Changing for good...a new start!

cazmanian_minx

Fingers crossed You're coping amazingly well, but do remember to take time for yourself as well as being there for your dad xx

Baldybear

So its friday, thank goodness, 2 days off. A few things to do, order Xmas turkey, pay in cheques but nothing too strenuous, hopefully can relax a bit.

Got final vet bill £157 plus the £622.50 Paid it on my Sains CC, have a plan to clear this in next few days, all part of master plan to get debt free, hopefully will review over the xmas break and come back here afresh. Good news is she has had her stitches out yesterday and the wound seems to have healed well. She is still in for a few days, hopefully put her out for few hours on sunday, see how she goes then proper turn out next week, fingers and hooves crossed.

Good thing expenses landed so £54 to savings account, bad thing need cam belt changed, should have had it done in March but was too skint, was going to save to have it done in February with MOT and service but got lots of long drives in January so cant afford to have car troubles so have booked it in for next week, £549 :eek: Will work out this cost to go in my master plan too.

Had a row with energy supplier this morning, luckily went my way. So gas account 12p in credit, currently pay £16 DD, this is roughly right, they wanted to decrease to £7.07 monthly, asked them to reinstate to £16, would have ended up owing them money, idiots! But worse was the electric pay £35 a month, according to their chart use approx £28 a month, am currently £12 in credit, they wanted to increase to £65 a month :mad: argued with the guy he said can we agree on £40, no !!!!!! we cant, leave it at £35, still probably get credit on this anyway, you are just being ridiculous, we wait to see but eventually agreed with me. Just hope they keep it as it is till next review in June or will be :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad: and make an official complaint straight to the top!

Still tired, house still a wreck, did have a wee sort out of some bits last night, e.g. made a pile of urgent stuff, worked out what wasnt urgent and put it in a box to deal with when in a better frame of mind. Not the best organisational skills but for now it works for me Have got Xmas bits down from loft so hope to have some time to put these up over the weekend. Went to bed at 9.30 last night as shattered, woke up at 3 for wee then couldnt get back to sleep till 5.30 ish, not the plan so still shattered this morning and didnt make till work till 9.15 again No one has said anything so far so thats good. Try again tonight for an early night, think got cold now too so thats just great :cool:

Times like these really miss my mum, with feeling tired, ill, shattered and skint she may have not been able to help but she would come round or just be on the end of the phone to listen to me moan and that really helped, just feel a bit lost at the moment that I dont have that anymore

Sorry for the ramble and moan, one day it will be a good posting

Baldybear

Just another small moan we are not getting a Christmas bonus this year but whoop de doo got a !!!!!!! box of wine !!!!!!, will try and flog that to make some dosh.

DebtFree2012

This may sound silly to some, but still talk to your Mum if it helps, even though she isn't physically with you, it will do no harm. No I'm not crazy. We just all have different ways of coping.

You should be proud, you are coping extremely well I am sure.

Baldybear

DebtFree2012 wrote: »

This may sound silly to some, but still talk to your Mum if it helps, even though she isn't physically with you, it will do no harm. No I'm not crazy. We just all have different ways of coping.

You should be proud, you are coping extremely well I am sure.

Thank you I do talk to her all the time, just miss her being able to support me back

I spoke to one of mums friends on friday night, he has been very helpful in advice as he has been in similar situation, know can ring him again so may do.

So weekend started ok, saturday went and ordered Xmas turkey, I am paying for this and sister is providing all other food so good trade off Went to mine and sister and nephew helped me put up my Xmas decorations. Dropped them back of home and then came home and hoovered all of my house, still some cleaning to do, kitchen floor, all of bathroom but definitely an improvement.

Bad thing over saturday is working out dad and sisters finances, at the moment brother in law is out of work although frantically job hunting. As it stands neither dad nor helen can live in their respective houses short term financially. The issue with dad is also physical as he is finding it hard to cope with stairs and also issues with his memory. A forward plan looks like that dad and sister will sell up and buy one property together, going to look into this, depends on a lot of things but definitely something we are considering at the moment. If that does happen hopefully will have enough to give me some extra money to be able to buy ex out of the house. Just waiting to see what happens really.

So sunday was ok, put hoss out for the first time after her accident, she was very good, no major rushing around. So plan was to go home and finish cleaning house, although got stinking cold, felt ok. No luck decided I didnt have enough !!!! to deal with and had a puncture :mad::( Luckily bro in law rescued me to change tyre but spending morning at tyre shop and another £60 is not what I need at the moment :( So went home for the afternoon and was tired and fed up so went to bed for a few hours as was shattered which was good but means didnt sleep much last night so was shattered again this morning :cool:

So was going to speak to my lodger regarding needing to raise the rental, people did say needed to give notice, but financially really need the money now, but he beat me to it, he wants to look for somewhere closer to work, which is fair enough, so he is starting to look around now. Hopefully this will be a blessing as leaving the rent for now and going to re-advertise the room at a higher rent. Watch this space on that really. Cant afford not to have a lodger but even with the higher rental I need its still under market rates for the area, so fingers crossed can get a new lodger shortly.

Just totally fed up at the moment, wondering when will catch a break So have had mum dying, worries with dad with health, dementia and loneliness, sisters operation, dad and sisters precarious financial situation, my financial situation, injured horse with the big vet bill, big car bill already for cam belt change and then now tyre change. Also worries about lodger but he is still around at the moment so bills covered for now.

Really do need some good luck soon please

Shovel_Lad

Maybe now would be a good time to think about repaying your dad the £60K (or was it more?) he has tied up in your house. Not to mention all the other money your parents lent you that has never be repaid. Then maybe he wouldn't be struggling for money.

Seriously - you think you can get more money out of him if he sells his house when you already owe him tens of thousands and his fiancial situation is "precarious" (your word, not mine). :huh:

I could not live with myself knowing my elderly widowed father was having to sell his house because I owed him money.

Baldybear

Shovel_Lad wrote: »

Maybe now would be a good time to think about repaying your dad the £60K (or was it more?) he has tied up in your house. Not to mention all the other money your parents lent you that has never be repaid. Then maybe he wouldn't be struggling for money.

Seriously - you think you can get more money out of him if he sells his house when you already owe him tens of thousands and his fiancial situation is "precarious" (your word, not mine). :huh:

I could not live with myself knowing my elderly widowed father was having to sell his house because I owed him money.

Do you know what if you havent got anything nice to say why dont you just go !!!! yourself! Seriously all you do is comment on my diary with negative comments, not one nice thing, really who do you think you are.

For your records, although I dont know why I am explaining myself to, you the £65K from my parents was a gift to enable me to buy my house. I could sell up and give it back to him but would then be homeless as couldnt afford to buy it and that would be the last thing that my mum (and dad) would have wanted! Yes his financial situation isnt great, but we are working our way round it, to the point that we are looking at him living permanently with my sister if we can. He cant live where he is, not only due to financial reasons but he has early onset dementia, problems with stairs (current house doesnt have downstairs loo), he has chronic arthritis in one ankle so its not practical.

Do you know one day you may find yourself in a similar situation where you have lost one parent and have another one with lots of issues that you worry constantly 24/7 about the right thing to do, dementia, disability on top of grief is not an easy thing to deal with.

Right now I would happily swap lives with you and you can deal with it all, because frankly it horrible and hard and if I could run away tomorrow I would. All I want is my mum back and she isnt coming back and I (and my sister) are trying our best to deal with a tricky situation. It sucks and I feel depressed, fed up and on the brink of losing it all the time. Want to swap? I dont think so!:mad:

Buffythedebtslayer

BB I wish I had the words to help I really do. My only advice is to feel what you feel. and do what you do. Anything to make you feel a tiny chink of betterness. I know that a moment's relief is enough to get through to the next minute. this period of utter chaos and devastating pain does pass I promise. It won't always feel so hellishly painful. truthfully it won't.

(and I think your response above was very impressive)

Make sure you are eating and have a routine involving tea and horses. Post again soon.

Love Buffy XX

Chrysalis1976

How sad and ironic that this person posts on the thread that banishes spam posts, it's just as bad. How rude, inconsiderate and just uncalled for. That is all.

BB please make sure you don't burn yourself out, just tackle a little bit a day, have a good nights sleep.

C x

Shovel_Lad

Baldybear wrote: »

Right now I would happily swap lives with you and you can deal with it all, because frankly it horrible and hard and if I could run away tomorrow I would. All I want is my mum back and she isnt coming back and I (and my sister) are trying our best to deal with a tricky situation. It sucks and I feel depressed, fed up and on the brink of losing it all the time. Want to swap? I dont think so!:mad:

You are not the only person having a tough time right now - I would swap places with you in a heartbeat.