Paying Board.

lostinrates

19lottie82 wrote: »

The bearing is, if you don't have to make a financial contribution to the household, why should your kids feel they have to? But if there is a explanation as to why you don't, fair enough.



That's fraud? What did you do about it?

As I suggested in my previous post, you don't need to get the lines cut off, just call and get a temporary bar placed on the lines, if they don't pay you on time, until they cough up. All providers should do this.

The op I'd imagine is putting more unpaid hours in to the household management. For what ever reason her partner and her have come to this decision if its right for them her adult children can accept it or make alternative life decisions! Fraud or trying to rule the roost do not seem to me to be acceptable approaches.

babyemily

So many replies, I didn't expect that. I disagree with those who say that as I dont contribute financially they dont see why they should either. My mum was at home when I was growing up and I never thought that way. I do work hard, my home is spotless, all washing & ironing done, always a freshly prepared dinner everyday, I make all their lunches etc... I also do volunteer work and I do all this on app 2 hours sleep a night. By my looking after the youngest, they all get sleep to go to work & college.

But it does mean I am so tired I dont follow things up, I forget easily and they do take advantage of that.

I do see why you say my children have a sense of entitlement, I think that is true but they also have a good work ethic, they are polite, well mannered & well spoken - Most of the time.

I will TELL my oldest tonight that he has to pay a certain amount of board. I will not take board from the second child as she is in College but I do think she should pay her bus pass. £130 is a lot of money to have a week to play with and she is by far the most selfish child. My youngest thinks £10 is loads of money and £1000 is enough to buy a house - Thats fine...She will always have me to look after her

You are all correct about the phone but I will not be reporting her as she actually has a really bright future ahead of her and I will not jeprodise that. However I feel she should pay every penny back as I am not the one who wanted an all singing, all dancing smart phone

Indie_Kid

19lottie82 wrote: »

I think that's not a wild amount IF they pay for all of their clothes, toiletries, entertainment, food / drinks at college, and study supplies. I think the OP also mentioned driving lessons.

I lived on that whilst studying at uni. I managed perfectly fine. £80 is plenty.

Homeownertobe

Indie_Kid wrote: »

That's still £80 a week left over though.

So? It's worth pointing out that the OP could have that, if she worked.

It'd be interesting to know what her OH thinks. I suspect he feels quite differently to his wife.

19lottie82

Homeownertobe wrote: »

£15k a year is not a lot of money, by any stretch of the imagination.

Heck, it is if you're only paying £100 a month digs and having all your food toiletries and clothes paid for!

Homeownertobe wrote: »

So the idea that your eldest has a grand a month to spend on what he likes seems strange. I've yet to meet someone who has no work expenses.

What, a bus pass? And the odd shirt / pair of work shoes? A drop in the ocean from £1K a month.

Homeownertobe wrote: »

Also, it's a fallacy that charging board will magically turn a young adult in a budget-savvy.

Of course it won't "magically" make them responsible with cash, but it definitely help, and not charging board most definitely won't!

19lottie82

Indie_Kid wrote: »

I lived on that whilst studying at uni. I managed perfectly fine. £80 is plenty.

I'm not disagreeing with that. What I was pointing out that it's not a wild amount of money for a student to live on if they have to pay for everything apart from board, travel and basic food.

And as others have pointed out, the OP will still be getting child benefit for the teen in FT education.

Homeownertobe

19lottie82 wrote: »

Heck, it is if you're only paying £100 a month digs and having all your food toiletries and clothes paid for!



What, a bus pass? And the odd shirt / pair of work shoes? A drop in the ocean from £1K a month.



Of course it won't "magically" make them responsible with cash, but it definitely help, and not charging board most definitely won't!

Please share the research you've done to support that claim.:)

19lottie82

Homeownertobe wrote: »

Please share the research you've done to support that claim.:)

Common sense, and life experience.

onlyroz

Round our way I could let out a single room for £400 a month and a double room for £500. Perhaps you should find out the equivalents for your area (check spareroom, gumtree etc) and enlighten your precious children about the realities of life.

I think that the one working full-time should certainly be paying their own bills and transport costs, and be contributing a reasonable amount to the household - perhaps not the "market rate" but certainly more than £100 a month.

I personally wouldn't take "keep" money off the student but if they were earning some money then I would expect them to pay for their own transport, phone, toiletries, clothes etc.

You really need to toughen up. Cancel the phone contracts, hide away your own toiletries and explain to these leeches that they have to pay their way.

babyemily

Homeownertobe wrote: »

What does your OH think? He's the one earning after all.

Considering you still get child benefit for your middle child, I think it's outrageous you expect her to pay board when she's already paying money to travel to college/sixth form. I'm firmly of the belief that parents should financially support their children through education.

£15k a year is not a lot of money, by any stretch of the imagination. So the idea that your eldest has a grand a month to spend on what he likes seems strange. I've yet to meet someone who has no work expenses.

£300 a month seems an awful lot of money to live in the family home, especially if they're trying to save for a house. I'm all for charging board but not for making a profit. Also, it's a fallacy that charging board will magically turn a young adult in a budget-savvy - you only have to look on here to disprove that.

I have supported them through everything. I gave up everything to move to the middle of nowhere to get them into a good school. I fought so hard to get my eldest help in school and I pay for everything for them for College. Eldest left this year. All stationary, trips, media extras etc... I provide them with everything from underwear to coats and I would do anything for them but theres a big part of me thinking I am being taken for a ride and I dont want them like that. I do feel there needs to be a balance.

My husband gets very cross about it so leaves it to me to deal with as I said I dislike confrontation intensely.

The bus fare to work is £24 a week, that is the only outlay.

The driving lessons are £18 a week. There is no saving for a house at all. The eldest wants to party constantly. The middle one spends it all on her boyfriend.

I am a good mum, but I am not so good at this. I grew up with nothing we were very poor. I overcompensate with my own I think because of this but I do want them to do well and become someone they are proud to be