Frugal Frump to Fab - 2015

indiepanda

Thanks Rummer, VJsmum, LL, Maman and Shandyclover for the supportive comments.

I've started telling friends about the break up now. Ended up putting it on Facebook to get it over and done with - but chose what I felt was quite a positive way to do it. I've signed up for another 10k race at the end of January to get me back into regular running and posted a link to my fundraising page, introducing it as a project for a newly single girl to focus on and keep up the good work started over the summer.

Was really touched that a guy I knew in the first year at university, haven't seen since (and that's well over 20 years ago) but have chatted to on Facebook in recent years was the first to not just like the post but actually donate to my page - and a very generous £30 too.

Went to the gym at lunchtime to finish going through a program with one of the instructors. Its massively high intensity... started with 100 jumping jacks and had then 90 step ups, 80 of the next exercise etc, down to 10 burpees and back through to 100 high knees. My legs were trembling and I could barely speak during it. Although interestingly it didn't seem to make my heart rate go any higher than when I run according to my fitbit. Think that was because we took a few seconds between exercises and my legs were so wobbly after a while I couldn't keep the pace up. Will be interesting to see how badly my legs hurt in the morning...

I bumped into a friend in town yesterday that I'd been meaning to get in touch with for ages, and she emailed today to arrange getting together. She's invited me to visit her holiday cottage with her the weekend after this one, which will be great fun. That now means my weekends are pretty much full for the month. One Sunday I don't have plans at the moment, but I am out for a friend's birthday in central London on the Saturday night, and the last time we've gone out in central London I've got home at 3 or 4 in the morning, so I reckon a good lie in will be in order for that day!

Just got to make sure all the social plans don't completly derail any fabbing efforts. Mind you with two hiking weekends (where I never drink much as hangovers and hiking don't mix) and a weekend with a friend who doesn't drink, it's only the one with two birthdays that is going to be really unhealthy, and at least I'll get the chance to make myself look fab whilst doing it. I am getting my hair done that weekend which always makes me feel ultra glam. Have to take some photos while I am fresh from the salon for when I am ready to venture back into the wild world of internet dating sometime next year.

Shandyclover, well done on the distinction and good luck with the new tutor. I have to say I am always very impressed when people manage to juggle family life and study. I had to do some professional exams when I was first at work and I can't imagine having to manage family responsibilities at the same time, it was hard enough juggling work, study and social life (I was single most of the time)

indiepanda

maman wrote: »

Glad you had a good night's sleep indie. Interesting what you said about 'overly tolerant of failings' I'd never thought about it like that. When you think about it, at the extreme end, there are women who even put up with domestic violence as they just can't see themselves without a man:(.

Yes, fortunately I never had to put up with that much. He was a bit of a selfish old bachelor, but he would never raise his hand to a women, didn't really raise his voice to me either. But I can definitely see similar patterns - the telling yourself to hang in there he might get better over time (because that's so likely when your tolerance suggests his behavior is acceptable...), that if you love him enough he might behave more loving to you...

I am certainly capable of being without a man (the professional exams led to a job that is relatively secure and paid well enough I can pay a mortgage without needing a partner to split the costs with, and I am quite independent), but a good relationship beats being single. A bad one definitely does not. The issue is working out what is "good enough" - recognising no one is going to be perfectly compatible. I don't want to become one of those high maintenance types who rejects perfectly decent men over silly little things either.

indiepanda

lessonlearned wrote: »

had a dreadful night last - just couldn't sleep and ended up.in tears, just thinking about those dreadful last few years of my husbands life when he was in the nursing home.

Could I have done more. Am I doing the right thing having this extravagant holiday. My head says yes but in my heart I do feel quite guilty. Daft I know.

I know he would be happy for me but golly this widowhood thing is not easy.

Really hope sleep comes easier to you tonight.

Everything I've heard from your posts tells me are such a lovely caring person that there's no way you can have done anything to feel guilty about. Of course, logic doesn't usually apply in the middle of the night... it's always the time I have my bleakest thoughts - no one around to distract me from the mental chatter in my mind or point out the irrational nature of my anxieties.

Have an amazing holiday, looking forward to hearing all about it. x

maman

indiepanda wrote: »

a good relationship beats being single. A bad one definitely does not. The issue is working out what is "good enough" - recognising no one is going to be perfectly compatible. I don't want to become one of those high maintenance types who rejects perfectly decent men over silly little things either.

Very wise words indie. I'm full of admiration that you've signed up for the 10K, what a great focus. You must keep up with the fabbing with so many social occasions going on too.

lessonlearned wrote: »

Could I have done more. Am I doing the right thing having this extravagant holiday. My head says yes but in my heart I do feel quite guilty. Daft I know.

I'm glad you know it's absolutely daft!! You ARE doing the right thing. You definitely couldn't have done more. You both need and deserve a break after all you've been through in the last few years with your DH, your mum, your dad and supporting your boys with their new homes. It's hugely sad that your DH won't be gong along with you in person but he'll be with you in spirit. Have fun!


Good chazza bargains. You seem to have got quite a wardrobe together for your cruise.


My feet are feeling great after my treatment, well worth the money. I did have a bit of a browse in the shops but nothing grabbed my attention. Might have another look on another day.

indiepanda

maman wrote: »

Very wise words indie. I'm full of admiration that you've signed up for the 10K, what a great focus. You must keep up with the fabbing with so many social occasions going on too.

Yes, I have an excuse to dress up a bit on my hiking weekends too - fleeces and waterproofs might be order of the day but we do smarten up for the evening. Usually more jeans and nice tops / make up / jewellery than dresses, although I have been known to wear a casual dress.

I need to iron my new cashmere blend knitwear, think this weekend will be a good chance to start using. (This is more of an event than it sounds - I haven't used an iron for years, but my ironing lady is away this week. Very lazy I know, I've told myself I'd rather use my spare time to do something healthy, but I definitely spend enough of it randomly idling hours away on internet searches or watching rubbish TV that I could iron most weeks!)

Had a facial on Monday and for a change instead of the therapist telling me my skin was dehydrated, she said the hydration was good. Am wondering which things I've used that have made the difference - perhaps it's the Emma Hardie mask I've used a few times lately. Or the Balance Me radiance oil I used every morning, hadn't used that for long when I last went for a facial. Might even be the Elemis pro collagen marine cream I got free at a magazine event I went to.

Anyway, my skin often suffers in the winter months so will have to keep on pampering myself to keep it fresh and youthful. I know it's a bit vain, but I do love the fact most people guess I am much younger than I am, and I really don't want that to change when I lose weight.

maman

Smart casual seems to be almost the norm these days indie, so worth having suitable things. Cashmere knitwear would be great for evenings after hiking and I always feel better for a shower and a change of clothes anyway. I find when we do city breaks that nice tops are an essential. I might still want to wear flats/boots and trousers/jeans as we'll be walking to a restaurant but when you get inside it's good to have a nice top with them. Then I look good sitting at the table even if waist down isn't that glamorous!;)


Sounds like you've been trying really hard with moisturising and something's paying off. While some creams suit some skins better than others I think it's just keeping up with a routine that matters most. I use moisturiser, eye cream and wrinkle cream every day. It's a mixture of Clinique and Aldi!!:rotfl:


Interestingly when I was apologising to podiatrist yesterday for not creaming feet as often as I'd like he said it's not so essential in the winter as feet stay more hydrated inside socks. I'm still going to make an effort though, even if it's to use up all the lotions and potions I've got!

chanie

Indie good luck with the 10K. It sounds like you have lots to look forward to.

Ellsbel

maman wrote: »

Good to see you ellsbel, do come back and post when you've got time.
.

Thanks maman - sorry I've been awol of late
shandy massive congrats on the distinction:) an OU degree is a big ambition of mine, and I so admire you for taking it on and sticking at it with everything else you've got on your plate.

I called in sick today - ordinarily I'd have gone in with what really amounts to the first signs of a cold/chest infection, but as I'm not allowed any leave during this "training" period and I really need a few days away from the place, I called in ill. The very fact that I had to go through a sort of third degree about it, despite the fact I won't get paid for it, sums up why I'm really not liking the place...scratch away all the gloss they offer at induction and it really is a place where its workers are treated like battery hens! Not to say I've not grown to like some of the people there - I have. But the rules and regs, and the work itself is soul sapping; I'm trying to stick out my probation period but in truth, I think I'll probably resign shortly after Christmas - I feel guilty about it though.
Not feeling very fab today but will book in a haircut next week and try to find some joy in the small things to give me a bit of a lift.
Happy Friday everyone x

chanie

shandy sorry forgot to say well done on your course.

ellsbel sorry to hear you aren't feeling well. I think if you aren't happy in the job you shouldn't stick around. I work in HE and so have to deal with unhappy staff and I do wonder why they stick it out when they work in one of the biggest cities in the world with infinite opportunities.

I'm having a lazy day with dd which is I really need. I did manage some blusher and lipstick when I took ds to school, which is no easy task as both children decided to play up this morning.

indiepanda

Ellsbel, hope you feel better soon and sorry to hear the job is proving to be soul sapping. We spend enough of our lives at work it's important to get some pleasure from the experience as well as money.

Day off today as am going away for the weekend and would have missed the meal at the hotel with my fellow hikers tonight if I left London after office hours.

I didn't get up especially promptly as we had team drinks last night and it was getting on for one am when I got home. Still, I went to my fitsteps class and walked the two miles there and half the way back (to go by public transport it's two buses).

Had a nice healthy lunch in my favourite local cafe (poached eggs with alfalfa sprouts and pumpkin seeds on soda bread with a side of avocado and some roasted cherry tomatoes). Now time to get packed for the weekend away and get washed and ready to go. Will put an exfoliating mask on and then afterwards a deep moisturising one while I am packing and put a deep conditioner on my hair at the same time - that's what they call multi-tasking right?

Have a good weekend all