My OH is in hospital in intensive care

meritaten

so pleased to hear he is home Victory! as others have said, ASK for help - don't run yourself into the ground trying to soldier on. Help is out there and available, but, you have to ask for it.

I do hope that Mr V recovers quickly now he is home and under your loving care. and don't forget to allow yourself some 'respite' time too. Carers need it to allow them to recharge their batteries each day.
my very best wishes to you all XXX

MatyMoo

What an incredible update Victory, I have been willing you on from the sidelines and hoping that he would at least be nearer to home for Christmas but actually home in an amazing step.

It is going to be tough on the whole family but he will get better each day, small steps to start with but soon enough he will be making strides forward.

I wish you patience and energy to deal with things and echo all the shouts of ask for help - it really will not be handed to you on a plate.

Much love to you and yours xx

mum2one

that is the most amazing news Victory, I only echo what others have said - ask for help, .

From experience of when dad was in hospital, he lost weight, he went from 10 stone, down to 6 stone, - but within a month he got back to 10 stone.

I would double check with your gp surgery that they are aware that he is home and can arrange follow up care, more often the first couple of days will be district nurses, - there be no harm ringing them as well.

Please take care, xxx

consumer31

Very happy for you victory thoughts and prayers for you and your family it will be a long way but his on the right track wishing you all the best

mellymoo74

Hi victory really pleased for you. Don't worry to much about personality changes partly it's frustration and if he suffered a head injury it takes a while to get back to sort of normal I wasn't me for about 12 months.
Sending positive thoughts and best wishes

sooty&sweep

Fabulous news to hear that Mr Victory is home with you for christmas !

As a previous poster has said you should be getting support from the Community Nursing team. Talk to your GP & check what other support you're entitled to.
Push & make sure you get all the support you can. They are brilliant but very busy and if they think you can manage they'll let you.

Jen

BritAbroad

Have been following your thread though haven't posted on it before now. Glad your OH is home, victory. Now the hard work really begins. Make sure to take time for yourself and do everything you can to make life easier. If that means getting takeaway pizza three nights in a row, so be it. If someone asks you out for a coffee, say yes.

Ask for help whenever you need it (and you will), and if someone offers, ask them to do something specific. Too many people will make vague offers of help but never actually do anything, but it makes them feel good because they've offered. Don't put up with cr*p from anyone - if they're not helpful, tell them to ship out.

I have been in a very similar position to you. It was enormously stressful and the reality is that while it was tough whilst my OH was in hospital it was a lot worse when he got home. I had almost no support system though and also had to deal with a maze of medical bills and buying equipment etc - hopefully you won't have to deal with stuff like that.

In hindsight, I wish I'd been a lot more direct with people about what we needed instead of trying to accommodate their need to 'feel' they'd done the right thing. It's taken a real toll on me and my health is now suffering as a consequence.

You need to be strong, so please, please look after yourself. I used to take an extra couple of minutes in the shower just to breathe deeply. I slept when OH did, or if he watched TV I'd crash in the chair for 10 minutes. I would stand outside in the fresh air for a couple of minutes every day. Housework was cut back to the bare essentials. If someone wants to visit your OH, it's okay to use that time as a break for you and escape to the local coffee shop or whatever.

I wish you and your OH all the very best.

Bella73

Hi Victory

Have been following your thread as a lurker. So glad your OH is home.

As someone else said do ensure you contact your GP surgery today if you have not already dine so to ensure they know your OH is home, the system can be quite slow at letting the GP know.

The community team should be able to help you out and social services can be good for getting some equipment too.

Do not wait to be offered things sadly it doesn't always happen, tell them what you need and it sounds like you need a care package coming in on a regular basis, don't keep the stiff upper lip, tell them you cannot cope on your own and need help. There is no point in running yourself into the ground so you become poorly.

Sending you best wishes and love
Bella xx

susan1

victory wrote: »

Thank you for having me in your thoughts, prayers, your PM's, your support, to each and every one of you, thank you very much. I realise I will never meet you but please know that even though this is cyber space all your care and love and support has helped me a great deal, thank you very much.

They took OH in the air ambulance there and brought him back home in a blue light flashing ambulance in the middle of the night.

It is almost like they brought back a different person.

This person looks very ill, is in agony, can barely walk, came with a carrier bag full of medicines to take every few hours, has lost weight, is fragile, vulnerable.

OH asks me the same questions all the time, where is he? Where are his meds? What time is it? What day is it? He looks round for me but can't really understand who I am and what he is doing here .

OH screams in agony, screams in so much pain, is very emotional and desperate.

The police have stopped ringing, they have all the info they need, the in laws went back, they covered nearly 1,500 miles and we covered nearly 900 miles in total.

In total the CCU saved OH 4 times when he stopped breathing. 4 times he struggled to make it.

OH is exhausted, bruised,broken, can barely walk and will need care 24 hours a day.

He has been signed off for 4 weeks initially and will be monitored every 7 days initially and then up to 3 months, we need to get some mobility aids.

The CCU were fantastic, the in laws beyond the call of duty, the neighbours have helped with shopping and the mundane, his work colleagues have sent through the post cards and sweet gifts, you have all been great, thank you.

Hi,
Is your husband in your home or the local hospital? I can't believe they sent him home home in the middle of the night with blue flashing lights. Wherever he is, good luck to you both it is going to be a long haul.

Pollycat

Onwards and upwards, Victory.

Regardless of how fragile and confused he is right now, it is a massive step forward from when you first posted.

Take care.