Wife wants out, but I want to keep the family together. Advice needed

PaulAA_2

Mojisola wrote: »

It's also possible that there is some fault on the OP's side!

Lack of attention, and I don't deny it. But I think this aspect is an easy one to fix.

Mojisola

PaulAA wrote: »

What do you think about the idea of me asking her girlfriends to talk to her about the prospects of the single life? Over the years I have created an environment of a relative financial comfort for her. I think it's going to be a challenge for her to go on her own.

Yes, that should work - get her friends to tell her that she's not competent enough to cope on her own. :rotfl:

PlutoinCapricorn

She may be hoping to get something from you.

PlutoinCapricorn

Are these girlfriends all single?

mgdavid

Let her go; sooner she leaves the better.
Buy out her share of any equity / assets you jointly own.
Move on; like enforced job changes it usually leads to better things.

'The tragedy of marriage is that while all women marry thinking that their man will change, all men marry believing their wife will never change.'

PaulAA_2

PlutoinCapricorn wrote: »

Are these girlfriends all single?

No married, some with kids.

Does it sound like a reasonable thing to do?

whitewing

Don't talk to her girlfriends.

PlutoinCapricorn

Definitely not.

It would make you appear devious and powerless.

fairy_lights

PaulAA wrote: »

What do you think about the idea of me asking her girlfriends to talk to her about the prospects of the single life? Over the years I have created an environment of a relative financial comfort for her. I think it's going to be a challenge for her to go on her own.

Your wife is an adult. I'm pretty sure she understands what single life will be like. Dragging her friends in to your relationship problems is hardly going to make her want you back, is it?
And do you really want a marriage where your wife only stays with you because of the 'financial comfort' you can provide?

PlutoinCapricorn

More quotes, some from the Christian heartland in the US but all confirming what people here have said:

"These women will do anything in their power to justify their selfishness. All one can do is sincerely hope that one day reality slaps them in the face. We, the innocent, have to remain strong for our well being, throw some prayer in there, read some books, find someone to talk to and keep walking forward. Under no circumstances do anything stupid, much less sink down to their level"

"Do positive things to sublimate the depression or anger. Exercise (sports, weight lifting, running) is awesome for this. Get back in shape (if you need to) lose fat, build muscle, work on the six-pack. Get in touch with an old friend. Build or fix something that you've put off. Start keeping a journal for the future. "

" don't beg her to stay, that is one of the many regrets most of the husbands feel on here. Keep your dignity. It still hurts to me to this day, how with both of my ex's, how i cried for them so, and begged them to stay and then later begged them to PLEASE come home, I need you and I love you, on and on. Today I am very, very ashamed of myself for begging them both the way I did. Every man that I know personally has been through this very kind of thing.It's the same story over and over, with not much difference between the stories, only the names change."