Revenge !!!!!! - have you experienced it or have your children?

thorsoak

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I'm in my 20s, when I was at school most of my friends (male and female) were doing it. People saying "don't take it and it can't be used against you" don't seem to grasp that it's very much the norm.

Just because it's the norm doesn't make it good. A couple of hundred years ago it was the norm to send small boys up chimneys - and a hundred and fifty years ago, it was the norm for rich men to procure young (12 year old virgins) for sex.

Buzzybee90

thorsoak wrote: »

Just because it's the norm doesn't make it good. A couple of hundred years ago it was the norm to send small boys up chimneys - and a hundred and fifty years ago, it was the norm for rich men to procure young (12 year old virgins) for sex.

You are only thinking this way because you're older, if you were younger you'd understand more. Nothing is like it was when you were young. I never said it was "good".

Tropez

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

You are only thinking this way because you're older, if you were younger you'd understand more. Nothing is like it was when you were young. I never said it was "good".

Yep. A lot of people do it. Some might disagree with it, that's their right but the truth is that there's a large number of people who have done it. They've done it for people they loved and trusted. They shouldn't be humiliated for placing their trust in the wrong person. That's their only real crime, and we see posts on here frequently from people who have placed their love and trust in the wrong person and who are offered sympathy and support, even after they've continued in a horrible cycle.

I don't expect people to offer the same support to those victimised by the type of pond scum that would seek to humiliate a former lover, but I would expect society not to blame the victim for making an error of judgement in trusting the wrong person because almost everyone makes that error with different consequences.

thorsoak

Listen, buzzybee, I started work in the frigid fifties, worked in the City of London through the swinging 60s, sexy 70s, and the easy 80s and naughty 90s - I've seen it all - and believe me, I do understand. And good, it certainly aint! People have to start taking a stand and NOT go with the flow. And this is the advice I give to my grandchildren - whether or not they take it, I worry.

Buzzybee90

Tropez wrote: »

Yep. A lot of people do it. Some might disagree with it, that's their right but the truth is that there's a large number of people who have done it. They've done it for people they loved and trusted. They shouldn't be humiliated for placing their trust in the wrong person. That's their only real crime, and we see posts on here frequently from people who have placed their love and trust in the wrong person and who are offered sympathy and support, even after they've continued in a horrible cycle.

I don't expect people to offer the same support to those victimised by the type of pond scum that would seek to humiliate a former lover, but I would expect society not to blame the victim for making an error of judgement in trusting the wrong person because almost everyone makes that error with different consequences.

I agree, would the posters think it was ok to humiliate them in other ways - perhaps post letters or texts they'd sent, things they'd told that person in a trusting relationship. Plus a lot of the time we are talking about children, children who are less likely to think through the longer term possible consequences.

Buzzybee90

thorsoak wrote: »

Listen, buzzybee, I started work in the frigid fifties, worked in the City of London through the swinging 60s, sexy 70s, and the easy 80s and naughty 90s - I've seen it all - and believe me, I do understand. And good, it certainly aint! People have to start taking a stand and NOT go with the flow. And this is the advice I give to my grandchildren - whether or not they take it, I worry.

You started work in the 50s making you, what, 70 something? It's impossible for you to understand how it is to be a young person in the 21st century because things have changed so much.

dandelionclock30

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

You are only thinking this way because you're older, if you were younger you'd understand more. Nothing is like it was when you were young. I never said it was "good".

When I was in my younger teens all my mates were glue sniffing. When I was older a lot of them were getting into heroin. I didnt because I didnt want to. You dont have to be a sheep,all people have a choice.

mgdavid

hgotsparkle wrote: »

I was actually saying the opposite to this....
If my OH, who I trust with my life, was to share pics of me if we broke up, then thats his fault. There is nothing wrong with sharing photos of yourself with someone that you love and trust.

Only if you are shortsighted enough to completely ignore the possible consequences of your actions.

mgdavid

Tropez wrote: »

Yep. A lot of people do it. Some might disagree with it, that's their right but the truth is that there's a large number of people who have done it. They've done it for people they loved and trusted. They shouldn't be humiliated for placing their trust in the wrong person. That's their only real crime, .........

people commit all sorts of crimes for the ones they love - that doesn't ever make it right.

Buzzybee90

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

When I was in my younger teens all my mates were glue sniffing. When I was older a lot of them were getting into heroin. I didnt because I didnt want to. You dont have to be a sheep,all people have a choice.

No you're right, drugs and sending a photo to someone you love are exactly the same.