Paying Board.

AnnieO1234

Just my two cents, I lived at home for an extended period thanks to the local housing market and property boom. I didn't work at all till i had finished my A-levels but from 16 maybe a little younger iirc other than using light, heat and laundry facilities (I would buy my own detergent) I paid for everything myself including food.

I too had two bus journeys to school (sixth form) and my parents gave me an allowance each month until I finished. After that once employed I paid for my expenses but not board.

It's just another way of doing things you may not have considered.

X

Spendless

Eldest should pay for all their outgoings including mobile bill and an amount towards their 'keep/board' as they are working f-time.

Middle one shouldn't be paying board as they are still in education, but should be paying for all their 'wants'. You should meet their 'needs' so pay the bus passes, provide lunch, a basic wardrobe and so on. Socialising comes out of their own part-time wage. You come into 'grey areas' doing this, such as the toiletries you've mentioned. What some households do is say they will buy the basic brands along with the grocery shopping, so they can use the household shaving gel/deodorant etc but anything they fancy over and above that eg lynx shower gel is up to them to fund.

Youngest depends on disability, but assuming they are able to have pocket money and learn to budget, you go along the same lines as middle one.

Georgiegirl256

babyemily wrote: »

I know I sound like a soft touch which I am not

Sorry to be blunt here, but yes you are. At least that's how it's coming across.

As others have said, I don't believe the one at College should be contributing as they are still in full time education. Good for them for actually getting themselves a p/t job.

But as soon as they are earning full time as the older one is, then yes, they should contribute to the running of the household.

I'm not one of these people who think the reason why kids must contribute to the household is to learn the value of money. You can totally understand the value of money, the value of saving etc without having to be "taught a lesson", but in your case, it sounds like your kids do need to be taught the value of money as they seem to have no clue whatsoever on what things cost and that you are struggling to pay bills at times.

People asked why you weren't working, and of course your reasons why are totally personal. But as someone mentioned, the sticking point might be that they don't see you contributing, so in their minds, why should they contribute?

The first thing you should have done when your daughter phoned up the phone company pretending to be you was to phone right back up again and change it back....either that or cancel it. They need to learn that you are not a bottomless pit when it comes to money, and IMO, you should start by having them pay (well the one in f/t work anyhow) for their mobile phone contracts, it might teach them to use them more wisely. You say they are meant to pay you back....so make them!

Also, what are you still doing buying their toiletries etc? At that age, they should be buying their own.

19lottie82

I agree, As they are studying, I wouldn't charge the middle teen board, but would make them buy their own toiletries, clothes and bus pass.

Caroline_a

I too am horrified at your daughter - what she has done in effect is theft. I would have taken the phone from her, bought a cheap PAYG for her to use, and made her top it up herself, as well as contacting the phone company as previously indicated by others.

The reason I asked why you weren't working was that you mentioned that you had to borrow to pay one of the phone bills. That should never be happening!

My girls all paid board once they were working fulltime. They also paid all their own toiletries - if they ran out they would ask if they could use mine, but never assumed I would say yes! (I always did)

You are being walked all over - do you do all their washing, cleaning, cooking too? Time for them to do a bit of growing up, maybe?

pollypenny

Wow! You are being taken for a ride!

Normally, I would agree that someone in F-/T education shouldn't pay, but £130 a week pocket money! She's unlikely to ever have that again!

Even if you save something for their future, on the quiet, they should contribute a fair amount.

19lottie82

pollypenny wrote: »

Normally, I would agree that someone in F-/T education shouldn't pay, but £130 a week pocket money! She's unlikely to ever have that again!.

Remember they have to pay £50 travel expenses out of this though.

I wouldn't charge the child in education board, but would make them pay for their own toiletries and clothes.

Indie_Kid

19lottie82 wrote: »

Remember they have to pay £50 travel expenses out of this though.

I wouldn't charge the child in education board, but would make them pay for their own toiletries and clothes.

That's still £80 a week left over though.

19lottie82

Indie_Kid wrote: »

That's still £80 a week left over though.

I think that's not a wild amount IF they pay for all of their clothes, toiletries, entertainment, food / drinks at college, and study supplies. I think the OP also mentioned driving lessons.

Homeownertobe

What does your OH think? He's the one earning after all.

Considering you still get child benefit for your middle child, I think it's outrageous you expect her to pay board when she's already paying money to travel to college/sixth form. I'm firmly of the belief that parents should financially support their children through education.

£15k a year is not a lot of money, by any stretch of the imagination. So the idea that your eldest has a grand a month to spend on what he likes seems strange. I've yet to meet someone who has no work expenses.

£300 a month seems an awful lot of money to live in the family home, especially if they're trying to save for a house. I'm all for charging board but not for making a profit. Also, it's a fallacy that charging board will magically turn a young adult in a budget-savvy - you only have to look on here to disprove that.