How do I live ??

duchy

The user name and content of this post are a bit at odds

Whilst I agree living at home is the best way to get a start on saving for a future -and improving prospects with more education or retraining and at twenty four there are a lot of other choices rather than settle down early ............. Advice like "don't have children" is silly . The poster doesn't know the OP to know if a committed relationship and a family is something he wants one day -even if not now. Plenty of people spent their twenties and later building careers and travelling and didn't consider even thinking about settling down until much later.......others met a life partner early and enjoyed the same childfree lifestyle and didn't have kids for another ten or fifteen years. Both the OP and the poster below both have quite narrow views and aren't open to the choices life can offer.

OP even if you met "the one" tomorrow there's nothing to stop you both living at home and saving for a deposit or moving in together but waiting til you have both established yourselves in careers before having children. Many couples don't even consider children til they are in their thirties ....or even ever. Kids aren't compulsory- and certainly not early in the early years of a relationship. Maybe you are dating women with little ambition themselves careerwise ? Or maybe you assume moving in together automatically means they want kids straight away ?

Cautious_Optimist wrote: »

What's your job?
You need to think about increasing your earnings now.

Because as you get older, the girls you date will become more interested in how much money you have and less interested in how "cool" / good looking you are etc.

Don't have kids. They will tie you down.

Sort out your job prospects and consider taking jobs abroad, with accommodation provided etc.

There are plenty of guys making good money overseas, mining, oil rigs, etc.

It sounds as if you may have narrow horizons or lack ambition.
Who do you mix with socially? What line of work are they in?
Perhaps you should look at chatting to some guys with more life experience..?

Don't go down the "settle down" route now. You're not ready and haven't sorted your life out yet.
Keep yourself free and flexible.

And don't take advice from those people (often women) who think life is all about a couple of kids and a Saturday afternoon looking around B&Q...

If you do, you'll wake up when you're 40. Trapped. By then you'll have probably encountered guys who've been working overseas etc and their crazy stories will make you want to top yourself.

May sound harsh, but get a life...

Mrs_Soup

So are you saving at the moment while your expenses are lower living with your parents? Women work too you know- including after they have children. There are various benefits and supplements to help especially once you have children eg child benefit, tax credits etc. You could work on increasing your earnings now.

dirty_magic

Why are you assuming you're paying all the bills? If you both pay £500 pm into a joint account it's more than enough to cover rent and bills. That leaves you with £500 to spend. It is possible for mothers to work too!

Save as much as you can now when you have no bills to worry about, concentrate on finding a better paid job and stop worrying about supporting a girlfriend and kid that you don't even have yet!

theartfullodger

Pixie5740 wrote: »

I find this quite offensive, making out like women are greedy graspers only interested in someone's bank balance.

.. ...

Couldn't agree more Pixie: There's loads of blokes out there just as much, maybe more, greedy graspers...

fairy_lights

[simon] wrote: »

Everytime I meet girls eventually it leads to them wanting to have a family and rent a flat together.

It's not clear from this whether or not you currently have a girlfriend? If not, I think it's a bit premature to start worrying about how to pay the rent when she gives up her job to be a full time mother!
Assuming you either have a girlfriend or find one soon and decide to move in together, why would having kids be something you would want to immediately rush in to? Most people live together for a while before making that kind of commitment. So assuming you move in with a girlfriend on a similar wage to you, and your bills were the same as you have calculated, you would be left with £1100 to split between you which would be more than enough to live on.
And then, if and when you do have kids, your girlfriend would be entitled to maternity pay, and for all you know she might want to go back to work and YOU would be the one at home looking after the baby. Maybe she would be a super high earner and you would get to live a life of luxury as a house husband.

Honestly this hypothetical girlfriend you're imagining who doesn't work and pumps out babies sounds like a bit of a no hoper!

TBagpuss

As others have said, if you do have a partner then you shoul;d have two incomes coming into the household, not one.

You also talk about renting a 2 bed flat, Many people cannot afford to do that stright off - most of us have to start by sharing - renting a 2 bed flat with a friend, or renting a room in a shared house. It's up to you whether you find that better than living at home or not. It is probably more expensive (unless your parents are charging you full market rates) but you have more independence.

Think about your job. Where is your career going? Are you going to be able to progress and to increase your earnings in the future? Is there scope for promotion? If not, think about what you could do to improve your earning capacity - eving classes to obtain further qulifications, speaking to your emplkoyers about any options for progression, looking at applying for other jobs with better chances for advnacement.

In the mean time, concentrate on saving as much as you can now, while your overheads are low (work out what renting in a shared house would cost you, deduct what you actually pay your parents each month and save the difference every month. That way, you get used to living on a realistic budget, and can see how practical it will be to move out, plus you are making savings towards an eventual deposit etc)

Wanton

[simon] wrote: »

I'm 26,

I'm still at home with parents.

Everytime I meet girls eventually it leads to them wanting to have a family and rent a flat together.

I would like the same, to have my own life, be a man.

But how ?

Private renting for a 2 flat - 400 min

Bills, food - 500 ish

That's 900 gone.

I earn 1 grand, full time job. So left with 100 a month, save that to pay my car insurance, road tax, mots.

So no holidays, no money to buy anything if anything breaks, such as a dep on another car or tv....

If we was to have a family, my partner will be at home looking after baby so she has no income...

So I would really have to have a weekend job as well do we can go out or have a holiday or to extra money to buy a new car if needed. Or repares.

So I will no family time, I hardley see my girl or baby, the relationship breaks down...

So how do i live ? .....

How am I expected to make my own way in life ???

Stay at home untill i am 30 odd saving for a deposit to buy ???

Have no life of my own untill then...just stay with mummy...

I HATE this !!!!

You seem very much in a hurry in life. This bit annoyed me "How am I expected to make my own way in life ???" do you want someone to put it on a plate for you?

1) Look for a room in a shared house close to where you work and learn how to live independently (sell or SORN the car if you can't afford to run it in that time)
2) Make mistakes and learn from them
3) Enjoy your twenties

You're extremely lucky to have youth, a wage and, most importantly, parents to fall back on if things go TU.

societys_child

fairy lights: Honestly this hypothetical girlfriend you're imagining who doesn't work and pumps out babies sounds like a bit of a no hoper!

:rotfl:


Thankfully I wasn't drinking a cup of coffee when I read that, it'd have been all over the keyboard now . . .

mjdh1957

There's a regular poster called kingslayer who mostly dwells on the Marriages and Relationships board who could be the OP's twin brother.

theartfullodger

Suggest you emigrate: Please!