Any Abuse Survivors on Here? Help Required Please

Mojisola

bluelass wrote: »

Im notaying for hypnotherapy im a NHS patient, the therapist was recommended by my neurologist (I have epilepsy) as she knew my increasedfits were being caused by distress I was fast tracked to see the therapist and he wants to see if he can get me to remember early childhood events. The therapist says its possible I could remember events from 4 years old if successful I told him my so called dad was a cu** and he guessed right away after I said that.

I can understand using hypnotherapy to deal with how you feel now and to reduce anxiety, etc.

If you think you may want to take the case to the police, your position will be undermined if you are using 'memories' recovered under hypnosis.

bluelass

Actually since I had my first meet with the therapist (over 2 hours) I have had flashbacks of events. My mum had a miscarriage when I was almost five years old the baby was a female I would have had a sister. I am certain he had something to do with it I recall my mum crying in the hallway we lived in a groundfloor cottage flat then (council) and she was crying in pain he only took her to the hospital the next day I was dropped off at my grandparents first. He even denied his pregnant wife immediate medical attention and im pretty certain my mum would have been at least 6 months gone at the time as I remember her having a large bump. He told me yesterday in front of my hubby ( after I mentioned the therapist) if someone reports historic abuse they will go to prison for a long time. His way of telling me he will get the upper hand if I go public. He will put on the act of his life if and when he gets nicked and my god will he act if it got to crown court he has had all these years to come up with it after all.

theoretica

bluelass wrote: »

(I cant call him dad it pains me to have to call him that)

You don't need to. I know someone who has referred to her sperm donor/provider instead.

bluelass

Mojisola wrote: »

I can understand using hypnotherapy to deal with how you feel now and to reduce anxiety, etc.

If you think you may want to take the case to the police, your position will be undermined if you are using 'memories' recovered under hypnosis.

The therapist said many abuse victims have been helped with prosecution evidence after such means. They take notes and he said it can help the prosecution (if I decide to report and it goes to court) as evidence.

Mojisola

bluelass wrote: »

He told me yesterday in front of my hubby ( after I mentioned the therapist) if someone reports historic abuse they will go to prison for a long time.

Outright lie!

He will put on the act of his life if and when he gets nicked and my god will he act if it got to crown court he has had all these years to come up with it after all.

And don't you think the police and solicitors haven't seen all that before?

If you would like to take it to court, stick with what you do actually remember - don't give his legal team the chance to discredit you by saying your evidence has been tainted by false memory syndrome.

Keep away from him - it's not wise to keep visiting if you are considering legal action.

bluelass

Mojisola wrote: »

And don't you think the police and solicitors haven't seen all that before?

If you would like to take it to court, stick with what you do actually remember - don't give his legal team the chance to discredit you by saying your evidence has been tainted by false memory syndrome.

Keep away from him - it's not wise to keep visiting if you are considering legal action.

Mojisola I hate him. but my mum and brother have to live with him and its the only way I get to see them and its not often.

Floxxie

Bluelass, you need to try and meet them outside the house. I understand what you are trying to do as I have done it myself. It took me until I was 40 to finally understand exactly what had happened and continued to happen. Hypnotherapy was the saviour for me: it brought back the missing links to my thoughts.

Get yourself strong enough to deal with the situation.

rogueylawyer

Floxxie wrote: »

Bluelass, you need to try and meet them outside the house. I understand what you are trying to do as I have done it myself. It took me until I was 40 to finally understand exactly what had happened and continued to happen. Hypnotherapy was the saviour for me: it brought back the missing links to my thoughts.

Get yourself strong enough to deal with the situation.

This, exactly this.
Arrange to meet them at a local supermarket cafe if necessary. If he won't allow them out of the house without him - well that says a lot about his controlling/abusive behaviour.

Focus on you. Your mum and brother will, with hindsight, understand if you distance yourself from them for a time. Remember that you have your partner, your friends, and support on here to keep you strong if you need it, and loving family will always come back to you in the end.

bluelass

rogueylawyer wrote: »

This, exactly this.
Arrange to meet them at a local supermarket cafe if necessary. If he won't allow them out of the house without him - well that says a lot about his controlling/abusive behaviour.

Focus on you. Your mum and brother will, with hindsight, understand if you distance yourself from them for a time. Remember that you have your partner, your friends, and support on here to keep you strong if you need it, and loving family will always come back to you in the end.

He wont let them out without him there. My mum has a form of dementia now and is a vunerable adult.

mum2one

Mojisola wrote: »

And don't you think the police and solicitors haven't seen all that before?

If you would like to take it to court, stick with what you do actually remember - don't give his legal team the chance to discredit you by saying your evidence has been tainted by false memory syndrome.

Keep away from him - it's not wise to keep visiting if you are considering legal action.

I agree go with the facts that you have now, your need to stay away from your dad, im guessing the police won't rush and arrest him straight after you have spoke, there investigate, it could well be others will come forward and there may be people who already have come forward.

I had a difficult relationship with my daughters father, I can't refer to him as dad, daddy, father it's either sperm donor, it or a couple choice works, not incidently in front of my daughter then I refer to him by name