Nice People 13: Nice Save

lostinrates

Spirit wrote: »

This morning i took the strapping off my shoulder and Oh offered to help wash the adhesive off me when I showered. he got out the tup of salt scrub that smells lovely and I was expecting him to use this . however by way of a pre wash he rubbed my back and shoulder firmly with a pumice stone. Then he used the lovely scrub. I now understand from experience the meaning of "rubbing salt into the wound". it is not recommended, hurts like hell.


in other news, my brain came back today. I was able to initiate communications, make calls , write emails, choose books as Christmas gifts. Hope it stays, as I think I am done with vegging. Also the pain killers were enough today and I have been pain free.

I am very happy for you.

Extremely.

Where ever brains go I wish mine had hitched a lift back with yours.

However, very, very happy for you. And so proud of you.

Masomnia

Doozergirl wrote: »

...Access to the expensive stuff and the urge to compare, compete or keep up with the people with expensive stuff. Potentially decreasing happiness as per Lydia's study, which I find absolutely true.

I am much happier since I decided not to compare. Not only is it incredibly damaging, you're usually comparing yourself to, and chasing, an illusion - meaning you will never be happy.

The way I see it, there is always someone richer, posher, handsomer, funnier, successfuller, so you may as well just get on with it.

I think in a way it's why I enjoy the company of non-Brits more (generally; certainly not all Brits are like that) but they're a lot less class-conscious outside this country.

Doozergirl

Masomnia wrote: »

The way I see it, there is always someone richer, posher, handsomer, funnier, successfuller, so you may as well just get on with it.

And which of those is important exactly? Who is kinder, more gentle, generous, fun, loving, forgiving, more thoughtful, a good ear?

Which qualities are the most valuable? And which of those can you be?

There's limit to all. And some of those, no one can beat you at, if you choose to be them.

Simples.

LydiaJ

Viva - well done that doctor. :T Hoping for the best possible outcome for your dad.

lostinrates wrote: »

I'm a no gift person. Buy something you like for your self, and enjoy it. Or have a coffee with me or something. I don't need you to worry about me or have angst about if I'll like it. If you are my friend I enjoy spending time wit you, that's the best thing. It sounds a bit twee when you try and verbalise it.

That may explain why you are so very very good at making people feel welcome when they visit you.

PasturesNew wrote: »

They weren't out there long.... if I were going there I'd consider how long I'd be away from home and how often I need to wee... and if the two were incompatible I'd simply not volunteer for the event.

As it is, I'd not have a problem.... but I know some people have to go a lot. For me to be worried about having to pee in a hedge or not I'd have to be out there for about 10-12 hours.

I remember, in the very early days of my pregnancy with DS, before any but a few very very close friends knew about it, having to go to see the deputy head at the school where I was teaching, and explain just why I couldn't be on a checkpoint in the middle of nowhere for the whole day for the school cross-country event. Fortunately he was kind and understanding about it, and just quietly left me off the list without telling anybody anything.

Spirit wrote: »

in other news, my brain came back today. I was able to initiate communications, make calls , write emails, choose books as Christmas gifts. Hope it stays, as I think I am done with vegging. Also the pain killers were enough today and I have been pain free.

:j:j:j:j

This evening we have been to see my goddaughter getting baptised. Very special occasion. The people being baptised each had a chance with the microphone to tell everyone a bit of their story and why they were doing this, and she did really well. (She's 14).

It seems a long time since LNE & I were at her dedication becoming her godparents (with another couple being her godparents as well). I was fine for most of this evening, and then had a bit of a tearful moment thinking back to that day and realising that back then I had no suspicion that we wouldn't have been going to today's service together as a couple. But mostly it was just a lovely service and a great chance to catch up with lots of friends from years ago.

zagubov

Generali wrote: »

TBH, that sort of thing doesn't bother me but I can see how it bothers others.

I used to wear fancy clothes by having an annual trip to the Selfridges sales. As I say, no car so no keeping up with the Joneses there.

We used to go on holiday quite a bit but usually to a cheap hotel or gite in France (mainly the latter). We were probably the envy of quite a lot of people with our holidays despite doing them very cheaply, the assumption being that we spent a packet. I really enjoy cooking though (did I mention that?) so a week of buying food from the market and cooking it with no time pressure followed by a few games of cards listening to the World Service is a lovely evening for me.

When The Boy was 3 months we spent a month in a Gite in Normandy. Typical day was Mrs G would do the morning feed then I'd take him to the shops to buy Mrs G and I bread and fruit for brekkie. Spend a while in a cafe drinking a €1 coffee and chatting to the locals.

Home for brekkie and off for a bike ride while they slept in.

Bread and cheese or pate with last night's salad for lunch and buy food for dinner followed by a trip out somewhere. Then cook dinner, play cards/backgammon/read/chat until bed.

That sounds like an idyllic way to spend time, except for the bit about preparing food, concerning which I have few discernible gifts.

Spirit wrote: »

in other news, my brain came back today. I was able to initiate communications, make calls , write emails, choose books as Christmas gifts. Hope it stays, as I think I am done with vegging. Also the pain killers were enough today and I have been pain free.

That is great news, Spirit. :T

Masomnia

Happy birthday Pastures Sorry it's slightly late!

Masomnia

Doozergirl wrote: »

And which of those is important exactly? Who is kinder, more gentle, generous, fun, loving, forgiving, more thoughtful, a good ear?

Which qualities are the most valuable? And which of those can you be?

There's limit to all. And some of those, no one can beat you at, if you choose to be them.

Simples.

Precisely that. Trying to compete is pointless, and only leads to unhappiness.

In my experience the people that are the most unpleasant in life are those who feel they have something to prove.

SingleSue

Brilliant news Spirit!

I have very normal, probably very cheap taps fitted well over 20 years ago. One of them started being a bit awkward this summer but I fixed it (I knew that DIY course for ladies would come in handy at some point).

My house is in a state of upheaval, they are coming to fit the new system tomorrow (well starting it all, completion by Wednesday), so nothing is where it should be and it is majorly unsettling. In the old days, it wouldn't have mattered to me so much but since the clean up and decluttering, I want things in their place all the time....and not a lot is in the proper place right now. For a start, my entire utility room has had to be emptied out and the crap from there found a temp home, James' bed has also had to be moved plus some storage towers. The boy's bedroom is quite long but also quite narrow, so not a lot of room to move things around to so it stuff will end up in my room.

Re others having more than me, sometimes the green of jealousy will rise up in me, only natural I think and it does sometimes get me down especially when I think back 10 years ago to when we were one of those families who could afford to do all the things, buy all the things that we see some others doing now. I don't let it get to me too much though as I have my boys, I have fairly good health and life isn't THAT bad.

Finally, picked up a great bargain for one of Josh's presents. He has been after upgrading one of his cymbals for a while now but the make he wants is rather expensive....got one for an absolute steal via Ebay as it had been wrongly labelled and not many saw it, a £200 (when it was new) cymbal for £13! OK, it is second hand but it is in fairly good condition, certainly good enough for a year or two and exactly the make and model he wanted.

LydiaJ

PasturesNew wrote: »

I've never been to a baptism/christening. Never heard of a dedication. I've no godparents (and am not one).
None of us were ever baptised/christened.

Baptism is the original word and has always been the "official" word. Christening just means baptism - usually of an infant. It's a rather old-fashioned word and now almost never used within churches, or not any of the churches I've been involved with, although still quite common among people who don't hang around churches much and haven't caught up with the change in lingo over the last 50 years or so (and greetings card manufacturers ditto). Baptism is a very ancient idea - dating back before Christ - and used originally to be done in rivers etc. The person would be briefly immersed in the water to symbolise washing away everything wrong they'd done, and then drawing a line under the past and beginning a new life. It is the basic faith commitment ceremony of all major Christian denominations.

In the C of E, Roman Catholic, Methodist and some other churches, infants can be baptised (by sprinkling water on their heads) if their parents and godparents make faith promises on their behalf until they are old enough to make a decision for themselves. When these infants grow up, they have a thing called confirmation where young (or older) people can make faith promises for themselves. For the C of E and RC, confirmation is done by a bishop. Those who have not been baptised as infants can be baptised as adults (either by sprinkling water on the head or by immersion in a pool of water or for some adventurous types in a river or the sea) and may then be confirmed later in the same service.

In Baptist and many other churches, infants are not baptised but dedicated - a service like an infant baptism service, but with no water - and the water bit is exclusively for those who are old enough to decide for themselves, with adult baptism by immersion unless that's not possible. Churches are usually built with a pool (called a baptistry) under the floor that can be filled with warm water for use in baptism services, or emptied and covered over when not in use. Churches that practice infant baptism often also allow this as an alternative for parents who would prefer it, and many C of E churches have been installing baptistries.

When my goddaughter was born, her parents belonged to a C of E church that had a completely open policy of offering either infant baptism or dedication without steering parents in either direction. They chose to get her dedicated. LNE and I, and another couple, were godparents.

Does that help explain things? Do ask any further questions if there's any other aspect of it you'd like to know.

ETA Just thought of a question somebody at work asked me after the last time I said I'd been to a baptism service. Full immersion is done with the people fully clothed, and they go off afterwards to a side room to get changed into dry clothes before coming back to join in the rest of the service. My work friend had wondered if it was done in swimwear or less!

Generali

Great news Spirit.

Happy Birthday Boxing Day Pastures.