School dilemma, results v care

FBaby

I would move him without a doubt. Feeling 'at home' at school is going to be especially important if he has to accept that he can't get as much attention at home because of his sister's needs. Don't start feeling guilty about it though, kids grow up very happilly in large families when they also don't get so much attention from their parents. My two had to deal with a full-time working mum, and they too had to adapt and learn to be independent at an early age. What matters is that your son feels like you are listening to him and meeting his needs. That includes insuring he is happy at school.

If he is naturally independent minder, then I would thing a 'looser' school would actually suit him much better than a more structured one. As for the academic issue, it could have the opposite effect. My kids are both G&T and went to non academic minded primary schools, however, they got much attention from teachers because they did enjoy working them with. Pleasant and clever kids are fun to work with. I have been told many times by teachers that clever kids always do well wherever they go to if behaviour is not an issue.

Have you yet discussed it with your son and asked him what he thinks? I know he is too young to make the decision himself, but if he starts crying at the idea, you know that it might not be the best way forward, or on the opposite, he might jump for joy. Does he know any of the kids going at the other school (from clubs, neighbours etc..)

Octobergirl

F baby, I think he overheard us talking about it yesterday. He asked me if children can change schools. When I asked him if he would like to, he was delighted- a very definite yes, which I was surprised at. Ive told him it might not be possible and a very long process as I don't want his behaviour or work deteriorating.

theoretica

I would say don't worry about the academics for another few years. Children in some countries don't even start school until seven and do well.

northerntwo1

Octobergirl wrote: »

F baby, I think he overheard us talking about it yesterday. He asked me if children can change schools. When I asked him if he would like to, he was delighted- a very definite yes, which I was surprised at. Ive told him it might not be possible and a very long process as I don't want his behaviour or work deteriorating.

Did you tell your 5 year old your last few words or just think them.

peachyprice

Oh dear god, this child has far too much on his 5yo shoulders.

happyandcontented

I don't want to be insensitive here but perhaps looking at it another way might be the way forward. Could you get help with your other child in the form of respite care or paid for or volunteer help on a daily basis? That way he would have a more normal home life for a five year old. I am sorry, but to me having a five year old called a carer just seems wrong.

I would move him as well though given his reaction, he is obviously unhappy and at five that needs to be the priority.

balletshoes

Octobergirl wrote: »

F baby, I think he overheard us talking about it yesterday. He asked me if children can change schools. When I asked him if he would like to, he was delighted- a very definite yes, which I was surprised at. Ive told him it might not be possible and a very long process as I don't want his behaviour or work deteriorating.

that reaction from him would be my big green light - move him.

Bennifred

Children don't learn well when they are unhappy - I'd move him. Poor little chap

liney

Moving school will not help if the reason for his self esteem and therefore behavior issues stem from his homelife.

Surely at 5, he should have absolutely no responsibility as a carer for an even younger child.

pollypenny

It seems as if the little lad needs more parental attention.

He's only small himself and shouldn't have any load put on him for his sister.