Morals and family

sinizterguy

axel132132 wrote: »

Quick question on an argument i have been having with my fiance

She says that its cruel if i go to a shop and everytime i buy a chocolate bar or drink for myself shes saying its cruel if the kids dont have the same

I say im an adult i can have what i want and they shouldnt have to have chocolate bars just because i am.. Im saying thats spoiling them. I say im 24 and there 4 and 2.. They shouldnt be having what i am just because its 'unfair' i feel if i do its spoiling them


Whats overall view on this one

It's a good life lesson for the children - Do as I say, not as I do.

Pollycat

Re my post above:

Maybe I should have also said the OP should perhaps consider his own teeth and waistline.

fishybusiness

It's a good life lesson for the children - Do as I say, not as I do.

Can't quite see what is good about that.......cue..... vicarious learning

sinizterguy

fishybusiness wrote: »

Can't quite see what is good about that.......cue..... vicarious learning

I'm sorry I didn't add the [sarcasm] tag.

I thought it was really obvious. Obviously not.

fishybusiness

I thought it was really obvious. Obviously not.

Ah, um it is now I re read it, maybe I was still waking up

liney

axel132132 wrote: »

Quick question on an argument i have been having with my fiance

She says that its cruel if i go to a shop and everytime i buy a chocolate bar or drink for myself shes saying its cruel if the kids dont have the same

I say im an adult i can have what i want and they shouldnt have to have chocolate bars just because i am.. Im saying thats spoiling them. I say im 24 and there 4 and 2.. They shouldnt be having what i am just because its 'unfair' i feel if i do its spoiling them


Whats overall view on this one

If buying the children chocolate so often is spoiling them, it's time you cut down on your trips to the shop! You really take your children to the shop, buy yourself sweets and refuse them any?!

In our house you do not eat treats without offering other people, because it's simply bad manners. If the children are in bed and your fancy a bag of crisps, then that's another story.

oystercatcher

This is the age that children are learning, manners, sharing, self control, healthy eating habits . Maybe buy a bunch of bannanas or a punnet of strawberries and share them out when you get home ?
You are a family and that involves sharing and caring not everyone for himself !

newcook

I suppose it depends if you treat the children from time to time.

Me and my brother used to have a ‘Friday night treat’ where we were allowed to stay up later than normal and watch a film with a can of pop, a chocolate bar and a packet of crisps. We were never that fussed if our mom bought a chocolate bar or drink for herself so long as we still had our treat night!

I do agree that these days some kids don’t see these goodies as a treat but you have to look to the parents to answer that!

Kaye1

Why would you want to do that?!


If we have a 'treat,' we do it together. The only time the kids have sweets/chocolate is on Saturday night, when we all have a treat.


If we were out at say a coffee shop, we would have a drink and a cake and we would all have something.


If I have a piece of fruit, I always offer the children some.


It's not about the kids learning they can't always have what they want, it's more that the OP is only concerned about his own needs.


If we are in a shop and the children want something and it is a 'no' they have no problem with that. However, sat in a coffee shop etc is family time and I would have no desire to exclude them.

pollypenny

Surely you want to teach your children to share. I can't believe anyone would eat a treat in front of a child without sharing.

An odd chocolate bar after they've gone to bed wont harm, though.