Opinions please.

raven83

Basically will keep this brief......

Parents died over 10 years ago, we then had their ashes burried in the local cemetery with a plaque, this has to be renewed every 5 years, last 5 years my siblings and I (5 of us all together contributed to renewing it) but the renewal is almost due again and it is around £205 for another 5 years, my 2 older brothers have stated that they no longer wish to contribute and am not bothered about renewing it now as they have "their memories" of our parents (but they can easily afford to) my other sister has stated that as much as should would like to, she cannot afford it as it will be about £70 each as the other two siblings aren't chipping in, fair enough she don't have loads of money, so it is left down to my older sister and I to pay the amount if we wish to renew and this will be over £100 each.

I personally want to renew, even though I don't go there as much as I should, I still feel that they should have some sort of memorial, but now my other sister has said she can't afford it as it is over £100. So now it is left to me to pay. So I was wondering what people's opinions would be if I wasn't to renew and not have a memorial anymore, would it be that bad or would it not really make much of a difference? Just a bit torn at the moment, because I want to renew but £200 odd quid is a lot to come up with, especially at this time of year with Xmas not far off and birthdays coming up.

What would you do?

victory

raven83 wrote: »

Basically will keep this brief......

Parents died over 10 years ago, we then had their ashes burried in the local cemetery with a plaque, this has to be renewed every 5 years, last 5 years my siblings and I (5 of us all together contributed to renewing it) but the renewal is almost due again and it is around £205 for another 5 years, my 2 older brothers have stated that they no longer wish to contribute and am not bothered about renewing it now as they have "their memories" of our parents (but they can easily afford to) my other sister has stated that as much as should would like to, she cannot afford it as it will be about £70 each as the other two siblings aren't chipping in, fair enough she don't have loads of money, so it is left down to my older sister and I to pay the amount if we wish to renew and this will be over £100 each.

I personally want to renew, even though I don't go there as much as I should, I still feel that they should have some sort of memorial, but now my other sister has said she can't afford it as it is over £100. So now it is left to me to pay. So I was wondering what people's opinions would be if I wasn't to renew and not have a memorial anymore, would it be that bad or would it not really make much of a difference? Just a bit torn at the moment, because I want to renew but £200 odd quid is a lot to come up with, especially at this time of year with Xmas not far off and birthdays coming up.

What would you do?

Not sure why the plaque needs renewing every 5 years?

Did you all know that when you paid the first time that it would further cost every 5 years?

Mojisola

Like your brothers, I have my memories of my parents within me.

We kept Mum's ashes until Dad died and then scattered their ashes together at a favourite spot.

gettingtheresometime

Sorry but I'm not sure what this charge is for - can you expand further?

burnoutbabe

I'd find out how much it was to have a permanent thing done and then that be the final cost.

raven83

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Sorry but I'm not sure what this charge is for - can you expand further?

It is just how my council works, if you have a memorial plaque down the cemetery then you have to renew it or they remove it, the money goes to my City council and yes we all knew that would have to renew when we first had it done. I feel quite annoyed because I had originally kept their ashes with me on the mantle piece for about 2 years and it was my siblings who kept on going on about getting a rose bush and plaque for them at the cemetery, I wish I had just kept them now.

Mojisola

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Sorry but I'm not sure what this charge is for - can you expand further?

It's to keep the funds coming in.

The initial payment is for "rent" for the space the plaque takes up and there will always be an ongoing cost. Add it up over 50+ years!

CH27

I wouldn't spend £205 every 5 years.

Could you buy a rose & plant it in your garden to remember them?

raven83

It seems like most people are in view of not renewing it, I just don't want to feel guilty that's all.

Pollycat

In the 3 years since my Dad died, I think I've only been to his grave a couple of times.

I don't need to, he's not there.
He's in my heart and I remember him at all sorts of odd times.

But - it's how you feel about your parents' ashes that's important.

gettingtheresometime

raven83 wrote: »

It is just how my council works, if you have a memorial plaque down the cemetery then you have to renew it or they remove it, the money goes to my City council and yes we all knew that would have to renew when we first had it done. I feel quite annoyed because I had originally kept their ashes with me on the mantle piece for about 2 years and it was my siblings who kept on going on about getting a rose bush and plaque for them at the cemetery, I wish I had just kept them now.

Wow - you learn something new every day!

Is the plaque where the ashes are buried or is it on some sort of wall?

If its the later I don't think I would bother; its not where the ashes are buried but I would probably feel differently if it was the former.

I must admit I've never heard of this sort of thing with cemeteries - it almost reduces them to those of schemes you see at football grounds etc of sponsoring a stone