Morals and family

bagpussbear

I think if the kids are with you in the shop, perhaps be discreet about getting them for yourself, or treat them too.

I think your fiance saying its "cruel" is ridiculous. Children need to learn from a young age that they can't have everything they want.

However, you need to manage this one a little sensitively I think. Treat them occasionally, and the times you don't just be a little discreet. It's not fair to sit there and munch away on choc etc right in front of them.

fishybusiness

I say im an adult i can have what i want and they shouldnt have to have chocolate bars just because i am

You've not mentioned if and how you treat them or even if you want to get them something nice when you go out.

If I fancy buying something to eat I either buy for the kids as well or wait until they have gone to bed and treat myself and the other half on the QT. So we have family shares and grown up shares, seems like a good compromise.

As they grow they will notice more what you do, when you share and when you don't, you will have to think more about them then.

onlyroz

If you never get them any treats or drinks when you're out and if you gleefully scoff the choccie bars infront of them then yes it is a bit mean.

silvercar

I wonder who is the child in this situation.

Pollycat

silvercar wrote: »

I wonder who is the child in this situation.

Y'know, I wondered the same.
In fact I was going to suggest Duchy change this question:

duchy wrote: »

Are you an only child ?

to:
"Are you a child"?

duchy

I suspect your girlfriend is starting to see that you are very self-centred and put yourself consistently before the children. Now they are getting old enough to notice it too it is probably giving her food for though about what kind of father you'd be long term. It certainly would me. Most parents put their kids needs ahead of their own not pout and insist "Me first"

Molly41

I had a very selfish friend who once bought herself a portion of fish and chips and ate them in front of my hungry kids - she would not share one chip. I was so disgusted with her i have never spoken to her again. Yes I think you are self centred and selfish!

ben_m_g

If you are eating in front of them, then of course you are being cruel.

What exactly is the harm in buying a small chocolate for them to share if you are going to be treating yourself?

fishybusiness

I had a very selfish friend who once bought herself a portion of fish and chips and ate them in front of my hungry chips - she would not share one chip.

Reminds me of my dad! He used to do the weekly shopping in our house, and buy himself nice bits and pieces and then hide them at the top of the cupboard or right at the back of the fridge.

Come the days of being a teenager I would look for them and eat them. Suffice to say we don't get along......

Pollycat

ben_m_g wrote: »

If you are eating in front of them, then of course you are being cruel.

What exactly is the harm in buying a small chocolate for them to share if you are going to be treating yourself?

Tooth decay?