Coping with Xmas Day - help please

purpleshoes_2

Just saw this on the news

I almost went into Glasgow this afternoon to watch a film as thats where the nearest cineworld is to me, have walked along that street several times.

http://www.itv.com/news/story/2014-12-22/bin-lorry-crashes-into-pedestrians-in-glasgow-city-centre/

Pollycat

Jagraf wrote: »

Kids don't choose their parents either but it would be nice if they still thought about them. I don't choose my boss but I'm still grateful for a job. I don't choose my neighbours but I would still help them out.

I didn't many my husbands family either but they are my daughters aunties, uncles and grandparents.

Just because someone is family doesn't mean you have the perfect relationship with them.
Or even want the perfect relationship with them.

That may be how you feel about your family but don't assume that every other poster feels the same way about theirs.

Faith177

purpleshoes wrote: »

Just saw this on the news

I almost went into Glasgow this afternoon to watch a film as thats where the nearest cineworld is to me, have walked along that street several times.

http://www.itv.com/news/story/2014-12-22/bin-lorry-crashes-into-pedestrians-in-glasgow-city-centre/

Yeah I saw this so sad for the families and everyone involved

I had a minor panic my brother lives in Glasgow and is due to get the bus to Inverness today and always uses Queen St as a short cut through town and I couldn't get hold of him he finally texted back about 5 mins ago so can breath again now

thorsoak

Jagraf wrote: »

Kids don't choose their parents either but it would be nice if they still thought about them. I don't choose my boss but I'm still grateful for a job. I don't choose my neighbours but I would still help them out.

I didn't many my husbands family either but they are my daughters aunties, uncles and grandparents.

Don't forget, parents do not choose their offspring's partners either .....I've been so fortunate with my very dear dils and my dsil - but to me, they are extra daughters and son. But I accept that I am not their mother - iykwim! I also have two step-grandchildren - but to me, they are just the bonus grandchildren :-D

But I am the lucky one.

purpleshoes_2

Faith177 wrote: »

Yeah I saw this so sad for the families and everyone involved

I had a minor panic my brother lives in Glasgow and is due to get the bus to Inverness today and always uses Queen St as a short cut through town and I couldn't get hold of him he finally texted back about 5 mins ago so can breath again now

Im trying to get hold of mine just incase he was in Glasgow today, but hopefully he won't have been anywhere near. Hes a !!!!!! for not answering his phone, I'll feel a lot better when he gets back to me.

Faith177

purpleshoes wrote: »

Im trying to get hold of mine just incase he was in Glasgow today, but hopefully he won't have been anywhere near. Hes a !!!!!! for not answering his phone, I'll feel a lot better when he gets back to me.

Fingers crossed for you hun

Yeah mine is too I rang him several times and left voice mails, I text'd him and left him a msg on his fb wall just say text me now!! still took him an hour

TBagpuss

FatVonD wrote: »

Yup, unbelievable, isn't it? He also said he never wanted to be in my company again and demanded an apology from me.

I actually did ring and apologise to get it over and done with (the last time we fell out it involved a dozen emails and when I didn't reply to the last one he printed them all out and posted them to me so I could have a read and a recap and think about apologising to him and I wanted to nip it in the bud this time, be the bigger person and never see him again) and told DH I wasn't going round there ever again.

Unfortunately they had a big wedding anniversary coming up and DH said he wasn't going without me so I went to keep him happy. I've avoided going round other than big occasions since then but apparently noises are made about 'funny how Fatty always seem to have a migraine when she's coming here' etc. etc.

Wow. And your DH doesn't respond that you are not their because of the offensive way his family have treated you?

sleepymans

Hi DFlights
Basically, I would say (unjudgementally of course) that you are selfish.....sorry thats not a bad thing, I am selfish myself!

The truth is....YOU have every right to have the Christmas YOU want. You dont have to buy into your partner's or partner's parent's xmas fantasy!
Having said that, you DO have to live with the consequences of being "selfish"!

The choice is yours!

We adults have to make these hard decisions all the time!

Make your choice and live with the consequences.
Merry Christmas

Sleepy

Yolina

OP, I'll swap you you only have to put up with it for a day, every year at Xmas I have the parents over for 4 days, my mum is the same type as your MIL (minus the religious bit). Currently frantically going round scrubbing the flat, got told off for not properly dusting the skirting board behind the loo last time she was here :rotfl:

Lily-Rose_3

Although I am very sorry for people who have lost someone: I am not an advocate of saying 'suck it up, mine is so much worse because of this reason and that reason...' We have no parents to spend Christmas with as they have all passed, but I don't make people feel bad if they are moaning about their parents or in-laws.

Maybe some people would love to have the 'problem' that the OP has, and they think they're lucky to have parents to spend it with, but it's not fair to try and make out that their issue is trivial. The OP is clearly quite upset about this, and I would be too.

We actually hate going anywhere for Christmas and hate anyone coming to us. We used to go and see both sets of parents for a half hour or so each, but luckily, they lived within 3 miles of us, so we could be back for midday. Then the rest of the day (and the Christmas break) was ours.

I also don't think anyone is being selfish by wanting to have Christmas alone with just their partner (and kids if they have any.) The in-laws insisting that everyone does things THEIR way are the selfish ones imo.