using the I will lose my home and savings trick again. He has obviously been planning for the day I come forward and will do anything to discredit me or even try to get me sectioned so my words wont be taken seriously he is really hateful of me.

[Deleted User]

Shows he's scared. I suspect MIND will give him a nasty suprise. Not that MIND could do anything anyway. If he reports it to the police, what could possibly happen? Any investigation of his allegations will lead to investigations of HIM. He won't want that.

I doubt he will phone MIND, he is just making himself feel unrealistically powerful. And probably hoping his brother will tell you of this threat.

Let him report his 'fears' to anyone he wants to. He won't, because he knows it will lead to no trouble for you, and lots for him.

shop-to-drop

My brother is doing the same seems to be a usual pattern of behaviour for an abuser.

bunty109

bluelass wrote: »

yesterday evening I phoned their house to speak to my brother he told me my so called dad is considering taking action before I have a chance to make a report. He is planning to contact MIND and tell them im loopy and that he thinks I may well be getting ready to make a report of false historic abuse and he is using the I will lose my home and savings trick again. He has obviously been planning for the day I come forward and will do anything to discredit me or even try to get me sectioned so my words wont be taken seriously he is really hateful of me.

I don't think he sounds like he has a plan: you've rattled him and he's scared. Think about it: going to MIND to get you sectioned? They are a charity to help people with mental health issues, not go around getting people sectioned for "false" abuse claims.

Please think about calling one of the organisations recommended to you because I am sure they'll have experience of just this type of behavior from abusers. Stay strong x

Armchair23

May I suggest you contact

http://www.oneinfour.org.uk/

If you have suffered sexual abuse, I'm sorry if it's not relevant in your case but they are a great organisation and good to know of it might be of use.

bluelass

Does anyone know if there are any historic abuse organisations or sites on the net? Then I can take advice and speak my mind then I can decided how to procede.

dragonette

Maybe try http://napac.org.uk/, its for all kinds of childhood abuse

dancingfairy

It sounds like he is getting very scared and is using every tactic in the book to stop you reporting him. Please don't believe all the rubbish coming from him
Also your mother and brother may be very reluctant to speak up or support you as they are living with him. Sadly it is often easier to cover things up/go along with it rather than standing up to the abuser.
I hope you can get some support.
df

bluelass

Today is my mothers 61 birthday. I cant help but feel bitterness towards her though. She is held in his grip from the age of 17 but I always think why did she have to stay with him and left him whilst she and me and my bro were still young and made a new life. I hate him so much I have been having thoughts which other people have been abused will have had but I don't want to be the one who ends up getting a custodial sentence that should be HIM who does not me.

Gigglepig

You have no done anything wrong, so you would not get a sentence.
I understand your anger and frustration with your mother, and while I don't mean to excuse her, the dynamics of abuse makes it very hard for some people to leave their abusers. 17 was also awfully young and she might or might not be a vulnerable adult. Some very tough, well educated professional women who earn good money find it hard to walk away from an abusive husband - I can imagine it being very difficult for a young mother with two small children. But it is still ok to be angry - she was the responsible adult, and let you down by not leaving him.