Middle names?

Tiddlywinks

Your OH has chosen the first names for both boy and girl and is insisting on approving middle names as well... How is that fair and equal?

If you didn't mean those earlier comments, why did you write them? Slip of the tongue?

Sorry but you are coming across as an apologist for your OH and his family... not a good start to life for any child is it?

Indie_Kid

notanewuser wrote: »

My DD's first name is Italian and her first middle name is Welsh, her second middle name (my surname) is Irish and her surname is from the North of England. :rotfl:

I did used to know someone whose first name was French, middle name was Welsh and surname was English. His first name was also an English ladies' name.

I'm all for discussing whether this and that name will go; but I don't like the idea of having him "approve" names.

purpleshoes_2

Its not about the middle names, its about the control hes exerting over you about this matter.

When I saw the thread my first thought was to say wait until you are pregnant

Now it just sounds like your partner is a complete eejit.

You are giving birth to the baby and you aren't allowed to choose the middle names?

Defend him if you like, but I can't see very much to defend. Id also say have a real think about whether you want to have a child or two with this person.

FBaby

I do find it odd that compromise would be one parent choosing one name and the other choosing the other (ie. middle). I always thought that it was the basis of mutual respect that both should like the names, hence why it can take 9 months to agree!! I wouldn't have been happy for my children to have a name I didn't like and wouldn't have wanted my OH to feel the same.

Mrs_Soup

My children have two middle names each, one of which is my maiden name. TBH I wish I hadn't bothered with the other middle name. having names from the family or that reflect your roots is a great idea. Mt nephews have French middle names because their grandma (my MIL) is French. If your children are having their fathers surname I would have thought he could concede on the middle names. I like the name Shazia for a girl, I think that is a Pakistani name and its really pretty.
Go and register the birth yourself and put down whatever you want.

j.e.j.

lulu_92 wrote: »

I think everyone is making it out to be a lot worse.
<snip>
I am a bit miffed to see that a few of you are suggesting that I shouldn't spend my life with him because of a little dispute over a child's name, one that hasn't even been conceived yet! I am aware that you are entitled to your own opinions and I welcome those but I think that is a harsh suggestion. He has never spoken about my race or background negatively and always treats my family and I with nothing but respect. I know this guy very well, if he didn't like my background he would have done a runner three years ago.

Of course they are, - that's what they do on this board. And then they wonder why people sign in as an AE.. :wall:


I can't see anywhere in your posts where you have asked for advice on your contraception, your choice of partner or your decision to have a child, but the usual suspects are on here spouting their stuff anyway

lulu_92 wrote: »

Can I have some actual name ideas again now please?!

You'll be lucky :rotfl:

lulu_92

I've only skimmed past the comments as I'm on my phone

Yes I'm 22, plenty of people were married with kids before my age and I'm not just talking about nowadays.

My OH bought this house 7 years ago so we are in steady housing but we are looking for somewhere bigger.

I'm a bit awkward with words so I didn't mean that he was forbidding anything I meant it more along the lines of that he was not liking the names I picked and pulled a face. I mentioned the name Tariq as that's my uncle's middle name and he flat out told me that he doesn't like Pakistani male names but not because he is racist. I understand how my comments came across though so apologies.

Believe me, I wouldn't even consider children with this guy if it was how you think it is. His family saying stuff whether directly or indirectly don't bother me much ad we hardly see them so it's probably because they don't know me very well.

As for the approval thing, I want him to like the names our future kids have, is that a crime?

I know he's not rejecting my heritage simply because of how he is, if he didn't like it he would not be with me and he would not be wanting to have kids with me.

The reason we are getting these discussions out of the way is because of something I referred to in the TTC thread which is a bit private for here but it basically means that we won't be as excited about these things as we should be so we are deciding (albeit provisionally) whilst there is excitement about.

I genuinely wanted people's opinions on names, not for people to tell me I shouldn't be having kids at my age with this man.

Mrs Soup loads of my cousins are called Shazia and I love that name

lulu_92

OH is not being unpleasant and none of this is affecting us that bad, which is why I didn't mention it in my OP. Our eventual offspring will have names we both agree on whether they reflect our heritages or not.

For the record, I chose Niamh and that was a choice of mine for years.

purpleshoes_2

lulu_92 wrote: »

OH is not being unpleasant and none of this is affecting us that bad, which is why I didn't mention it in my OP. Our eventual offspring will have names we both agree on whether they reflect our heritages or not.

For the record, I chose Niamh and that was a choice of mine for years.

You are defending someone who sounds like a total prat of the highest order.

If you think everything in the garden is rosy, fair enough, but Im not surprised people are concerned.

notanewuser

lulu_92 wrote: »

OH is not being unpleasant and none of this is affecting us that bad, which is why I didn't mention it in my OP. Our eventual offspring will have names we both agree on whether they reflect our heritages or not.

For the record, I chose Niamh and that was a choice of mine for years.

I find that a bit odd. I needed to see DD before naming her (hence the list of possibles).

Niamh is a pretty name, but what if you'd gotten together with a Mr Greeve? :rotfl: