How do I live ??

[simon]

I'm 26,

I'm still at home with parents.

Everytime I meet girls eventually it leads to them wanting to have a family and rent a flat together.

I would like the same, to have my own life, be a man.

But how ?

Private renting for a 2 flat - 400 min

Bills, food - 500 ish

That's 900 gone.

I earn 1 grand, full time job. So left with 100 a month, save that to pay my car insurance, road tax, mots.

So no holidays, no money to buy anything if anything breaks, such as a dep on another car or tv....

If we was to have a family, my partner will be at home looking after baby so she has no income...

So I would really have to have a weekend job as well do we can go out or have a holiday or to extra money to buy a new car if needed. Or repares.

So I will no family time, I hardley see my girl or baby, the relationship breaks down...

So how do i live ? .....

How am I expected to make my own way in life ???

Stay at home untill i am 30 odd saving for a deposit to buy ???

Have no life of my own untill then...just stay with mummy...

I HATE this !!!!

wiogs

Meet someone with money.

olias

Buy cheaper food, use less gas and electric, buy a cheaper car or use public transport, bike or shanks poney. Apply for wtc. Etc etc etc

Olias

ess0two

Ditch the car,cut down on bills,we've all been here.

BigAunty

You seem unaware of housing benefit, council tax discount and inwork benefits for low income people or couples with children like working tax and child tax credits.

The government have changed the rules over the past few years to try and reduce the benefit bill. However, a few years back, a couple with 3 kids earning 34k through employment were hardly any better off than an identical family with identical rental costs where the household earned 9k (due to the steep withdrawal of benefits and entry into taxation for the higher income family).

This wasn't a Daily Mail headline but the DWPs own figures in a set of comparison tables. Part of the reason that the Tories want to bring in the Universal Credit system to replace some of the current suite of benefits is because tax credits are a known disincentive for some households to enter employment, increase their hours, etc.

So use the Turn2us online benefit calculator to model different scenarios, such as identifying how much state support you may qualify for if you have a low wage and 1, 2, 3 kids with a stay at home mum.

Again, a bit out of date, but I have a friend with 2 kids where her husband worked in a national minimum wage job earning around £200 a week and they had a signicant part of their rent paid through housing benefit, a reduced council tax bill, they qualified for working tax credits (a couple only has to work 24 hours to qualify for WTC if their income is low enough), child tax credits and child benefit.

I can't really remember the figures but the chances are that their income was more than doubled, possibly trebled through state support. To quote my friend 'The money the govt throw at us is stupid'. They did live frugally (didn't run a car, preferred home cooking from scratch rather than ready meals, didn't drink, weren't into designer labels, etc) but they could afford long haul holidays.

BigAunty

[simon] wrote: »

So no holidays, no money to buy anything if anything breaks, such as a dep on another car or tv....

If we was to have a family, my partner will be at home looking after baby so she has no income...

So I would really have to have a weekend job as well do we can go out or have a holiday or to extra money to buy a new car if needed. Or repares.

So I will no family time, I hardley see my girl or baby, the relationship breaks down...

There is someone on the relationship forum who is arguing that only those under the age of 21, people prefering casual employment because they are students, for example, or with special needs should be on the National Minimum Wage. As far as they are concerned, those with low incomes are failures who ought to take a hard look at themselves to identify why they lack the drive and resourcefulness to get a proper paying job.

Back to your post - why are you running a car when you have such a low wage?

Before the advent of in work benefits, my parent's generation would have both parents in employment. For example, in the 70s and 80s, my father worked a 5.5 day week during the day as the norm plus regular overtime (whereas weekend working and longer hours for you seems a last resort).

Meanwhile, because their child-rearing pre-dated the era of paid child care under the current tax credit system so wasn't affordable, my mother had a part time job at night and weekends. Again, this is repugnant to you as it apparently means the loss of 'quality family time' which clearly didn't have as much importance then as they both worked despite bringing up 3 kids and their marriage is still going strong after 50 years. Such neglect!

Cautious_Optimist

What's your job?
You need to think about increasing your earnings now.

Because as you get older, the girls you date will become more interested in how much money you have and less interested in how "cool" / good looking you are etc.

Don't have kids. They will tie you down.

Sort out your job prospects and consider taking jobs abroad, with accommodation provided etc.

There are plenty of guys making good money overseas, mining, oil rigs, etc.

It sounds as if you may have narrow horizons or lack ambition.
Who do you mix with socially? What line of work are they in?
Perhaps you should look at chatting to some guys with more life experience..?

Don't go down the "settle down" route now. You're not ready and haven't sorted your life out yet.
Keep yourself free and flexible.

And don't take advice from those people (often women) who think life is all about a couple of kids and a Saturday afternoon looking around B&Q...

If you do, you'll wake up when you're 40. Trapped. By then you'll have probably encountered guys who've been working overseas etc and their crazy stories will make you want to top yourself.

May sound harsh, but get a life...

zebulon

[simon] wrote: »

it leads to them wanting to have a family and rent a flat together.

[...]
That's 900 gone.

Erg no that's 450. Why would she not pay?

If we was to have a family, my partner will be at home looking after baby so she has no income...

I see. Why would you move in with someone and have a baby straight away is beyond me personally. But she would be on maternity leave from work right? not left without any income.

How am I expected to make my own way in life ???

I flat shared from 20 to 31 (first year abroad accommodation paid by work). Brother and other cousins in my family lived at parents until 30, saved money, studied, worked. Now all have their own house + kids.

Get priorities right. I was on £1200 for a while. Didn't own TV , Didn't expect to go on wild holidays abroad (never owned a credit card). My car was my main expense but I enjoyed having it at the time.

It's not a walk in the park for everyone else but you.

MadelinesMum

Living with a partner is not the be all and end all. I wish I never rushed into it. Set your sights on improving your income - perhaps a college course or start a new job with more prospects?

Good luck.

Pixie5740

Cautious_Optimist wrote: »

What's your job?
You need to think about increasing your earnings now.

Because as you get older, the girls you date will become more interested in how much money you have and less interested in how "cool" / good looking you are etc.

I find this quite offensive, making out like women are greedy graspers only interested in someone's bank balance.

Cautious_Optimist wrote: »

And don't take advice from those people (often women) who think life is all about a couple of kids and a Saturday afternoon looking around B&Q...

Where do you get this rubbish from?!

OP, you're clearly not happy being 26 and still living at home. Only you can change this. What do you want out of life? Do you want to settle down and have 2.4 children? Do you want to see something of the world? Do you enjoy your current job or would you like to do something else? Can you retrain, get some new qualifications or start up your own business?

You're 26, making £1,000 a month and living at home so have very few outgoings, surely you have some savings behind you which you could use to do any of the things I've suggested above.

You just need to to figure out what you want and have some gumption.

jtr2803

So your basic issue here are your earnings really? Only you have the ability to increase those....

At 24 I took on a trainee job which meant a massive pay cut, I worked in a pub at weekends to make ends meet and within 4 years I'd doubled my salary through nothing but hard work, dedication and ambition.

Luck doesn't hand these things to you, you have to get a plan and work for it like 95% of the rest of us, you still have plenty of time to do so.