School dilemma, results v care

notanewuser

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

I don't think there is anything wrong with putting some academic pressures on young children, where they are able of course.

Significant research suggests otherwise for the vast majority of children.

Andypandyboy

Who/what defines academic pressure? Children do thrive when they are stretched, but not pressured. It is a subtle, but important, distinction.

purpleshoes_2

Some kids who are pressured don't get over it in a long time. My mum is a teacher and shes spoken about kids in her classes who were pushed to the point of being nervous wrecks by their parents, kids who were 7 years old.

Happiness first, academia second as far as Im concerned. If that makes me sound like I dont think qualifications matter, they do, but not so much when you are 5 years of age.

CRANKY40

Octobergirl wrote: »

It's not the other children that gleefully tell tales about him CRANKY40, it's his 'friend's' mother!

Yes, I had that too. His friend used to tell his mother all sorts and it didn't matter how many times she then challenged him in front of my son and he admitted he had been lying, he still carried on. It's soul destroying. They don't do that at this new school either.

gettingtheresometime

The point about academic pressure is that its perhaps tolerable if everything else isn't pressurised but it sounds as if the lad is living constantly in a pressure cooker environment.

OP when you say he does silly things, do you mean that he does things of a typical 5 year old? could it be that because he acts older than his years 90% of the time, the 10% of the time that he acts like a 5 year old you 'forget' he is actually only 5?

Savvy_Sue

Octobergirl wrote: »

I shall make an appointment tomorrow. Not quite sure how to explain our point of view diplomatically.

Practice beforehand. But I'd decide whether you want to make the change, or whether you want to give the school another chance.

BTW, DS3's teacher wanted to describe him as 'immature' when he was in Reception. My response was that if you can't be immature when you're four, when can you be? I also pointed out that there were times when he would be extremely mature and sensible. We settled on 'inconsistent'. But actually, I don't think that's unreasonable at that age. And in your son's situation, it seems entirely reasonable.

Seanymph

They are in education a long long time - and this is their childhood. Ultimately whether they get a 2a or 2c aged 6 will not matter a jot.

Happiness encourages learning.

He needs to be comfortable with his place in life however you achieve that, and the learning will take care of itself.

moomoomama27

In order for them to learn well they need to be happy. Moving schools is a big thing if they are settled, but it sounds like your son is not!

I would investigate with his teacher what is making him so unhappy, sometimes they say friends when really it's another issue ( home life/ stress/ anxiety), before a move establish this. Many schools have nurture suites and ELSAs that can really help a child. Also they may be able to help you get some respite so you can gave more 1-1 time with your son.

He is so early in his school career, although I'm shocked children enter the education system full time at 3!? That he needs to be secure.

notanewuser

moomoomama27 wrote: »

He is so early in his school career, although I'm shocked children enter the education system full time at 3!? That he needs to be secure.

There are 2 areas where it happens in Wales. However, the Foundation Phase here is around learning through play until the age of 7/year 2, so (in theory) there's no academic pushing.

susancs

Octobergirl wrote: »

I'm actually scared/nervous about discussing this with his head( we need her signature on the forms). You've highlighted to me that we haven't discussed things enough with school. I have mentioned how concerned we were about he has been doing socially/ emotionally during all his parent evenings, but from their point of view he was doing well.

I shall make an appointment tomorrow. Not quite sure how to explain our point of view diplomatically.

I always use the sandwich approach if I need to have a discussion that may be taken as criticism. Start off with good news, put the critical bit in the middle and end on a positive. I would start off by saying how nice his teachers are and positive about him, however you feel that the pressurised enviroment due to pushy parents may not be the best environment for him to thrive in due to the fact he has enough pressure in his homelife due to his siblings SEN and hence you are looking for a school with a high level of pastoral care and one that appears to have a more nuturing type of parents, rather than those who value academic success above other traits. You may indeed get a very sympathic ear, as no doubt these pushy parents are a bane of the teachers working day.