Changing for good...a new start!

Baldybear

lucielle wrote: »

How are things, BB?
L

Hello, thanks fro dropping by and apologies for not updating. Been manic, had the funeral which was lovely, over 120 people My mum would have been proud. Still not over yet as she wants to be interred in her parents grave so currently organising that.

Hoss is doing ok, vet back again today to check up on her, healing well and she is being very good with box rest.

Dad doing ok slowly getting on top of a few things for him, carers and the like, still need to sort out meals, finances, some bills still in mums name, slowly slowly.

Sister had to have small op yesterday to have her salivary gland removed, had to keep her in overnight so had nephew to stay round, he was very well behaved. Just been one thing after each other.

11 and half days left at work till 2 weeks off, I can not wait. Will be able to sort all the rest of the outstanding finances for dad, my house is a tip so need to sort that out and just try and get organised with the world.

Have kept up to date with a few surveys just so they tick by but need to have a proper sort out and see where I am with everything.

The 2 weeks off work will be busy but will enable me to get on top of everything

I also want to start a new DFW diary, a diary for mum as she always wanted me to be debt free and achieve my goals so if I can do that I know she would be very proud.

I have started on Xmas, bought nephews present, had £32 amazon vouchers saved so only spent £8 hard cash on top of that. Still need to sort other family but none of us have thought about that yet!

Baldybear

Afternoon, would says good but just not feeling it, just bah with the world (as expected I suppose)

So a few more things crossed of the list for dads finances, bills etc, sent a few forms off, still lots to do, organised online banking over the weekend, least know for now all his bills are covered and accounts will basically run themselves, few minor tweaks but getting there. Wiped out half his savings with funeral costs but will be able to re-coup some of that with mums life insurance payout, sent forms of today so hopefully not too long. He will be tight but comfortable. But really will not be able to help too many "extras" that mum used to do for both me and her which will be missed. Time to stand on our own 2 feet, we can do it, we didnt expect the extras but parents always wanted to do it for us. Of course would change it all and give everything up moneywise to have mum back but that wont happen

So have paid of my CC which had start of funeral costs, got rest stashed in savings to pay for final bill when that arrives.

Re my own finances, my savings target for next year to cover insurances, car etc is £1653, still been saving a wee bit on this, currently at £209, so still a long way of but at least a start.

My barclaycard has gone up, but other debts have gone down, the majority of this is on 0% but ends February next year, have no pennies to pay this off, have to think about this over the xmas break.

So just to add to my misery had my first vet bill in for the horses stitches. There is still one to come in for her visit on thursday, where fingers and hooves crossed she can have her stitches out and then start going out soon. But the damage so far is £622.50 So have paid it today, put it back on the just cleared Sains CC, now another amount to try and find to pay off!

Will come back here soon properly over the xmas break to work out where I am and start again. Signature is way out of date so need to re-do that too.

My mums interment for ashes to her parents grave is booked for 22nd Dec, be good to say a final goodbye. And its local, just up the road from where I work and only 10 mins drive from home so can go and say hello everyday if I need to talk.

Baldybear

Feeling pretty crap with the world at the moment, just so much to do with dad and organising finances, bills, care etc. Trying to organise bits for dad so not lonely too. Hard when he rings up several times a day for random questions, sometimes just want to switch my phone off but I cant. On the whole cant moan about dad he is doing brilliantly but it is hard.

Hoss not well just not helping. Sister poorly with her op so feeling sorry for herself but she is doing her fair share of things so cant moan but do seem to be supporting her too at the moment.

House is a tip, work is ok but behind on a lot and to be honest am just doing what needs doing this year and everything else will just have to wait until I get back in January. My brain just cant cope with everything all at once.

I still need to sort my own finances, my house etc out. My to do list is way too long but suppose will get there eventually.

I just feel like I havent grieved for mum as havent had time, havent stopped to breathe at all, am just so very tired at the moment, but finding it difficult to get to sleep at night, just toss and turn for no reason. But then struggle to get up in the morning. Was late this morning, by the time I did the hoss (which is more at the moment due to her being in) came home made sandwich lunch as had vet at lunchtime, and then crappy traffic didnt make it to work till 9.15, meant to be there at 8.30 But to be honest at the moment I am thinking I have 9 days left, if I am late for those 9 days then so be it, I can start afresh in january, hopefully things wont be as stressed as they are, things can be in place, care, meals, finances etc for everyone and we can have some sort of routine. This 2 weeks of work will be busy but will enable me to get straight somehow as cant go on like this for much longer its just too much.

I am just so tired and bah with the world, not really happy just getting on with life and just so so. Hope something goes right soon, definitely had my share of bad luck in last 2 months. Just hope albeit a busy xmas break will be a nice one, will be just close family on xmas day, me, dad, sis, bro in law and nephew so will miss mum, but with a 5 year old boy who is always smiling hopefully it wont be too sad, there will be some smiles and laughter.

For now am accepting that I wont be 100% for a while yet, wont feel happy but just to say thats ok and just take a day at a time.

Sorry for the ramble but just typing as I think!

Chrysalis1976

Hi BB sorry things are not great, it will take time for all that's happened to be able to deal with and adjust in some way. Do you have any time off over Xmas, it won't be a time to celebrate no doubt but you can recharge your batteries and have some space to grieve and reflect.

Ouch to horsey costs, not what you need but not something you'd ever neglect x

Can you speak to work about flexi start time to help you in the morning, just while horsey gets better?

Hope you get a good rest tonight, best wishes for less stressful day tomorrow.

C x

DebtFree2012

Don't expect too much from yourself. Give yourself a break and forget the finances for now. Do what you can and no more. Go to the docs to see if they can give you anything to sleep though I've heard you can feel worse when you wake up for a couple of hours, so talk it through with them. If he thinks you needs to, take some sick time. That's what it's there for, if you are feeling stressed and down.

You are doing great, do not beat yourself up x

clearmydebts

Hi BB,


Just try and get through the next 9 working days as best as you can. Hopefully you will get the chance over Christmas to stop and draw breath and sleep.


Don't be too hard on yourself. You are doing so well.


Thoughts are with you xxx

Baldybear

Thanks for dropping by, its most appreciated. Unfortunately cant take any more time of work, already had 9 days taken as compassionate leave (over and above my annual leave allowance), they have paid all of those so very grateful. Am also taking extra time of already (long lunch breaks) for my vet visits so to take any more time of would take the pee. Luckily though only a few days left till Xmas break. Finish work on the 18th and dont go back to 4 January so a lovely long break to look forward to.

A few more things sorted today, few more forms filled in, prescription sent of, blood tests booked, another few things of the list.

Not sure about tablets for sleeping, sleep enough as it is, I just feel its because trying to do it all, but at least over the xmas break wont need to rush around as much and hopefully can relax a bit more. Only 15 minutes late for work but am not stressing about it, just get up, do hoss and get to work when I can and that will suffice for the 9 odd days I have left.

One small good thing today, £19 landed from survey site, have sent to savings account for now for insurance costs. Over the xmas break will have a proper review.

mfmaybe

BB things sound very overwhelming for you, not surprisingly. Sorry to hear about your horse on top of everything,and the unexpected vets bill. It's amazing how quickly they ramp up. Do make sure the vets know you aren't insured so that they can have open discussions about treatment options.

I agree about trying not to let money worries be a thing just now. Just look after yourself as best as you can and hopefully get a bit of downtime over Christmas. Do you still have your lodger (sorry I haven't been keeping up since DS arrived).

Is it worth talking to work just to let them know you are struggling a little bit? Maybe just acknowledging that you aren't on top of your game right now but you are aware and that it's temporary? If you are open about it, you can discuss expectations for the next couple of months and it might take the pressure off your worries in this department?

Thinking about you a lot. I hope you get a great big dose of good luck soon.

LAM2011

Ouch to vet bill! Been thinking of you - you have so much on your plate.

I agree with everything mfmaybe said. And if work offer you some more time - take it. When I lost a parent I was lucky enough to have a very understanding boss who agreed it was the worst thing in the world and gave me lots of compassionate leave. x

Baldybear

Thank you all again for dropping by, it really is appreciated

Work have been great, am only doing what I need, no one shouting yet and if they do will shout back, only a few days left so not worrying, Got here at 9 today which isnt too bad.

Doing a few quick back of the envelope calculations and am going to ask my lodger for a rise in rent, really do need the money and the rooms is at a reasonable rate for the area even with the raise. Am going to ask for an extra £50 a month, know he can afford it, if he doesnt want will need to look elsewhere. I worked out if I can get the £50 a month, will have enough, if I stick to budget to save £95 a month which would cover all my annual bills car, insurance etc. Would leave me very tight with only £27 to spare. Would have no "extra" for debt overpayments, the budget would be just the minimum but can use the extras I get now to hammer those debts down. Will work out and see what I can do. Going to broach the subject tonight and then get the increase on next pay day, due end december/beginning of January so will be able to start the new year afresh.