Feeling guilty. Am I wrong? (parents)

Jagraf

Why is she doing this to you? I would have closed the door long ago. X

dragonette

Oh hon! Well done on standing your ground! I've heard similar arguments from people who only seek what suits them.

I think you will need to stand firm, it will continue

Claire_A87

So essentially she had a few weeks of forcing herself to be civil, but went back to acting like a petulant child when she couldn't have her way.

You've handled it incredibly well, and are a complete saint for still allowing her to be a part of your life when all she does is make it more difficult. Continue to stand your ground, and maybe one day she'll get the hint and start acting like a responsible adult.

fivetide

Sounds like you've done brilliantly. You are rightly proud of yourself.

heartbreak_star

Well done for standing your ground

HBS x

Mojisola

DivineSaver wrote: »

"YOU'RE the daughter, its your job to let me stay here". - Uhm, no. No it's not.

After that, she said "we're leaving" and stormed out the house (my dad said absolutely nothing during this conversation) and I haven't seen or heard from her since.

Not entirely sure if this is progress but I can honestly say I am proud of myself for standing my ground and not backing down during her usual tactics. I think it has come as a shock for her as well because in the past it would have only taken one round of The Blame Game and I would have been KO'd :eek:

Well done! After a lifetime of giving in to her, it's not easy to do what you've done.

You've completely shifted the rules of her 'game' - no wonder she hasn't been in contact. You standing up for yourself will have completely confused her.

You can see from what's happening at her sister's house how awful it would be if you let them stay with you and your OH so stay firm.

duchy

Is Dad still borrowing your car every day for viewings ?

BigAunty

It is progress - you've gained the confidence to say what you feel and not be bullied into decisions by pressure tactics, like guilt trips, sulking and shouting.

Your mother may/may not learn the lesson that she needs to be civil, take responsibility for her behaviour and that it is the quality of an argument that will give her influence, not how loud she shouts. But that's with her - she will not necessarily gain the insight you hope for and she needs.

Is there any chance that your dad is at risk from even nastier behaviour than she exhibits to you or your aunt?

She can't even get along with her own sister...sheesh.

Was she like this pre-menopause?

thorsoak

Well done - and now you know that it's just not you that has problems with your mother - her own sister has the same problems!

She is using excuses, you know - I believe you said she is late 50s/early 60s? She's not still going through the menopause!

Keep using the "broken record" system which you are using so well - and hopefully they will find something relatively near/not too near you!

DivineSaver

duchy wrote: »

Is Dad still borrowing your car every day for viewings ?

Yes he is. I don't think he expected it to take as long as it did to find rented accommodation. He told me this morning though that they have been approved for a house so hopefully that means I can have my car back again! and just in time too- its only been two weeks and he's scored the alloys and knocked the tracking out already. :(