Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK

NoOneAround

Squiggly_Diddly wrote: »

Hello NOA (hope you don't mind me calling you that when I don't know you!). Just wanted to say that I've been working my way through your thread (yes, most of it...!) over the last few days & wow, you have come such a long way and often with little support. It's so hard facing up to it at the start but you sound like a huge weight has lifted, which at least gives you a bit more headspace to think about how best to support your parents. I only have my mum who lives 5 minutes away, luckily even though she was 70 in June, she's generally fit & well and active, although quite 'needy' of wanting to know what we're all doing (& internet stalking us all!!) but I know what you mean about feeling torn between the needs of parents & children, let alone any space for 'you'.
Anyhow, I'm rambling but just wanted to say thank you for the inspiration and I'll keep reading if that's ok with you ��

Welcome, Squiggly Diddly and thank you for your kind words I'd would be honoured to have you join in - mostly just my unedited unsorted thoughts pouring out but it really helps to get it off your chest:)
Re: Parents getting older and needier- I always try and remember what they have done for me throughout, and I try not to lose patience! Am a firm believer in the phrase " you reap what you have sown"
I will look up your thread too:)

NOA
xx

NoOneAround

Bobarella wrote: »

Oh blimey that muat be a tricky one. What do his peers parents allow?
I worked out the cost of frozen raspberries 5 days a week to be £50 a month:eek: but also good for his 5 a day??

£50 :eek::rotfl: should be available on the NHS to promote healthy living:)

xx
NOA

Bobarella

Next week will come round soon Im sure!

And we crossed on the raspberries. Normally I would put my foot down but as we are not having a holiday I feel a few treats are allowed.

NoOneAround

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

Hi Noa,


Hope you don't mind me sticking my oar in......


I have a son of 19 and we have veered the course of alcohol a few years ago.


Personally for me I think denying teenagers alcohol leads to it being a secretive thing -

I decided to follow the same thing with my DS and fingers crossed it has worked, he does moan that at parties when everyone is drunk he is still sober even though he has drunk loads but I guess his body can tolerate it.


As for DD, 13, she does not like drunk people or people being sick (none of which DH or me have been in front of her) ..

Hi Eager
Of course I don't, and thank you for posting your experience - I totally agree, introducing alcohol at home is the best way. My dd is the same (now 20) and has negotiated her way through the party dilemma's pretty well - the very first party she went to her friends went wild and she had to look after one of them all evening being sick in the bathroom - enough to put her off for life :rotfl: Am hoping DS will be the same - have fun without being stupid.

DS is fifteen, luckily he is not in the "party" crowd who have been going to parties and drinking without adult supervision for a couple of years now. He has a really nice group of friends. He has an occasional small drink - cider or an alcopop at home at celebrations but I don't offer it routinely when his friends come round yet. I do worry though as he looks waaaaaayyyyy toooooo comfortable with a pint in his hand:rotfl: He will be sixteen in October. I think I'll do what you suggest and just talk to his friends' parents and agree on what is acceptable from each point of view.

I love that your sons friends got up and cleaned up :rotfl: amazing! a sign of well brought up kids I say.

NOA
xx

NoOneAround

The last 10 days have flown by and haven't really had time to gather my thoughts - just been treading water and keeping afloat mainly:o

Full week at part time job last week, finished on Monday. Usually really enjoy it but this time there was one member of the team that really got on my nerves, usually am very tolerant but she managed to get my back up big time. Really petty stuff, but draining because it's yet another thing that takes up space in your head:( Kept telling myself that I'm just there for the money and am not paid enough to take stress home! There will a few days work in September then not much more until October.

SE work trickling along, most projects in their later stages now and only one invoice to come in now, so having had a comfortable 6 months where I didn't have to check banks accounts on a weekly basis, work is looking a bit thin on the ground. A couple of new enquiries but if they come off that's still 2 months away in terms of money coming in. Getting a bit nervous again - Oh the joys of self employment. Need to get my spreadsheet up to date again, to ensure no unnecessary mistakes. Also beginning of term brings countless demands for payment for school related things. October/November/December are our birthday laden months and Christmas.

I need to make sure tax return for DH is done before end of year, as he will have extra tax burden next year, If I leave his return until Jan as usual he won't be able to pay back through his tax code (CB needs to be paid back).

All the creditors now need another update, so I have to try and write back before going on holiday ( empty brain of as much excess baggage as possible before our week away!)

Caught up with a friend yesterday - haven't seen her for 2 years, and thanks to her persistence she called out of the blue yesterday morning and we had a lovely afternoon, while her 3 year old played and entertained us - DD is smitten:rotfl: Didn't get much work done, just had lots of tea and biscuits.

Arranged to have lunch with another friend tomorrow - at garden centre so very casual, and am going to pop down to see my parents Thursday pm /Friday, pack Friday night when I get back , hopefully leave Saturday mid- morning. Have told everyone I am only packing for me, and we'll do a grocery shop for easy food for breakfast and picnics on the way.

Have some voluntary work admin to catch up on today. Garden needs lots of attention, but I know I will never be on top of that:(

Some minor battles with DS and DD over usual things, was very sad at the weekend but have managed to talk it over with them, Last couple of days have been much better. Other news is that we have arranged for someone to come in and help dad in shower and dress in the mornings - it means he has to get up - a huge step forwards:T

This has turned out to be a really long post - sorry
Will wind up now. Isn't it funny how these diaries become the friends you turn to more often than the RL ones (in RL the pretenses still go on)?
Hope that everyone has a lovely day:A:)
NOA
xx

Bobarella

NOA - so glad to hear this about your Dads carer. One less thing for your mind to worry about.

brizzledfw

^^^what Bob said. That IS great news. Fabulous.

Am sure SE work will start coming through, we all have our wobbles hey? Nature of the beast. And teenagers...mine were pretty unhelpful before we went away and I just had to make it v clear how disappointed I was. Eventually did the trick. But will not have the nice things in life taken for granted!! They are earnt by their dad and I and so I expect suitable gratefulness!!

NoOneAround

Thanks Bob and Brizzle, as I said it makes him get up in the mornings at least, not a huge help to mum as its only for 30 mins but still treading softly softly, baby step at a time.

Voluntary admin all done, and have even stayed up and finished SE correspondence that needs to go out tomorrow, just to get a head start.
Unexpected chore for tomorrow am as there is a screw stuck in my tyre - have only recently had them replaced will have to go to garage in morning to see if they can fix the tyre, daren't take it on motorway tomorrow or visit parents as deflates slowly:(

ALso just remembered I no longer have a swimming costume, not sure when I'll be able to get one before saturday:eek:

Off to bed now, hoping to sleep better tonight.
Sweet dreams:)
NOA
x

jvr

Hi NOA


I have been reading your whole diary over the last few weeks and it is amazing how far you have come considering everything that has been thrown at you, you should look back to the beginning and see how far you have come in attitude and financially. Really glad to hear your dad has agreed to at least a little help.


x

NoOneAround

Hello jvr, Thank you for your kind comments, and I am always rendered speechless when someone says they have read the whole way through the diary :eek: Thank you for ploughing through the pages of a life really quite ordinary

I sometimes think of reading back through but then shy away when I see how many pages there are, I also dread the thought of "hearing" my own whinging:D

It would be really great if there was a way of downloading all of the thread/related posts into a word doc, would make it much easier to read over........

NOA
xx