Frugal Frump to Fab - 2015

lessonlearned

Just having five minutes.

Have been to the dentist today and then a huge supermarket shop, stocking up freezer and cupboards for DS2.

Also picked up some Christmas food goodies from Aldis because they probably will have sold out by the time I get back. Also some stocking filler gifts - I dont want to be running around like a headless chicken when I get back.

Have picked up my currency, hair appt tomorrow. Then a day out at MacArthur Glenn on Thursday for some last minute bits. Friday packing etc and then I'm off........phew.

Had a lovely time on Sunday, went to wagammas for eats - great food - and then to the cinema to see Spectre. Fab.

I'm not totally enamoured with Daniel Craig as Bond - Pierce Brosnan is my Bond, but Craig was on good form. The rest of the gang all shaping up well, especially Ralph Fiennes as the new M, although I do miss Judi Dench and Ben Wishart is wonderful as the new Q. I adore him, he looks like DS2..... Really nerdy.....:rotfl:

As for the cars - well 2 Aston Martins in one film is a real treat for a petrol head like me.

Apparently Damien Lewis (Homeland, Band of Brothers) is tipped for the next Bond - I think he would be cracking - easy on the eye too.....;)

Did anyone watch Nigella last night. She has lost weight and looks sensational. Mind you she is so beautiful she looks good even when she is a bit chubby.....

Speaking of Cars, hAve you ever noticed how many expensive prestige cars there are in Aldis car parks......just goes to show how trendy and upmarket Aldi has become.

Today I was drooling over the latest sporty Lexus in the car park - all bright red and shiny.

I can dream......

Time for a little rant......

Yesterday I went to TX Maxx - racks full of the most beautiful evening dresses - ALL FOR SKELETAL MIDGETS.......

What about some clothes for real women who have curves.......can't we have nice frocks too.

indiepanda

Hi everyone, big thanks for the supportive messages and virtual hugs.

I had a bit of a cry on my running buddy's shoulder this morning and then we went and did a 5.5k run with 64m of ascent, which wasn't easy, felt quite spaced out some of the time and would definitely not have done it without my friend encouraging me. Anyway, hopefully it will mean that between that and the limited sleep last night I should sleep like a log tonight.

Managed to get through the working day without crying in public, shed a little tear when telling one of the partners about it, but she's very sympathetic and was really supportive when I went through trouble with my ex. Well, the previous ex I mean. It doesn't seem right describing the recent boyfriend as the ex yet...

Though he definitely is the ex... we've just spoken on the phone and properly finished things. Oh well, at least it's done and I can start to get on with my life.

No more having to wait until I've checked when he is free to make plans with my friends for fear I won't see him for a month, no more spending time planning out days out for us without him ever making the effort to do so back, no more buying rock compilations to listen to in the car because he doesn't care for my music much. The more I think about it, the more different compromises I can see I made, without him making very much back.

Ellsbel

Big hugs indie
Here's to new beginnings x

indiepanda

Thanks Ellsbel.

Got the call to my Dad to tell him about the ex over and done with. He means well but he doesn't always say the right thing. Turned admitting he had concerns about how the ex let me do most of the work in our relationship into a diatribe about how society has changed and no one is willing to take responsibility in relationships any more, women don't want children, no one bothers to get married. All very well, but he knows I don't want children (and even if I did, being 43 and single would make it very unlikely!) and have never been that worried about getting married as I am not religious. However, doesn't mean I am not capable of being committed to someone in a relationship.

Anyway, I slept the proverbial log last night so feel much more like myself today. Woke up thinking about the ex, but more in a relieved "and there's another thing I won't have to put up with" kind of way. I should probably make a list of those things so in moment of weakness where I think of changing my mind I can remind myself of them!

Don't get me wrong, I know I am not perfect, and I know no man I could meet is going to be perfect either.... but history tells me that once I've let my guard down and have fallen for someone, I tend to be overly tolerant of failings that emerge rather than admitting I made a mistake and deserve better. I need to be a bit more critical next time and recognise when the relationship tips to that point where somehow I am doing the clear majority of the giving and not getting much back.

Going back to the gym this lunchtime to get the instructor to finish showing me my program, so I expect I will sleep well tonight too. Then I have a busy day tomorrow - long team meeting and then night out with the team.

Off work on Friday so will get to do my Fitsteps class and pootle on down to Winchester after lunch and before the rush hour kicks in. Bit of a shame I have taken the ex to Winchester before so I have memories of being there with him, but I lived nearby for a number of years and used to visit a lot by myself so I am hoping my memories from those times will crowd out any thoughts of him. In any case, once I meet up with my hiking buddies in the evening I will be distracted from all that.

shandyclover

Hi ladies,

Sorry for going AWOL, life has been a bit of a whirlwind. Hubby is in China on a business trip, uni course hours have gone up and work keeps asking me to do more hours. My mum also continues to need a fair amount of attention as she recovers, I do also have 2 children still at home, a lodger and DD's bf who spends most of his time at ours, all need looking after to some extent. Since I have been working till 8:30 most nights I have taken to cooking chillis and stews and leaving instructions for them to be finished off or heated up.

I have managed to fit in some pampering but gym attendance has been woeful and diet is all over the shop as I am eating at all odd hours. Must get back to my 5:2 which does work for me.

Work is proving to be a bit of a challenge now. A few people left and you can see the internal readjustments and politics. One 19 yo has suddenly become very bossy and assertive and plain rude - as well as nauseatingly bubbly and chatty whenever the big boss is around, I think she has her sites on a promotion. She keeps trying to tell me what to do and I am trying to figure out how to handle it without a full on confrontation. I am generally a polite and approachable, and have no problems working in a team or accepting instructions from someone younger than me, but it seems some people believe that means I am a doormat.

I got the results from last years OU module - distinction! woo hoo! Then was rapidly brought back down to earth when I also got the results for the first assignment of this year - my lowest grade ever! yikes! I obviously need to dedicate more time. I have also changed tutor, this new one I confess half of his instructions I don't understand.

Indiepanda my thoughts are with you. Calling time on a relationship that is going nowhere is painful but I admire your courage. I have seen so many friends and a few relatives trapped in relationships that really do nothing for them. It is not a way to live. Your heart and soul deserve to be free.

LessonLearned I think the reason TKMaxx has so many 'skeleton' sizes is cause it is stock that has not sold in other shops - proving most of us are not that size! My oldest DD is a ballet teacher and a very lithe size 6/4. She cannot find gym wear her size anywhere, but they always have masses in TKMaxx. Other DD is a bra size 30DD and always manages to find her bras in TKMaxx. I think they just deal in odd sizes!

maman

Congratulations on your OU distinction shandy.:T That's a massive achievement and you mustn't lose sight of it amongst all the busyness going on.


You seem to have worked out a way of coping with feeding the family but don't be afraid to rope them in for some extra household chores if you want to. Even the BF could do his bit if he's around most of the time.


There's been a lot of bad press about the poor standard of teaching in universities and I remember it well myself. Obviously you need time to devote to your next assignment but do push the tutor for better explanations too. He's there to help you.


In the workplace I think I'd work out a spiel to address to the 19 year old when she's next getting above herself. There's no reason for bossiness and rudeness is unacceptable. I'd be reminding her that you work as a team in your workplace with everyone contributing and while her ideas are welcome her telling you what to do is not. All members of the team should be treated with respect and courtesy and you find some of her comments just plain rude. Then I'd add a little 'threat' in that you wouldn't want to have to bring it to big boss's attention that she wasn't coping very well with recent changes and couldn't work well as a team player. Sorry, I'm drifting off into how I'd deal with it:o.HTH.


Glad you had a good night's sleep indie. Interesting what you said about 'overly tolerant of failings' I'd never thought about it like that. When you think about it, at the extreme end, there are women who even put up with domestic violence as they just can't see themselves without a man:(.


Good to see you ellsbel, do come back and post when you've got time.


I expect you're counting days, even hours LL. How exciting!:j


On fabbing front, I've made a chiropody appointment for this afternoon. Nothing really wrong just find they do a better job than pedicure even if more expensive. While I'm in the city centre I might browse a bit for things on my winter list.

lessonlearned

Hello everyone

Indie - glad to hear you've slept well - that's half the battle. And you have got some good plans for the next few days. Hang in there you kniw you've done the right thing and it will get easier in time.

sHandy - congrats on your distinction, well done you. Echo everything Maman has said. Maybe it's time to just get a little firmer with everyone, tutor, young work colleague, your family etc. You are only one woman, you can't take on the world........

Had my hair cut, the hairdresser told me there no point in spending money on colouring any more, the last bit of grey has gone and it's now pure white.

She's says it's lovely just as it is and that the white is so vibrant any colour wouldn't last five minutes.

I pulled a face and she laughed saying youngsters were paying good money to have their hair my colour and yet here's me mourning my lost red hair....... Anyway I bought some of that special treatment shampoo for white hair, to make sure there are no yellow tinges.

If I can't beat going white, I may as well embrace it.

I think it must have been "old ladies day" because there were a lot of women of a certain age, many of them quite old. It was interesting to see all the different greys/whites etc. I suppose she is right at least mine is an even colour now and not that difficult pepper and salt in between stage.

Had a Couple of lucky finds today in the Chazzers - two glitzy evening dresses and a sparkly top. £14 for all three.

had a dreadful night last - just couldn't sleep and ended up.in tears, just thinking about those dreadful last few years of my husbands life when he was in the nursing home.

Could I have done more. Am I doing the right thing having this extravagant holiday. My head says yes but in my heart I do feel quite guilty. Daft I know.

I know he would be happy for me but golly this widowhood thing is not easy.

VJsmum

maman wrote: »

There's been a lot of bad press about the poor standard of teaching in universities and I remember it well myself.

As a university lecturer and therefore in our defence, the standard has been worse since the fees went sky high - largely because we now get less money than before and as a result have a lot more managerial / admin duties to fulfill.


Indie - sorry for your break up, sounds like you know it's the right thing but there is still a grieving process to go through.

i think i am mostly over the bronchitis - it's been nasty though and i still am a little lacking in energy. went to bed at 9.30 last night and slept till 6.30 :T - helping to get over last week's jetlag too.

I went to SiL's 50th, it was a good day. i wore white jeans, my "Audrey hepburn" black and white top and a black bolero style cardi, with black loafers. It did the trick

LL - you go and have your lovely holiday with your OH's blessing, i am sure. We always feel we could do more because that is human nature. I go through similar with mum - until I hear her telling me off for it I am 51, mum has been gone for 6 years and I still "hear" her telling me off - it's rather nice in a way.:)

Rummer

Hugs Indie Letting go of the wrong partner makes space in your heart and your life for the right one. It is hard when it is happening though.

Rummer

LL It is understandable that you are emotional at the moment however from what you have said of your husband it sounds as if he would be delighted to know that you are going on such a big adventure.