Hollaback

trailingspouse

No, you learn to avoid escalating it. You learn to put a brave face on it. You learn to pretend that you find it funny.

It's never funny.

It might be funny between people who know each other well - but that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about harassment in public, by people who are totally unknown to their target.

When will the men who do it grow up?

j.e.j.

trailingspouse wrote: »

No, you learn to avoid escalating it. You learn to put a brave face on it. You learn to pretend that you find it funny.

It's never funny.

It might be funny between people who know each other well - but that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about harassment in public, by people who are totally unknown to their target.

When will the men who do it grow up?

I don't want to live in a world where people are afraid to have a laugh in case some professional offence-taker gets the hump. (And there's a fair few of them in life..).

I hate being harrassed in public. I hate chuggers coming up to me. I hate NHS workers coming up and hassling me with a clip board. But these things (and worse) happen. Short of staying indoors and barracading yourself in, the only option is to ignore it, laugh it off or answer them!

The terrible men you're referring to don't even give you, or what they've said to you, a 2nd thought. Why are you wasting your time and energy getting cross and brewing on it? You're the one who suffers if you're angry, resentful and full of venom, not 'the enemy'

As for growing up, well yes, the more mature approach is surely to realise that the world may not go the way you'd like it to. Annoying though that is

[Deleted User]

j.e.j. wrote: »

I don't want to live in a world where people are afraid to have a laugh in case some professional offence-taker gets the hump. (And there's a fair few of them in life..).

I hate being harrassed in public. I hate chuggers coming up to me. I hate NHS workers coming up and hassling me with a clip board. But these things (and worse) happen. Short of staying indoors and barracading yourself in, the only option is to ignore it, laugh it off or answer them!

The terrible men you're referring to don't even give you, or what they've said to you, a 2nd thought. Why are you wasting your time and energy getting cross and brewing on it? You're the one who suffers if you're angry, resentful and full of venom, not 'the enemy'

As for growing up, well yes, the more mature approach is surely to realise that the world may not go the way you'd like it to. Annoying though that is

You are not comparing like-for-like.

How many chuggers have approached you and made comments about your appearing "spare some change fat a***?"

How many people with clip boards have 'trapped' you in a bus seat, pub seat, pushed against you in a lift, on a tube etc?

How many irritating people have made you scared for your own safety?

If you ignore the comments, then the comments usually get worse, if you answer back the comments get worse, if you laugh it off you are seen as 'fair game'.

No one is saying that you cannot have a laugh, but your attitude is a major part of the problem. You seem to find it funny that women are upset, humiliated, scared and assume it is all part of the banter. How would you feel if you wife, or daughter came home upset and in tears after being shouted at in the street? I am sure you would just laugh and laugh.

I have been rubbed-up against, groped, hit, shouted at, trapped in corners all by strangers. So the next time someone shouts something offensive I will just laugh it off because they are only having a laugh, a bit of banter aren't they?

Until you have experienced it daily year-after-year you have no idea what it is like and one thing it is not is funny.

thorsoak

j.e.j. wrote: »

I don't want to live in a world where people are afraid to have a laugh in case some professional offence-taker gets the hump. (And there's a fair few of them in life..).

I hate being harrassed in public. I hate chuggers coming up to me. I hate NHS workers coming up and hassling me with a clip board. But these things (and worse) happen. Short of staying indoors and barracading yourself in, the only option is to ignore it, laugh it off or answer them!

The terrible men you're referring to don't even give you, or what they've said to you, a 2nd thought. Why are you wasting your time and energy getting cross and brewing on it? You're the one who suffers if you're angry, resentful and full of venom, not 'the enemy'

As for growing up, well yes, the more mature approach is surely to realise that the world may not go the way you'd like it to. Annoying though that is

You just don't get it, do you? We all know that the cat-callers don't give the person they are cat-calling a tuppenny-hapenny damn - but they aren't the people that matter - the people that matter are those who ARE called slags/tittyless/fat-arsed/fat/stupid, etc etc etc. Would you laugh it off if your mother/sister/daughter were upset by these remarks? If your daughter came home in tears, after having gone out for an evening with friends, thinking that she looked lovely, because lads were "having a laugh"?

Totally crass and insensitive remarks ....if I were you, I'd shut up now.

shelley_crow

The mature approach would be learning to keep your mouth shut and that shouting inappropriate comments at strangers is rude, most kids grow out of it as they mature but obviously not all.

tea_lover

j.e.j. wrote: »

I don't want to live in a world where people are afraid to have a laugh in case some professional offence-taker gets the hump. (And there's a fair few of them in life..).

I hate being harrassed in public. I hate chuggers coming up to me. I hate NHS workers coming up and hassling me with a clip board. But these things (and worse) happen. Short of staying indoors and barracading yourself in, the only option is to ignore it, laugh it off or answer them!

The terrible men you're referring to don't even give you, or what they've said to you, a 2nd thought. Why are you wasting your time and energy getting cross and brewing on it? You're the one who suffers if you're angry, resentful and full of venom, not 'the enemy'

As for growing up, well yes, the more mature approach is surely to realise that the world may not go the way you'd like it to. Annoying though that is

Yeah that's right, cheer up love, miserable cow, who do these people think they are, daring to get offended at a bit of banter. Stupid women, best get back to the kitchen and not worry our pretty little heads about it.

j.e.j.

Spider_In_The_Bath wrote: »

Until you have experienced it daily year-after-year you have no idea what it is like and one thing it is not is funny.

Can't be ar5ed quoting most of your post, but I'm afraid you've lost your authority there m'dear.

j.e.j.

tea_lover wrote: »

Yeah that's right, cheer up love, miserable cow, who do these people think they are, daring to get offended at a bit of banter. Stupid women, best get back to the kitchen and not worry our pretty little heads about it.

You lot are too funny

j.e.j.

thorsoak wrote: »

You just don't get it, do you? We all know that the cat-callers don't give the person they are cat-calling a tuppenny-hapenny damn - but they aren't the people that matter - the people that matter are those who ARE called slags/tittyless/fat-arsed/fat/stupid, etc etc etc. Would you laugh it off if your mother/sister/daughter were upset by these remarks? If your daughter came home in tears, after having gone out for an evening with friends, thinking that she looked lovely, because lads were "having a laugh"?

Totally crass and insensitive remarks ....if I were you, I'd shut up now.

I (and my friends) been on the receiving end of many such charming remarks. I've walked down the street minding my own business and then heard a car full of blokes yelling obscenities out of the window. Who hasn't.

None of us went home crying to mummy about it. (What's mummy gong to do anyway? Go and chase them :rotfl:) It's just one of those annoying or unpleasant things. Get some perspective!

tea_lover

j.e.j. wrote: »

It's just one of those annoying or unpleasant things.

You know, like slavery or homophobia.