Morals and family

moomoomama27

Perhaps if you have to stuff your face so often with crisis, chocolate and Pepsi, you could do it without the children always seeing, especially if it's always done Infront of them.

Set a good example, perhaps have a treat day where you all go and get a nice treat. But please don't feed a 2 and 4 year old constant haring and fizzy drink treats, shudder!!!

pickledonionspaceraider

axel132132 wrote: »

Quick question on an argument i have been having with my fiance

She says that its cruel if i go to a shop and everytime i buy a chocolate bar or drink for myself shes saying its cruel if the kids dont have the same

I say im an adult i can have what i want and they shouldnt have to have chocolate bars just because i am.. Im saying thats spoiling them. I say im 24 and there 4 and 2.. They shouldnt be having what i am just because its 'unfair' i feel if i do its spoiling them


Whats overall view on this one

I think it is a bit off, if you are buying youself treats, and then the children are sitting watching you enjoy them

When mine were little, if there was the spare money for treats, it went on them, not on myself - and I think that is where that train of thought comes from. I actually used to feel guilty if i treated myself to something small - I guess that is just as bad!

eskimo26

Kids that young should be having junk food like that as a rare exception not a rule, your wife is just another soft touch parent whose children will be contributing to the obesity epidemic in x amount of years.

Sadly this seems to be the norm in this country. Did you know that obesity and diet are risk factors in most if not all of the top killer diseases in the western world? Including all cardiovascular disease [heart disease, stroke, etc.], most cancers, diabetes.... the other top risk factor is smoking btw.

I'm study it on my access to health related professions course, the Government's change4life campaign is great to get the kids involved in a healthier outlook on life and very family friendly and child interactive.

Getting the children something EVERYTIME you get yourself something? No, not healthy, not necessary. I would go as far as to say it's absurd.

Think of it logically, children need a lot less calories then adults and these 'treats' are usually massively calorific, matching an adults occasionally purchased intake of pop and chocs etc. is not healthy. Seriously you wouldn't be doing them any favours.

These 'occasional' treats matter a lot more then people realize, people don't get obese on air and right now we are in the middle of an obesity epidemic apparently.

http://www.nhs.uk/change4life/Pages/change-for-life.aspx

GobbledyGook

eskimo26 wrote: »

Kids that young should be having junk food like that as a rare exception not a rule, your wife is just another soft touch parent whose children will be contributing to the obesity epidemic in x amount of years.

Sadly this seems to be the norm in this country. Did you know that obesity and diet are risk factors in most if not all of the top killer diseases in the western world? Including all cardiovascular disease [heart disease, stroke, etc.], most cancers, diabetes.... the other top risk factor is smoking btw.

I'm study it on my access to health related professions course, the Government's change4life campaign is great to get the kids involved in a healthier outlook on life and very family friendly and child interactive.

Getting the children something EVERYTIME you get yourself something? No, not healthy, not necessary. I would go as far as to say it's absurd.

Think of it logically, children need a lot less calories then adults and these 'treats' are usually massively calorific, matching an adults occasionally purchased intake of pop and chocs etc. is not healthy. Seriously you wouldn't be doing them any favours.

These 'occasional' treats matter a lot more then people realize, people don't get obese on air and right now we are in the middle of an obesity epidemic apparently.

http://www.nhs.uk/change4life/Pages/change-for-life.aspx

Surely that depends on how the wife is saying it.

If my OH was buying fizzy juide, crisps and chocolate and munching in front of the kids I might say 'buy for all or none' but my expectation would be that he'd realise the kids having that so often wasn't good so he'd stop doing it. Not actually start buying the kids more junk.

eskimo26

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Surely that depends on how the wife is saying it.

If my OH was buying fizzy juide, crisps and chocolate and munching in front of the kids I might say 'buy for all or none' but my expectation would be that he'd realise the kids having that so often wasn't good so he'd stop doing it. Not actually start buying the kids more junk.

good luck with that, i think the average guy would find it to subtle to pick up on or at least he'll pretend he didn't get it. :rotfl:

Seriously though it is a big deal and it'll get worse on starting school when they will expect to get a packet of crisps or chocolate every day for break time snacks.

Also a lot of the things marketed as 'healthy' are NOT healthy they are just healthier then the calorific, sugar laden original which lets be honest is not saying much. It's all a con.

GobbledyGook

eskimo26 wrote: »

good luck with that, i think the average guy would find it to subtle to pick up on or at least he'll pretend he didn't get it. :rotfl:

Seriously though it is a big deal and it'll get worse on starting school when they will expect to get a packet of crisps or chocolate every day for break time snacks.

Also a lot of the things marketed as 'healthy' are NOT healthy they are just healthier then the calorific, sugar laden original which lets be honest is not saying much. It's all a con.

Nah, he's tight. The idea of spending more more would make him stop and think far quicker than me nagging would!

The school thing bothers me. My children's old school was super strict. The children were allowed fruit and fruit juice (unlimited) at break times, but nothing else.

I was the one frowned upon because the other children (out of school) were never, ever allowed fizzy juice. They get fruit juice or squash. Mine are occasionally allowed fizzy juice or fruit juice, but at home we drink milk or water. I fail to see how my approach is 'worse' than giving them fruit juice every single day (twice a day) when they don't have the facility to brush their teeth until they get home.

eskimo26

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Nah, he's tight. The idea of spending more more would make him stop and think far quicker than me nagging would!

The school thing bothers me. My children's old school was super strict. The children were allowed fruit and fruit juice (unlimited) at break times, but nothing else.

I was the one frowned upon because the other children (out of school) were never, ever allowed fizzy juice. They get fruit juice or squash. Mine are occasionally allowed fizzy juice or fruit juice, but at home we drink milk or water. I fail to see how my approach is 'worse' than giving them fruit juice every single day (twice a day) when they don't have the facility to brush their teeth until they get home.

Fruit juice and smoothies are two of those items considered 'healthy' but are very calorific, granted it is natural fruit sugar [but sugar is sugar] and obviously hands down better then the empty calories from fizzy drinks but still should be given in moderation.

In my book you have the right attitude, I might be more lenient if they were heavily involved with physical activity and therefore used/burned off the calories but generally water is the benchmark for me.

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2013/sep/07/smoothies-fruit-juices-new-health-risk

thorsoak

axel132132 wrote: »

All really valid points and the way i mean it is im an adult there kids they shouldnt have things just because i am... When im speaking in this i mean like if i go to shop get myself a bag of crisps and a pepsi (they have drinks - water and dilute pop all the time 24/7 never ever short) then i shudnt have to go get 3 pepsi max and 3 bags of crisps i feel thats spoiling them.. They can have one or two of my crisps but not there own bag

Extreme context but i said to my fiance... If i have a cig.. Shud they be allowed a cig just cos im having one?

They get there own treats without us and they also have deserts yogurts after tea etc.. If there good they get harribo all then time things like that so its not like they never get anything


Just think if they grow up having to have same all time there going to grow up spoilt 'well dad has a ipad so why cant i' type attitude.. (They do have an ipad like just a example)

Right Axel - so as you haven't answered my questions, I presume that (1) these are not your biological children, (2) that their mum pays for everything for them and (3) that you are accustomed to "treating" yourself.

In this scenario, I suggest that you bring yourself up to date on what little children should and should not have in their day to day diet, if you are going to take over as a father figure in this little family.

Morals and ipads do not come into it - at 2 and 4 what matters is love and consistency! Maybe you and the children's mother really do need to talk to each other about what she expects of a partner, and what you think a family should be.

At the moment, you are projecting teenage angst onto toddlers.

19lottie82

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

10p Freddo chocolate each and brushing teeth at bedtimes solves the problem.

Sadly not, Freddos haven't been 10p for YEARS....... They're 20p (at least) now!

PeacefulWaters

19lottie82 wrote: »

Sadly not, Freddos haven't been 10p for YEARS....... They're 20p (at least) now!

Poundland. Six for a quid. Inflation buster!