Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK

chevalier

SorryvNOA I couldn't remember where you were at. is there someone male you can get to talk to him man to man? about getting help. You may have to work out whether living with someone so negative, even if he works hard, is good enough for the rest of your life.....

re my issue yes all told thanks
chev

NoOneAround

Hi Chev,
He doesn't see his family at all (all went their separate ways when their parents passed away) and he doesn't make/have close heart-to heart friends- so he has lots of colleagues and casual friends , good for a laugh and nonsensical banter, all very jolly in others' company, when there's an audience, and it annoys me big time (after many years of going along with it) when he treats me the same, especially when you ask a simple question that needs a yes/no answer, or a serious decision made, but it takes 20 attempts to get there. Have tried to explain there are times we just need a straight forward grown up talk, but that always leads to the replaying the tape.

You are right of course. It's not good enough for the rest of life. Sometimes in recent years, I have felt like a single parent. He feels undervalued but won't accept his behaviour and reactions to situations don't help much with that. I have even said to him that there won't be anything left after DD/DS leave home if we don't pull it together. The way it's going, chances are we might just live at opposite ends of the house. Of course, In RL, same as with the debt, not a lot of people know that, We're still pretending about both.

ANother long and tedious outburst on my part. Sorry:o
Just going to exchange some T3sco clbcard vouchers for a meal out tonight to celebrate DD's dispensing of L plates. Food always keeps everyone happy.

NOA
x

NoOneAround

Good Morning
Another bright day here but lots of admin to catch up on as haven't done any for 3 days. A nice meal out on Friday night, short and sweet, but not on vouchers as DD and DDS wanted to go to N4ndos and it was only £35 for the four of us -as we had no puddings and it was alcohol free:).
Saturday : went to see my sibling for the day - very pleasant as it was a beautiful day and we sat in the garden all afternoon/evening, she moved a just before Christmas and it's the first time we have visited - they have been busy decorating.
Sunday: pottering at home, DS helping me in garden at intervals. He has been a star and has kept on top of the lawn (sometimes a bit grumbly, but still does it and I'm very grateful for it, though sometimes I forget to be and have to remind myself. He doesn't like to do mammoth sessions of it, but we seem to have come to a happy medium where he will do half an hour stints at intervals, because after all gardening isn't a teenage boys dream hobby, is it:rotfl:
Going to see parents for a couple of days now, to help them with all the normal stuff, plus mum has a medical apt she wants me to go to with her, so it's worked out better not going at the weekend.

Eventually sorted out insurance for DD last week - £850 which is more than the car is worth:eek: - Just really frustrating when the searches come back with quotes of 520 but when you actually go in to buy, and answer the same questions again - it went up every time:eek: and the original quotes did not say FROM £520. It seems that when you fill in "how long have you held your licence" ( answer option - less than 1 year) it puts it in as "1 year" to get the quotes - despite having an option for "less than 1 year". Spent best part of 2 days on it :eek: but better than the 2K plus it could have been.

Have a lovely day everyone
NOA
xx

brizzledfw

Oh NOA..sounds grim. But v v glad you're keeping upbeat and rebooting when you can. Complain away. I know how it feels. My OH is anxious and worried at the moment and it just infects everything

That car insurance for DD is HORRENDOUS...I hope she is suitably grateful and is going to pay her share!!

And well done on the garden..I know it gets you down when its overwhelming so well done to DS for getting on with it

Love and hugs and enjoy the West Country

NoOneAround

What's this wet stuff falling from the sky?:rotfl:

Thanks Brizzle Hope your Dh's anxiety blows over soon, you are normally so upbeat

Just got back from visiting parents v late last night. Usual admin and chores done for them, and went with mum to her drs appt. It just reinforced my opinion of what a horrible surgery it is. Unassertive old people don't stand a chance, and are flicked away like pesky mosquitos with more than a hint or derision. I picked up a complaint form.

All ticking along down there, and there might be a bit of light at the end of the tunnel with respect to having some home help for them, better not say to much in case I raise my expectations too much;) and jinx it - no I'm not superstitious me:D

Utter frustration again, they have been ripped off again, by cold callers at the door, for a leaking roof repair for the second time. Trouble is they don't seem to learn their lesson despite the number of times I have said to them. they trust every body and paid out 800 in cash to someone who is supposed to have repaired the roof, said they would give a 10 year guarantee, took the money and didn't come back with the paperwork. Had already given someone else £200 a few weeks ago. This time the builders said there was other work needed doing up there and quoted £3k, Fortunately they just said they didn't have the money. I have told them time and time again, especially Dad if he is alone at home, not to open the door. Really sad that there are people out there who deliberately target the old and vulnerable for an easy buck.
2 days away and its catch up time again at home, also have a whole load of forms to fill in for parents.
SE - work - now projects are mostly in their second half so all have been invoiced, and there haven't been any new queries, so anxiety beginning mount on that front:(
I do have a weeks work in August, so trying to sort of something for DS for that week, hopefully a week of work experience to add some value - I never got anywhere with the volunteering. Everything will be so much easier next academic year as he will be sixteen.

Another chase up to do - DS had a pay monthly £8 contract - I checked the first bill and £8 was charged as expected, didn't look at last months bill when it came on line, just had this months and the last 2 have been billed as £20?:eek: Can't get on line to see why, and it won't allow me to reset my password. Temper and irritation levels already high and it's not even 11 am!
:mad:

Off to do some work.
Have a good day everyone
NOA
x

brizzledfw

So sorry re your parents..so hard. You can't be there all the time, but am sure you wish you could be when someone is fleecing them like that. No paperwork to be able to complain to police/council? It's theft and fraud really.

Glad you're getting work...onwards and upwards

NoOneAround

No Brizzle, nothing at all, just got in their van and drove off having said they'd just pop out and get the paperwork. Of course the mobile phone number doesn't connect. I only found out while I was down there, they hadn't mentioned it and I call every day. Too frightened no doubt that I would tell them off again.:mad:

I think they are trying to be independent and cope by themselves, but it isn't working. There's me trying to keep on top of their insurance and utilities etc to save them whatever money I can, but they are giving it away to scammers by the hundreds.
A close friend's elderly mother also had a similar thing happen, up north a few weeks back.

Feeling virtuous as managed to declutter another carrier bag full of paper from office. :T
NOA
xx

NoOneAround

Morning:)
Think I overdid it a bit yesterday, pacing myself doesn't come easily.
Got up at 6am as DD is helping her uni with some promotional material, she wanted advice on what to wear:rotfl: yes that's right, DD asking me:rotfl: Had breakfast with her then went back to bed and have only just surfaced:( so today's ambitious plans for the morning will have to be postponed, list or no list. Have another OT appt this pm so that wipes out the afternoon.
A couple of appts to change due to holiday- have tried calling about a dozen times but can't get through or get through and get passed from one dept to another:mad:

Rambling a bit and typing very ineffectively/feeling clumsy today so will bow out before I type a load of gibberish and press send without looking - as oft happens with txts:rotfl:
Have a lovely day

NOA
x

Bobarella

NOA - so sorry about those low lifes scamming your poor parents. They should be thrown in jail!

*Robin*

Hello NOA, :hello:

Just popping in (and signed up to follow ).

So sorry to hear about the hassles your parents have had with rogue workmen.
My Dad had a few try it on in his latter years; he knew he was vulnerable but worked out a little trick which might assist your folks..
When faced with an over-pushy bloke pressing him to sign up for repairs he wasn't sure were necessary, he'd lock the door firmly behind him and say:
"I'm sorry for not being able to make a decision, but I think we need to speak to my neighbour about this. He's the retired Chief Constable and is so kind, always gives good advice to an old fart like me! Come along, it's only next door, we'll go and have a chat with him now."
..That sorted out scammers from genuine tradesman in the time it took the former to leap in their vans and drive away! :rotfl:

On another tack, the insurance quote you got for your DD sounds great - which company is it with, please (the best my DS found after passing his test was £1800 - for a car which the ex-owner gave to him as she thought it wasn't worth selling!)?

ETA: Belated Happy Anniversary - hope you had a special day!