My OH is in hospital in intensive care

victory

torbrex wrote: »

Victory - I hope that you and yours are well going into the New Year and that OH is making good progress with his recovery.

2014 will be a year that will always be the year that OH was hurt no matter what other events happened, 2015 will be the year to remember that he got better and although life will never be the same again, I wish you all well on your journey forward together.

Thank you, thank you everyone for your ongoing thoughts and support oh and happy new year:)

Update is not as great as would have hoped but here goes.. OH has not really improved, the doc changed his meds and left him practically on his knees with the agony, so I rang and rang again and the doc changed again and it got so bad he could not move at all, with that the nurse comes round and says to him that he should be moving and walking around 25 steps...OH was doing either none because of the pain or 10/12 at the most.

OH unbeknown to me got upset with himself that his progress was not as the nurse saw it and took it upon himself to push himself to make the 25 steps, he injured himself in doing so and emotions over took him, he had to be guided back to his seat and there he remained for the rest of the day, totally overwhelmed with pain.

The meds make him feel sick, he has anti sickness but even then cannot swallow much and is wasting away, he has powder food now.

The meds make him unable to go to the toilet which is causing pain on top of pain, more sachets to take.

OH has to ring his work on monday to see about a course he was on/his sick pay/ if they can send him some work and maybe do it from home? How? I have no idea but he is working himself up over it all because of the lack of progress.

It has been a month from the accident and he is stuck in this pain, lack of mobility catch 22.

Someone said to him that he was lucky and so and so that they knew had a RTA and this and that happened to them and he should appreciate things, that he was meant to have the RTA to make him appreciate etc and he got very emotional about all of that, people are precious sometimes.

It is looking like this month he will not be going back to work, the docs have now increased his estimate of recovery because of OH not taking 25 steps.

RuthnJasper

victory wrote: »

Thank you, thank you everyone for your ongoing thoughts and support oh and happy new year:)

Update is not as great as would have hoped but here goes.. OH has not really improved, the doc changed his meds and left him practically on his knees with the agony, so I rang and rang again and the doc changed again and it got so bad he could not move at all, with that the nurse comes round and says to him that he should be moving and walking around 25 steps...OH was doing either none because of the pain or 10/12 at the most.

OH unbeknown to me got upset with himself that his progress was not as the nurse saw it and took it upon himself to push himself to make the 25 steps, he injured himself in doing so and emotions over took him, he had to be guided back to his seat and there he remained for the rest of the day, totally overwhelmed with pain.

The meds make him feel sick, he has anti sickness but even then cannot swallow much and is wasting away, he has powder food now.

The meds make him unable to go to the toilet which is causing pain on top of pain, more sachets to take.

OH has to ring his work on monday to see about a course he was on/his sick pay/ if they can send him some work and maybe do it from home? How? I have no idea but he is working himself up over it all because of the lack of progress.

It has been a month from the accident and he is stuck in this pain, lack of mobility catch 22.

Someone said to him that he was lucky and so and so that they knew had a RTA and this and that happened to them and he should appreciate things, that he was meant to have the RTA to make him appreciate etc and he got very emotional about all of that, people are precious sometimes.

It is looking like this month he will not be going back to work, the docs have now increased his estimate of recovery because of OH not taking 25 steps.

A little bit at a time... it is always so very frustrating when progress is slow. He will get there.

All the best for 2015 Victory, for you and your family. You're doing amazingly, even if it doesn't always seem like it. x

Mojisola

victory wrote: »

Someone said to him that he was lucky and so and so that they knew had a RTA and this and that happened to them and he should appreciate things, that he was meant to have the RTA to make him appreciate etc and he got very emotional about all of that, people are precious sometimes.

Precious - completely stupid!

I'm not surprised your OH got upset!

I'm sorry things are still so difficult.

torbrex

I know you have said that he has difficulty swallowing but you might want to try the protien shakes that bodybuilders use, some of them are reasonably tasty these days and they certainly do help to bulk up with protien so may give him a bit more energy to help fight the pain as that is what will be causing him to waste away.

northerntwo1

Oh sweetie it's hard sometimes it's one step forward and 5 steps backwards literally and mentally. It's hard being in pain knowing you should push yourself but your body is too weak and lack of food and muscle wastage mean you can't get your body to work even on the rare occasions your mind wants to push. Work this month is very unlikely and IMO shouldn't be one of his targets, it's too early.

The good news is that he is walking so he's started his muscle build up. 25 steps may be too much but 13 is within limits. In some ways I found it easier long term as I have young children and husband had to return to work so they gave me the motivation to push through the pain as their lives were being disrupted. When I had someone else here I did less because I could. If I could post pictures I'd show you how muscle wastage can be. My leg was half the size of my better leg after months in plaster and none weight bearing, my wrist was limp after not being used. It's the same inside too- you can't see them though. If you could you'd know why they can't function.

My advice is this (if appropriate)

Work on muscles sitting down. Use tins of beans or lighter packets of soup to build arm and hand muscles. Watching TV do raises to build arm strength. Try to raise legs, toes, circle feet sitting down. This helps when you weightbear as they are stronger.

Use aids. Using a zimmer for most "walks" still builds muscles. It was 8 months before I could take a step without aids but I used all aids I could when recovering.

Diet - it's hard. Drugs bung you up which alone makes eating hard add pain, tiredness and for me a touch of depression it was the last thing I wanted. I juiced and got my 5 a day from juice. I researched those that helped the body heal and drank 1 juice a day to give my body what it needed. Happy to give recipies if this is of value. Helps with body functions too.

Mentally it's hard and frustrating. I found small goals worked. 10 soup tin lifts per hour, finishing a chapter of a book (you can't concentrate in pain, so that's an achievment) and I increaed my goals.

It's very hard physically and mentally but you do have to push - the thing is only he knows hid limits. Not you or the nurse. It's using goals to push without damage. If he can find his limits of pushing without damage then building on it then IME recovery is quicker.

The more I moved (even if just circling my wrist) the more my appetite and pain resistance increased. you feel pain more when you are not doing things.

Can you take him out in a wheelchair? Fresh air is tremendous at boosting you? Day by day he will improve but within his capability. Work this month isn't realistic and when you think you are letting yourself and others down I can't explain how much it crashes you. You feel a failure and demotivated. It's utterly soul destroying to think you should be able to and can't, if others think you should, it's like saying you should run 100m in 10 seconds because bolt can and being a failure because you can't. It's why small goals worked for me.

Good luck day by day he will get stronger but some days it will feel like a step back which is normal.

thorsoak

Victory, darling - your OH's recovery will take as long as it takes - no-one can say categorically that he "should" be doing this or that - because everybody's injuries/rate of recuperation are different. Take each day at a time - sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof!

My oh was prescribed the liquid "build-up" foods - but to be honest, they all tasted vile to him - and when I tasted them, I had to agree = they did. Try making him some soups - very easy and slip down more easily than food, and a little easier on an upset digestion. It's still very early days - the anelgesics and painkillers will also be reacting with digestion and elimination. Senoket might help with constipation if he cannot face eating fruit yet.

Don't forget - its not four weeks since you weren't even sure if he would survive - his body has really been through the wringer - and it could well be the spring before he feels more like himself. Keep strong, keep looking after yourself - if you are expected to hold things together, then you have to look after yourself. xxxx

harrys_nan

I sympathise with all your hubby is going through, 4 weeks really is not a very long time at all. It will all start to happen slowly and before long you both will realise, that things have progressed and he is starting to pick up.
If your not happy then keep calling the doctor out, do you get any help from the district nurse at all ? ( I may have missed if you do ) You really are doing a brilliant job in coping
.Sending you some (((hugs)))

victory

northerntwo1 wrote: »

Oh sweetie it's hard sometimes it's one step forward and 5 steps backwards literally and mentally. It's hard being in pain knowing you should push yourself but your body is too weak and lack of food and muscle wastage mean you can't get your body to work even on the rare occasions your mind wants to push. Work this month is very unlikely and IMO shouldn't be one of his targets, it's too early.

The good news is that he is walking so he's started his muscle build up. 25 steps may be too much but 13 is within limits. In some ways I found it easier long term as I have young children and husband had to return to work so they gave me the motivation to push through the pain as their lives were being disrupted. When I had someone else here I did less because I could. If I could post pictures I'd show you how muscle wastage can be. My leg was half the size of my better leg after months in plaster and none weight bearing, my wrist was limp after not being used. It's the same inside too- you can't see them though. If you could you'd know why they can't function.

My advice is this (if appropriate)

Work on muscles sitting down. Use tins of beans or lighter packets of soup to build arm and hand muscles. Watching TV do raises to build arm strength. Try to raise legs, toes, circle feet sitting down. This helps when you weightbear as they are stronger.

Use aids. Using a zimmer for most "walks" still builds muscles. It was 8 months before I could take a step without aids but I used all aids I could when recovering.

Diet - it's hard. Drugs bung you up which alone makes eating hard add pain, tiredness and for me a touch of depression it was the last thing I wanted. I juiced and got my 5 a day from juice. I researched those that helped the body heal and drank 1 juice a day to give my body what it needed. Happy to give recipies if this is of value. Helps with body functions too.

Mentally it's hard and frustrating. I found small goals worked. 10 soup tin lifts per hour, finishing a chapter of a book (you can't concentrate in pain, so that's an achievment) and I increaed my goals.

It's very hard physically and mentally but you do have to push - the thing is only he knows hid limits. Not you or the nurse. It's using goals to push without damage. If he can find his limits of pushing without damage then building on it then IME recovery is quicker.

The more I moved (even if just circling my wrist) the more my appetite and pain resistance increased. you feel pain more when you are not doing things.

Can you take him out in a wheelchair? Fresh air is tremendous at boosting you? Day by day he will improve but within his capability. Work this month isn't realistic and when you think you are letting yourself and others down I can't explain how much it crashes you. You feel a failure and demotivated. It's utterly soul destroying to think you should be able to and can't, if others think you should, it's like saying you should run 100m in 10 seconds because bolt can and being a failure because you can't. It's why small goals worked for me.

Good luck day by day he will get stronger but some days it will feel like a step back which is normal.

OH tried to motivate himself to push himself today, he tried to get a wash, it was incredibly difficult for him, I was standing next to him, keeping him motivated and telling him how far he had come considering 4 weeks ago...as has been said on the thread, he tried but the pain over took him and now he has laid flat down back in bed.

All aids are available to him but not really being used as yet.

Yes the recipes will be of great value thank you.

victory

thorsoak wrote: »

Victory, darling - your OH's recovery will take as long as it takes - no-one can say categorically that he "should" be doing this or that - because everybody's injuries/rate of recuperation are different. Take each day at a time - sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof!

My oh was prescribed the liquid "build-up" foods - but to be honest, they all tasted vile to him - and when I tasted them, I had to agree = they did. Try making him some soups - very easy and slip down more easily than food, and a little easier on an upset digestion. It's still very early days - the anelgesics and painkillers will also be reacting with digestion and elimination. Senoket might help with constipation if he cannot face eating fruit yet.

Don't forget - its not four weeks since you weren't even sure if he would survive - his body has really been through the wringer - and it could well be the spring before he feels more like himself. Keep strong, keep looking after yourself - if you are expected to hold things together, then you have to look after yourself. xxxx

Yes he says they are horrible, just horrible.

Soups he has or porridge or shreddies mashed up or mash potato like baby foods really.

Senokot is not powerful enough the doc said so he has the super strength ones on prescription, 2 sachets every 4-6 hours.

I am very proud of him for trying today, told him so but he needs to rest now, too much for him.

victory

harrys_nan wrote: »

I sympathise with all your hubby is going through, 4 weeks really is not a very long time at all. It will all start to happen slowly and before long you both will realise, that things have progressed and he is starting to pick up.
If your not happy then keep calling the doctor out, do you get any help from the district nurse at all ? ( I may have missed if you do ) You really are doing a brilliant job in coping
.Sending you some (((hugs)))

Yes and no, OH has these breathing exercises he must do, deep breathing, shallow breathing, exhale, inhale, if he can he does those which as yet are not supervised by a nurse or doctor, the nurse gave him other things to do and achieve ( like 25 steps) but so far he cannot do the achievements so the nurse said keep persevering and will ring on monday to see what happens then, fortunately at last come monday all medical staff will be back at work and accesible so it should be a lot easier than the last couple of weeks where they are on holiday/unavailable etc.

Other aims like having a shower are impossible, a wash down rather than a shower with a sponge, to eat, that is the food sachets, to go to the toilet is the sachets...