my husband is having an affair

DreamyP

Living with a guy from the age of 19, I was besotted. He was a little older than me, and a drummer. As a teenager I was bowled over and besotted, and it was only a couple of months after we met that I moved in with him. We'll call him PBB for Ponytailed Brummy !!!!!!!.
I really, really loved him. Even when he told me he was still in love with his ex (who had cheated on him) and would insist I should do the housework and shopping and cooking even though we both worked full time, because it was his house, he earned more than me, and I didn't pay any rent (all of my wages went into his bank account in his name).
In case you missed it, I loved him, I really did, even when he'd started to go out and gasp happen to iron his own shirt. Wearing aftershave. Even when he went out "For a couple with the lads" then stumble in the bedroom at 3am, hardly able to stand ... His excuse? "Someone had spiked his drink".
I even still loved him when he came in at 3am, with his ironed shirt all creased, aftershave on, and with a shag tag glowing from his neck ... His excuse? "My mate Steve did it to me for a laugh".
I moved into the spare room in protest, surely he would come in, apologise, change his ways, promise not to go out as often, not come back as drunk?
Nope. This stalemate went on for 2 months, I still loved him, but moved out to my parent's house at the age of 25. I just moved a few things out with me, just my cassette stereo (lol, a couple of decades old this story) and my clothes. I even left my beloved cat behind, on the agreement when I get my own place I can come back and reclaim him.
For some reason he let me keep a key. I realised only a couple of days later I had forgotten the lead for my boom box. I knew he was going to be out with the lads at the time I was driving back from work, so deliberately timed it when he wasn't at home. Pre mobile phones, I'm not having the pain of speaking to him, too much, I love him. In and out, job done.
I walk in, something is wrong. The house is clean. Not clean, but clean.
Wait, what's this on the mantlepiece? A generic love card, no occasion but you know the kind a la Roger The Rabbit "How much do I love you? Let me count the ways!" Inside was neat flowery writing "Dear PBB, I love you so much, from <insert Cheating Witch's name, CB>.
Slowly, I see the cassette answerphone machine is flashing with a message. My curiosity turbo charges me over there, O little red flashing light, what can you tell me? The female voice purrs "Oh, PBB, I had such a luuuurvely night last night, I can't wait to do it again soon!"
Looking around the room, two wine glasses. By this time my head is like a volcano. I run upstairs to the room and there's a !!!!ing WEDDING RING next to his side of the bed! !!!!!!!!
I am shuddering, crying, drive back to my parent's house in bits. I walk in the door, sobbing so hard and loud my Mum asked if I had been abused .. I couldn't talk for the snot bubbles of anguish. Why doesn't he love me?
We talk, and I want revenge, but more than petty. I plot. I plan. I think of sewing prawns into the hems of his curtains. Too much hassle. Cutting his clothes up? Not my style. I am too subtle for that. I want long-range passive revenge.
Dad got a van. We went the next day (Saturday) with the cat basket. Everything that I had bought and left behind I was going to take. Only things that were mine. That was the only rule.
Side note: PBB used to half-work every Saturday at a music store in town, talking drums and !!!!. He was screwing the owner's sister. I recognised her voice and name from the love card.
So, I took the washing machine I had bought 3 months earlier - did I mention he was a drummer - I replaced it with a washboard and thimbles he used for percussion.
I took the tin of Christmas ham that was out of date in the cupboard. I took the cutlery as it was Eternal Beau and I bought it from Argos. I took the teabags, as I had bought the last lot.
I took the double bed and mattress, and I took my cat.
Just before we left, I told Dad to sit in the van, I had my own special goodbye to say. The previous night I had found every single printed photo of his face. This took an hour, before camera phones etc, I cut them all up and ripped them into quarters. I hid handfuls under carpets, inside vases with dried flowers, behind picture frames, under ornaments, back of cupboards, inside the freezer ice cube tray and behind the bath panel. Nothing obvious to the eye.
Whilst I was in the bathroom, I opened the cabinet and saw his precious Joop aftershave. I crouched over the toilet, !!!!ed in it and put the top back on.
Finally, I took the cassette recording from the answer machine, stopped off on the way home at a phone box, rang the music store where he always hung out on a Saturday, asked to speak to him and said in a calm, controlled voice:
"You have one week to tell her husband. Or I do" and hung up.
I sold the bed the same day to a bloke down the pub, sold the washing machine cut price to an elderly neighbour, and resettled my cat into my parent's home (he loved it there).
I had a phone call at 3am when he got home to see he had no bed or washing machine and spat down the phone that I was an "Evil vitreous !!!!!". When I got up in the morning I had to get the dictionary out as it was pre Google and I had no idea what vitreous meant.
3 months later part 2 came into play. I started to call his friends, pretend I was drunk, giggle and confess I had !!!!ed in his aftershave, so eventually word got out what I had done, but it was too late by then.
TL;DR Cheating ex-boyfriend gets my !!!! kissed off his neck for months by cheating witch.Before Google and mobile phones, so you had to know someone's address before you could call Directory Services for their land line number. All I knew is that her / hubby had a guest house in the large town down the road. I would have called him but unfortunately I never found out his number despite my efforts trying.
What also needled me is that Cheating Witch's brother, and all PBB's friends knew about this, I was so blind in love I found out later that they had been seeing each other for around a year.
I guess it wasn't too long before CW told poor hubby.
My little brother was only about 10 at the time, a good 5 years later I was driving with him and my Dad passing through the village where we had lived together. For old times' sake I asked to stop for a pint at my old local pub (bar) it was early, 12 noon, the place was empty. Apart from a lonesome fat figure propping up the bar, extra long ponytail, drinking whiskey...
All 3 of us sat down, PBB turned round, recognised my Dad first, exclaimed when he saw me (I had shorter hair, dyed red), and couldn't believe his eyes at my now taller and older brother.
(Another) long story short, he sat with us for this one drink, all friendly and everything. Enquired about my Mum's new art studio, asked for her email address. We left.
Little (taller, older) brother and Dad barely had shut the doors on the car, and they both screamed together YOU !!!!ED IN HIS AFTERSHAVE HAHAHAHA and we laughed all the way back home.
6 months later, I had a strange phone call, I now lived 250 miles away, this weird voice asked me if I recognised him. Genuinely, no. PBB had Googled my name and found out my number from a website (bloody internet had evolved by then) asking if I would join him for the night in a hotel close by as he was on business.
All of my rage-filled wut.
I politely asked him not to judge me by his standards. I was (and still am) in a stable loving relationship. He then tried to turn the situation around by telling me he thinks of me when !!!!ing CW.
Asks him never to contact me never again.
Roll on another 4 years. Facebook message and friend request.
I have no more wuts to offer and lost count of the amount of !!!!s I give. I write back and tell him he was a !!!!, and once I was sure he had read my reply I blocked him.
Easily the biggest !!!! I have ever met, surprised (and chuffed) it's taken me so long to be reminded of this to share, at one point I thought of him every day.

DreamyP

Gather round boy and girls because its time for the story of my cheating ex-wife and how I !!!!ed her. Now bare with me as this is a bit of a long one but !!!! it. So I had a feeling she was cheating as she set off a lot of red flags. Constantly laughing and smiling when texting, saying it was just her mother when I asked. Needing to stay late every night after work. When I'd call in her co-workers said she left hours ago. When I asked her what was going on she'd laugh it off and say it was just something they did to each other at the office all the time. The last straw to where I knew something was definitely up was when she went out "to get milk" at 11:30 at night and didn't come back till 2 in the morning. Now if there is any words of wisdom I can pass on to others in all my years of experience, its if you think your significant other is cheating, hire a !!!!ing private investigator. They're goddamn good at what they do and they will get some evidence that really helps in the later divorce.
Fast track to her birthday, several months down the road. Now I know what you're thinking, why the hell did I wait months before I confronted her and did it really need to be on her birthday? The answer to the first question is I wanted as much evidence as possible to hand off to my lawyer as well as make arrangements to find a new place to live, etc. Answer to your second question is of course it had to be on her birthday. You see after asking her what she wanted to do on her birthday this year she was rather insisted on me going out of town with my friends as she just had to work anyways and didn't want to be reminded she was ageing.
So I know something is up and after finding a bottle of champagne and two glasses hidden in my closest something in my snaps. So I do what any sensible man would have done. I leave and go to my friends house pretending like I am going out of town. While there I call up her mother, father, sister and several of her friends. I tell them how I want to give her a big surprise by sneaking into her room with party streamers, kazoos and a big cake with candles. Sounds fun right?! Well boy was it.
Its 8:30 in the morning and I have everyone met just outside our apartment. We all pile in the elevator (about 8 of us in total), her mother holding the cake and me reminding everyone to be as quiet as they can be. My put my key in and unlock the door, we all sneak in and make our way down the hall towards the bedroom. Each hold a kazoo and Mom holding the cake grinning from ear to ear.
Well as I throw open the door and we all yell surprise. But the surprise was on us and there was my wife, bent over in doggy style position with her lover staring at us wide eyed mid thrust. Mom drops the cake, sister screams, father begins to shout. I pretend like I'm horrified to which her friends try to push everyone out while yelling at her. Wife, excuse me, ex-wife is sobbing and screaming how could I while the lover is desperately trying to put his pants on while running out of the place. Needless to say, it was one of the best birthday presents I have ever given.

Pollycat

DreamyP

I think you need to step back from the keyboard and decide whether you are male or female.

Your post #82 appears to be a personal account written from a female perspective and #83 from a male perspective.

Either way, I can't see much advice in either post that would be helpful to the OP.

lostinrates

Guest101 wrote: »

It's an interesting point. Were these a collection? Particularly expensive? It's stretching the boundaries, but jewelry is included sometimes, so watches doesn't surprise me - mobile phones would

Not part of a collection as such, just more than one each, I think about half a dozen. A four certainly cost a fraction of a a smart phone, two cost very much more, but were valued for about the same as an smart phone/ipad for resale.

TBeckett100

DreamyP wrote: »

Gather round boy and girls because its time for the story of my cheating ex-wife and how I !!!!ed her. Now bare with me as this is a bit of a long one but !!!! it. So I had a feeling she was cheating as she set off a lot of red flags. Constantly laughing and smiling when texting, saying it was just her mother when I asked. Needing to stay late every night after work. When I'd call in her co-workers said she left hours ago. When I asked her what was going on she'd laugh it off and say it was just something they did to each other at the office all the time. The last straw to where I knew something was definitely up was when she went out "to get milk" at 11:30 at night and didn't come back till 2 in the morning. Now if there is any words of wisdom I can pass on to others in all my years of experience, its if you think your significant other is cheating, hire a !!!!ing private investigator. They're goddamn good at what they do and they will get some evidence that really helps in the later divorce.
Fast track to her birthday, several months down the road. Now I know what you're thinking, why the hell did I wait months before I confronted her and did it really need to be on her birthday? The answer to the first question is I wanted as much evidence as possible to hand off to my lawyer as well as make arrangements to find a new place to live, etc. Answer to your second question is of course it had to be on her birthday. You see after asking her what she wanted to do on her birthday this year she was rather insisted on me going out of town with my friends as she just had to work anyways and didn't want to be reminded she was ageing.
So I know something is up and after finding a bottle of champagne and two glasses hidden in my closest something in my snaps. So I do what any sensible man would have done. I leave and go to my friends house pretending like I am going out of town. While there I call up her mother, father, sister and several of her friends. I tell them how I want to give her a big surprise by sneaking into her room with party streamers, kazoos and a big cake with candles. Sounds fun right?! Well boy was it.
Its 8:30 in the morning and I have everyone met just outside our apartment. We all pile in the elevator (about 8 of us in total), her mother holding the cake and me reminding everyone to be as quiet as they can be. My put my key in and unlock the door, we all sneak in and make our way down the hall towards the bedroom. Each hold a kazoo and Mom holding the cake grinning from ear to ear.
Well as I throw open the door and we all yell surprise. But the surprise was on us and there was my wife, bent over in doggy style position with her lover staring at us wide eyed mid thrust. Mom drops the cake, sister screams, father begins to shout. I pretend like I'm horrified to which her friends try to push everyone out while yelling at her. Wife, excuse me, ex-wife is sobbing and screaming how could I while the lover is desperately trying to put his pants on while running out of the place. Needless to say, it was one of the best birthday presents I have ever given.

That's next years John Lewis advert with someone singing "where is the love?" :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

TBeckett100

I think my ex was cheating. We must have been 18 at the time and shacked up together. Well, one day she was putting her clothes in bin bags "having a clear out"

As I was helping her, I stumbled on a photograph of a slightly older man.

Anyway, the next day, came home to find her gone.

She rang me the following morning and asked if I had anything to say

I said, "why did you take the Sky box!"

Anyway, the following weekend I sat and stared at the magnolia walls and thought, heh, I can now paint these whatever colour I want. So I did.

I wasn't sad she left and didn't miss her, clearly we had both drifted apart. I was just annoyed I didn't have Sky TV for a couple of weeks

Morglin

TBeckett100 wrote: »

That's next years John Lewis advert with someone singing "where is the love?" :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I think I prefer this year's one with Monty the Penguin....:T

Gender confused Greek tragedies I do not need when I am knee deep in turkey snd tinsel.......:eek:

Lin

TBeckett100

Morglin wrote: »

I think I prefer this year's one with Monty the Penguin....:T

Gender confused Greek tragedies I do not need when I am knee deep in turkey snd tinsel.......:eek:

Lin

I thought "stuffing the bird" was the message here

LilElvis

Pollycat wrote: »

DreamyP

I think you need to step back from the keyboard and decide whether you are male or female.

Your post #82 appears to be a personal account written from a female perspective and #83 from a male perspective.

Either way, I can't see much advice in either post that would be helpful to the OP.

Also somewhat unbelievable that they managed to type the fairly lengthy second post in less than 3 minutes!

gilett

keep cool for now but start rubbing a fresh chilli pepper on the inside of his pants, then sit back and wait. Soon he will start thinking his little floozie has given him a STD and you will get the las laugh lol