Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK

Bobarella

Sounds a bit of a bitsa day NOA. I so know what you mean about being too tired to avoid bamboozling by children. I swear my son would live on pizza, those deep pan pepperoni Chicargo town ones. And at the moment we must have frozen raspberries in at all times. And he'd love it if I also let him have OJ constantly too. I try to shop alone!

Igamogam

Plant nursery - very therapeutic
Child nursery - not very therapeutic :eek:

The word for children in Welsh is .......plant:rotfl:

NoOneAround

Bobarella wrote: »

Sounds a bit of a bitsa day NOA. I so know what you mean about being too tired to avoid bamboozling by children. I swear my son would live on pizza, those deep pan pepperoni Chicargo town ones. And at the moment we must have frozen raspberries in at all times. And he'd love it if I also let him have OJ constantly too. I try to shop alone!

I would too Bob, but I now usually take DS or DD with me to help with heavy stuff and lifting bags into car We have an agreement that he can have these things when he has friends around, so it is a sort of treat really (oops I know one is not meant to do that;)). Gets harder as they get older - on the verge of the alcohol discussions at the moment!

NOA
x

NoOneAround

Igamogam wrote: »

Plant nursery - very therapeutic
Child nursery - not very therapeutic :eek:

The word for children in Welsh is .......plant:rotfl:

:rotfl: "Welsh Guide to Looking after your Plants" ...... Feed and water regularly, prune top growth as necessary and give a good soaking now and again. Treat with extra care during dormancy (usually between 13-19 years), Patience is a virtue and will pay dividends in the long term.:rotfl:


NOA
x

Bobarella

NoOneAround wrote: »

I would too Bob, but I now usually take DS or DD with me to help with heavy stuff and lifting bags into car We have an agreement that he can have these things when he has friends around, so it is a sort of treat really (oops I know one is not meant to do that;)). Gets harder as they get older - on the verge of the alcohol discussions at the moment!

NOA
x

Oh blimey that muat be a tricky one. What do his peers parents allow?
I worked out the cost of frozen raspberries 5 days a week to be £50 a month:eek: but also good for his 5 a day??

Eager_Elephant

Hi Noa,


Hope you don't mind me sticking my oar in......


I have a son of 19 and we have veered the course of alcohol a few years ago.


When DS was 15 he had a sleep over for his birthday and we decided to allow alcohol with parents permission. DS has been allowed to drink at Xmas and BBQ's etc for a few years (not talking loads but maybe 1 alcopop at a BBQ and a glass of wine (mixed with lemonade) with Xmas lunch. He has also been to parties where alcohol was drunk with no parental control) so it wasn't anything new.


What we did is send out invites and asked parents to contact us direct to confirm attendance and when they called we discussed the alcohol and we also how much they were allowed to drink. Only one boy was not allowed to come once alcohol had been brought into the equation - he came from a religious family and I understood (although he could have come and not drunk alcohol, my son and his friends are a bit geeky etc and don't do peer pressure).


I then brought alcopops taking into account how many each person was allowed and then throughout the night they only drunk what their parents had said they could and it was a most enjoyable evening!! I think the majority were allowed 4 bottles.


None of them snuck alcohol in (I was surprised, in my youth I would have done!!) and no one got drunk.


In the morning when I got up his friends were cleaning the kitchen and sweeping the lounge - they hadn't even made a mess really, just leftover food and bottle tops - I told them they can come back at any time!!


Personally for me I think denying teenagers alcohol leads to it being a secretive thing - my parents allowed me to drink from the age of 12 (Xmas - just one glass of Pink Lady (where has that gone?) and then at 14 I was allowed a bit more alcohol (my DB was 16 and it was his party)) and I have never felt the need to get absolutely wasted - I have always been able to stop drinking once I get to a certain point.
I decided to follow the same thing with my DS and fingers crossed it has worked, he does moan that at parties when everyone is drunk he is still sober even though he has drunk loads but I guess his body can tolerate it.


As for DD, 13, she does not like drunk people or people being sick (none of which DH or me have been in front of her) . At Xmas she will have a glass of Lambrini mixed with lemonade and has done since she was about 10 (obviously more lemonade than alcohol). I am not sure that she will ever want to drink much alcohol due to her fear but we will ride that road when we get to it.

Squiggly_Diddly

Hello NOA (hope you don't mind me calling you that when I don't know you!). Just wanted to say that I've been working my way through your thread (yes, most of it...!) over the last few days & wow, you have come such a long way and often with little support. It's so hard facing up to it at the start but you sound like a huge weight has lifted, which at least gives you a bit more headspace to think about how best to support your parents. I only have my mum who lives 5 minutes away, luckily even though she was 70 in June, she's generally fit & well and active, although quite 'needy' of wanting to know what we're all doing (& internet stalking us all!!) but I know what you mean about feeling torn between the needs of parents & children, let alone any space for 'you'.
Anyhow, I'm rambling but just wanted to say thank you for the inspiration and I'll keep reading if that's ok with you ��

NoOneAround

Hello Bob, Eager Elephant and Squiggly Diddly
Thanks for popping in - Am not ignoring you honest
Pretty exhausted this week and am working full time this week and into next at part time job with SE work in the evenings so will reply properly in next few days when I surface for air:eek:

Friday - at work and finished VAT returns:j
Saturday - thought about going to see parents but wore myself out doing long overdue chores, too tired to drive
Sunday went to see parents - turned up unannounced - they were over the moon:) did usual shopping/paperwork/hoover etc and came back late.

Have a lovely week everyone
NOA
xx

Puzzcat

Hi Noah,

Think you may be on your holiday? If you are hope your having a lovely relaxing break.

Love Puzz. x

NoOneAround

Puzzcat wrote: »

Hi Noah,

Think you may be on your holiday? If you are hope your having a lovely relaxing break.

Love Puzz. x

Hi Puzz,
Not on holiday yet just been drowning under work and family stuff) - but going next week:j Just hope that the summer weather decides to stay with us for a bit longer.....
Feels like there is a mountain to shift before we go though....
xx
NOAh