Newbie to online dating - how do you get matched correctly?

StuC75

Met my girlfriend through eharmony (met 6 months ago, now been living together a month) and all is perfect.

Matches are based on what you put in, so to be fair these matches may really be a reflection of what you are in fact projecting in terms of your personality and what you are looking for in a partner..

some people prefer the lighter conversation, its an easier form of small talk. Some of these people may live on there own, and so online conversations are a large part of there social interactions. Find those common interests and what you can gel over..

Alternatively ask leading questions to push the conversation onwards - women get loads of messages and so look for someone to stand out from the crowd.

Since you have only been on 4 days, I assume you haven't got anywhere near arranging an actual date? that's that stage where you get a better idea of people..

The website wont do all the work for you, its there to provide the 'introduction', after that its down to you to shine..

Chatalouge wrote: »

I'm on the subscription version of eharmony and it has a visitors tab. I had it set as friendship and relationship, which is probably why it matched my interests with the gay guy, or eharmony thought i would like to try something new :rotfl:

Its not the site for me, none of my matches suit me and i dont like it. I'm going to give a free site a try and hope that is better.

StuC75

On places like pof, I don't think anyone ever takes that much notice of the bio's. So many seem to follow that same approach and it really stands out, its good to keep to what your interests are, what you like to do.. what you think would make a good date, think of where you want to be - not dwell on what has brought you to be on a dating site..

SailorSam wrote: »

When you're writing about yourself what you need to do is read what other other have put to describe themselves then pick the best ones and adjust it to suit yourself.
Don't copy & paste, that will come across as false, but just get a feel of something that has had time and thought put into it.

Retroguyuk

I've never tried eharmony, but I've used Match, POF and OKCupid quite a lot over a good few years now.

I wouldn't exactly advise against looking at other profiles for what to write, but I don't think it's all that productive beyond a certain point. You need to not only write about yourself, but as much as you can in a style that's unique to you. And even then, you might well be looking for different things than other people, and how you write your profile can effect what type of replies you get, and from whom.

I've been writing a blog on online dating tips over the last few weeks- you might not find it useful, but I'd be happy to PM you the link. I've put quite a few tips on there for people new to the whole thing, but obviously it's only based off my own experience.

SailorSam

Retroguyuk wrote: »

I've never tried eharmony, but I've used Match, POF and OKCupid quite a lot over a good few years now.

I wouldn't exactly advise against looking at other profiles for what to write, but I don't think it's all that productive beyond a certain point. You need to not only write about yourself, but as much as you can in a style that's unique to you. And even then, you might well be looking for different things than other people, and how you write your profile can effect what type of replies you get, and from whom.

I've been writing a blog on online dating tips over the last few weeks- you might not find it useful, but I'd be happy to PM you the link. I've put quite a few tips on there for people new to the whole thing, but obviously it's only based off my own experience.

Maybe if you've tried various sites without luck, any tips that you have to offer might not be that useful.

Retroguyuk

SailorSam wrote: »

Maybe if you've tried various sites without luck, any tips that you have to offer might not be that useful.

I'd say I've had more than a great deal of success, considering I'm not built like a greek god (lots of dates, and a fair few long term relationships), but thanks for that useful reply lol

The reason for the blog is that I get a lot of people asking me stuff about online dating, and if I can do it, anyone can. It's just to get past the misconception some people have that it's difficult.

SailorSam

It was meant to a be tongue-in-cheek comment.

Retroguyuk

SailorSam wrote: »

It was meant to a be tongue-in-cheek comment.

I wasn't hugely bothered either way, but without any kind of indication like a smiley after it, it doesn't really read that way

Chatalouge

POF has worked a treat with me last night i was talking with a girl the same age as me, a bit far away but we clicked right away. We talked online first, then she made excuses about being uncomfortable sat up in front of the computer and asked for my number so she could lie down and have a conversation over the phone with me :eek: i was so nervous about calling her as she is the only person over the net i've gave my details to. We talked until 03.20am this morning, so far so good. I like her already

StuC75

Hope it wasn't a premium rate number 'masquerading' as a mobile phone number. in which case you've just been ripped off..

Chatalouge wrote: »

POF has worked a treat with me last night i was talking with a girl the same age as me, a bit far away but we clicked right away. We talked online first, then she made excuses about being uncomfortable sat up in front of the computer and asked for my number so she could lie down and have a conversation over the phone with me :eek: i was so nervous about calling her as she is the only person over the net i've gave my details to. We talked until 03.20am this morning, so far so good. I like her already

Chatalouge

StuC75 wrote: »

Hope it wasn't a premium rate number 'masquerading' as a mobile phone number. in which case you've just been ripped off..

Na she's safe, she was texting this morning off of the same number. She is going to call me tonight, as she was going to last night but me being the gent i am made the first call