Opinions please.

missbiggles1

raven83 wrote: »

The plaques are on top of where their ashes were buried.

I know my parents are no longer there and I think of them every day, but it just feels sad that they would no longer have any sort of memorial. Maybe I am just being silly but I find it a comfort that I can go somewhere and know they was there IYSWIM.

Surely their ashes will still be there and that's the point rather than the plaque?

Billie-S

Soleil_lune wrote: »

What about getting a wee plaque made yourself (just £30-£40 worth,) with your parents names and dates of birth and death, for you to hang in the house???

I think if the others are not going to help you, then I would (sadly,) allow the plaque to be taken down, and as I said, maybe get your own personal plaque made.

By the way, I LOVE that poem above that Thorsoak put above ^^^. I have loved this for years. Such a touching poem.

peachyprice wrote: »

Can you not take the existing plaque home when the 5 years runs out to put in your garden? I wouldn't just let the council throw it away, it's yours, you paid for it!

I agree with what Soleil Lune said, that you could get a little plaque made up of your own, for you to keep, that has the birth and death dates of your folks. ALSO, as Peachy says, I fail to see why you can't keep the plaque that the council put up. What else are they going to do with it? Bin it?

Although, knowing the council, they will probably be pedantic enough to say you can't have it, and then they'll just scrap it. (I hope not though!)

raven83

Thanks people for all your views and opinions etc, certainly given me something to think about. I think I will call the council tomorrow and find out if I would be able to keep the plaques as I can't see what else they will do with them and I will then make my own little memorial in the garden.

I do feel kind of sad though at the thought that they will no longer be in the garden of remembrance, and that my siblings aren't prepared to chip in to have it renewed, I would pay for it myself, but £200 is a lot for me to fork out on my own, and I know my dad would be saying not to waste money on such a thing, but I can't help think that my siblings are a bit cold, especially my brothers. But I will have a think about it, still got 2 months to decide and if I really find it hard not to have their plaque renewed I will pay for it myself.

Errata

raven83 wrote: »

The plaques are on top of where their ashes were buried.

I know my parents are no longer there and I think of them every day, but it just feels sad that they would no longer have any sort of memorial. Maybe I am just being silly but I find it a comfort that I can go somewhere and know they was there IYSWIM.

You'll still know where the ashes are without a label. The Council isn't going to dig them up.

PlymouthMaid

It is a bit sad but I wouldn't want to keep paying the Council. Make a spot of your own for remembrance. Maybe you can sneak some of the earth from the current plot as a symbolic thing.

hunnie

Hello Raven and I am sorry for your loss and that you are having to deal with this dilemma.
I am appalled that your council is making revenue out of this. A one off fee should suffice. There is no maintenance involved.


When my husband died over 30 years ago I bought a plot at a local cemetery and had his ashes interred, so that our 3 children(8, 5, and born 4months later) and his relatives who live a distance away would have somewhere to visit if they so chose.
This cost a one off fee. I pay no ongoing costs.
The council maintain the plot.
I have subsequently interred the ashes of both of my parents for one off fees.
As already mentioned by someone else, I also have a page in the remembrance book at the local crematorium again for a one off fee at the time which is on a different site, different town and different council from the burial plot.
In addition, at the time, I used a small corner of our living room and had pictures of my husband there so that was a constant personal reminder of him.
I rarely go to the grave now.
Only at Christmas and our anniversary so twice a year. Though, of course, I think of him often.
You don't need to pay this fee but can if you would rather go one more renewal. I would agree with creating your own memorial at your home/garden. Obtain the plaque if you can as its yours and no use to the council.
As you state, you have a couple of months to think about it.
Best wishes,
Hunnie

missbiggles1

raven83 wrote: »

Thanks people for all your views and opinions etc, certainly given me something to think about. I think I will call the council tomorrow and find out if I would be able to keep the plaques as I can't see what else they will do with them and I will then make my own little memorial in the garden.

I do feel kind of sad though at the thought that they will no longer be in the garden of remembrance, and that my siblings aren't prepared to chip in to have it renewed, I would pay for it myself, but £200 is a lot for me to fork out on my own, and I know my dad would be saying not to waste money on such a thing, but I can't help think that my siblings are a bit cold, especially my brothers. But I will have a think about it, still got 2 months to decide and if I really find it hard not to have their plaque renewed I will pay for it myself.

As posted earlier, your parents' ashes will stay in the same place, it's just the plaque that's moving.

FatVonD

Was a rose bush planted on the spot the ashes were buried? If it was is there any chance you could take a cutting (or even dig up) the rose bush that has thrived on the spot your parents ashes were buried?

Even if nothing was planted maybe you could take a handful of soil from the spot knowing that, however small, there will still be some trace of your parents and put that in your garden when you are planting your rose? The plaque sounds a lovely idea, my mum screwed one to a bench in her garden for my dad

Mrs_Soup

If you stop paying for it can you get the council to give you the plaque then you could at least keep that yourself.
Personally we don't do visiting graves and whatnot in our family so I probably wouldn't have had it in the first place.

CH27

raven83 wrote: »

Thanks people for all your views and opinions etc, certainly given me something to think about. I think I will call the council tomorrow and find out if I would be able to keep the plaques as I can't see what else they will do with them and I will then make my own little memorial in the garden.

I do feel kind of sad though at the thought that they will no longer be in the garden of remembrance, and that my siblings aren't prepared to chip in to have it renewed, I would pay for it myself, but £200 is a lot for me to fork out on my own, and I know my dad would be saying not to waste money on such a thing, but I can't help think that my siblings are a bit cold, especially my brothers. But I will have a think about it, still got 2 months to decide and if I really find it hard not to have their plaque renewed I will pay for it myself.

Their ashes will still be there love.