Lodger wants to move there partner in?

DRP

hopefully the lodger makes it all the way to chapter 15 and realises that her partner can't move in !!

good luck, OP

[Deleted User]

To be honest I'd have kept it to brief bullet points ., half of that won't be read. You don't need to explain yourself.., its your house, you don't need to reason with her. If she doesn't like it, she can move out.

I am afraid I do think you have let this go on too long. From the tone of your letter, I don't think you have quite got this and the reasons for it yet.

Why is her boyfriend moving in with her, rather than her moving in with her boyfriend? is there something going on you need to be aware of? If her BF is happy with the smell/mess in her room, oh dear, heap big troubles ahead.

breaking_free

deannatrois wrote: »

If her BF is happy with the smell/mess in her room, oh dear, heap big troubles ahead.

^ This.

If he's okay with the smell and mess it can only mean that he's going to bring more of the same.

I would not allow this situation to continue. He's virtually living at your place already and not paying anything towards bills. The two of them are now used to the arrangement and probably won't take kindly to you laying down the law.

I'd just ask the girl to leave - I don't think anybody as thoughtless as you've described is going to make dramatic changes in personal habits.

Good luck!

asoe209

Well I aint seen any one since yesterday its still early days.


If any thing is going to change in ways of noticed it will be after Christmas now. that's enough time to see what things are like.


I'm off work for 2 weeks during this time to so can really see how she works as I don't really know as im out the door before her.

themull1

I can't believe your lodger treats your house so badly with the mess, blocked plugs etc, i would give it a month and if it doesn't improve, get rid. Surely her mother should have said something when she visited? I would have been mortified if this had been my daughter.

asoe209

Hi all just thought I would update.

So since she received the letter we never saw each other for aleast 4 days.


I then had a message a week or to later with her saying she wanted a chat. I instantly assumed she was going to say she was pregnant or moving. So that even I got home and it was a good few hours until she said any thing seems as if she was waiting on her other half. she went on to say that her and her partner have found a place and that she would be moving out. which is fine she gave me 4 weeks notice which was no problem.


since then it seems like the letter has been forgotten moving out or not the the rules should still have been followed.
the partner has stayed round since Christmas but with 2 days left I just let it be.


for there last act one of them broke the shower head holder, I noticed this a week or 2 ago. it was not to bad but then one of them finished the job and completely cracked the holder. ascendants happen but would be nice to inform me of it happening. She has told me her moving date is the 16th being Friday which is what se has paid up to. at this time I don't see any signs of packing etc so I wonder if there planning to move on the Saturday. this may course a problem as I have arranged for some one to come in on the Friday/Saturday so I need the room cleared. She has questioned her deposit of course I need to fully check the room before I let that back. they may have messed up as she stated wen asking about the deposit that they need it for the admin fees or something like that. So that's it the end of it, just hope for a smooth move.

Better_Days

Thanks for the update OP.

Don't let the lodger pressurise you into giving the deposit back until she has moved out and you can check the condition of the room, furniture and any communial areas.

With regards to the moving date - communication is the key. You could tell your lodger that you have someone moving in Saturday afternoon, so just to warn her the room needs to be empty and clean for you to check on the Saturday morning.

Hope it goes well, seems like the best outcome all round.

asoe209

Morning, I thought I would share another update with you all.
So Last Friday was the day the Lodger was set to go, I mentioned that I was unsure if she was going that day or not as there was no packing movements etc. this did however start on Wednesday/Thursday.
Friday comes just you normal sort of day get up and go to work. I got home at about 5pm expecting to see movement, but to my surprise I came home to an empty room everything gone and gutted. My initial feeling was ok she’s gone.
My next train of thought was to check the kitchen cupboards and yes all of her packets and tinned goods were gone. Now I’m a little confused as the keys have not been left anywhere nore is there a note or have I had any sort of message to say I’m gone or bye thanks etc. Her fridge goods are still there and a few other bits and pieces like folks bowls etc so my initial thought is maybe her and her partner are in between runs moving bits.
I continued my night as normal, and wet out at about 9pm she had not returned and I still had no contact. It was a late one for me getting home at 4am so very tired. The following day a friend of mine came over this is who they believed was going to be moving is when she left.
At about 6pm her partner knocks the door, said she had asked him to get the rest of the fridge bits. And I gave him the rest of what I found lying around. He went on to acknowledge the previous day of leaving with not saying anything. Stating they had family around, sorting bit etc. which I understand.
I went on to say that’s fine but you left me not knowing what was going on and she has taken the keys, as you can see the new person is here etc. he said he never knew she had I and must of forgot. He question the deposit, My response is ill talk to her once I check over the room which I had not done yet.
On that note after checking the room, the smell is going after airing it out. There are plate sized stains on the carpet on of which is white and sticky. And a couple of small fag burns. In conjunction of the broken shower holder plates and glasses and sofa marks ill defo be keeping £100 back, not sure of the cost of the carpet clean but this still seems like a fair amount.
I’m going to draft her an email explaining this then send the money into her account.
I offered to meet during the week for dinner to say our buys etc as we are somewhat friends this was missed as I was shattered.
But I still don’t have the keys back….

Pixie5740

Change the barrels in the locks. It's fairly straightforward and will cost around £15 a lock. You could deduct the cost from her deposit since she isn't paying rent anymore yet still has keys to your home.

Don't go into too much detail when you send her an email about the deposit deductions. Keep is short and sweet, something like:

Shower holder: £X
Cigarette burns: £X

listing the deductions.

asoe209

Yeah that is what I will do.