Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK

NoOneAround

Cherryfudge said:

Great that you get that as a 'freebie'! (Well okay, already paid, so thanks to your past self ).

I am in awe of three files gone. And lovely to find the post-it notes again. Have you thought of creating a folder somewhere of nice things like that, which you can look back to when you need affirmation? I have one in my emails: just nice things people have said which warm me from  the heart outwards.  

That's a lovely idea Cherry:)
Funny how I kept files of good stuff for both kids - never for me, other than educational certificates!

Quick update on randome bits...

1. I'm treating myself to a hair cut today as have a wedding this coming weekend, need to pick up some cards for birthdays as well as the wedding. 
2. My sales shopping was delivered and 3/5 items of the clothes fitted, the other two need returning. Also ordered some shoes in different sizes and styles from the F!tFl0p sale, again 3/5 fit which is good. The F!tFl0p footwear allows me to be on my feet all day at work, so I don't mind paying the extra, they also last years. 
3. I'll need to do about an hour's work today to deal with some emails that have come in, then tomorrow i will go in again for 2-3 hours. 
4. I've done 3 loads of washing today - all out drying
5. Sorted out this weeks mail - looked at everything and binned everything not needed instead of adding to my pile. 

So I feel I'm making a bit of progress, but still quite anxious/stressed, and I can't shake that off. 

NOA xx

Cherryfudge

Hair cut is always good for morale.

The anxiety and stress can be hard to track down and it could be a combination of things, but it could be simple once you've pinned it down. I found extra coffee gave me a feeling of doom after a couple of days - yet I used to be able to drink it late in the evening and felt okay. Equally, it could be things on your mind. Be gentle on yourself. x

NoOneAround

Thanks Cherry.

A quick update 
Hair cut was a boost - had lots of compliments at the wedding! It was lovely to see all family at a happy occasion. Another big birthday celebration coming up next weekend too so looking forward to seeing siblings again. then it will count down to going back to work. 

Two weeks have just flown by! I've done about 6 hours at work on 2 separate days, and continued with sorting my life out at home. One car boot load has gone to recycling/charity so trying to keep momentum up. Have started filling the boot again. I've left a box in there, so that every little bit that is sorted leaves the house. Little by little....
Lots of washing done making the most of the weather, and a little gardening, though its been too hot. 

Looking forward to seeing DD this weekend, I've missed her, she hasn't been home so much - with lots going on in her life at the moment. 

Actually too tired to think, so will say goodnight for now. 

NOA
x

weenancyinAmerica

NOA - hope you can start a file of "happy memories" for you. I have a small scrapbook and a smallish box of items, and it really does help me to go back through some of the letters I have have received in the past, especially when I think I haven't done anything worthwhile. 

NoOneAround

Thank you for taking the time to comment @weenancyinAmerica
I definitely will start one, it's such a lovely idea. For now I have been putting such items in one place as I come across them, while I'm sorting through all the "stuff"....

So......
I can't believe its already the last week of my summer break. I will have to go into work probably at least two half days this week to do general tidying as their has been building work in my space. so really I only have one day of holiday left. I've done about 3 hours at home today too. But I'm hoping it will all contribute to a smooth start in my new role.

Nice happenings:
1)  Spent a weekend with DD (involves internal flight), really nice, but she's been feeling low after she decided to end 2-year relationship with BF. However she's doing well and there were lots of little red flags over the last six months or so, and she has done the right thing.
2) Full Family get together with all siblings for niece/nephew's 18th birthday celebrations/exam results as they get ready to go to university (4 hours travelling)
3) Visited one sibling at her home just for the day (5 hours travelling) - exhausting but we are all trying to make sure we make time for each other again. 
4) Had coffee with friend from work. 
 scheme of things
5) I've also made some significant progress in decluttering (small in the grand scheme of things but big for me...)

• I cleared 3 more archive boxes of paperwork from self employment work - lots had sensitive information so I had a bonfire to burn it all along with some garden rubbish. Took a while - but its gone!!
• Went through and cleared 3 large boxes of paper stuff, pulling out a few sentimental bits, cards and photos etc, but filled 2 wheelie bins to the brim - the recycling was collected this morning so this too has all gone!!
• Recycled 2 black bin liners of plastic sheets (from new mattresses bought 4-5 years) ... saved for when we redecorated ...which we haven't got round to yet...please don't laugh!!!! Amazing how much room they took up!
• Pulled out some old toiletries that I haven't touched in several years - emptied and recycled.
• Sorted out medicines and carrier bag full of expired stuff ready to take to pharmacy - the bag is in the car so out of the house
• Started organising art and craft supplies into see through boxes, as I come across them. I want to create a space which is my creative space...in an ideal world where i can leave it out and just dip in and out as i want to.

I wanted to get more done, I have an ambitious goal to finish for the end of November for DD's big birthday, she's promised she'll come home for a few days. 

I was hoping to have done some creditor updates, but I don't think I'll manage to do that this week. 

Trying not to get anxious about start of work, the autumn term is always so busy, I hope chronic condition doesn't flair up too much - I've overdone things this week and am struggling with pain

Sorry it's a long boring post, finding that it helps me appreciate how much I have managed to do, even though it just feels like a drop in the ocean. 

Hope everyone is well. I'm trying not to give in to temptation to browse diaries yet, but will try and catch up with them when I feel more in control of my time and thoughts.

Love
NOA
xx

Cherryfudge

You've achieved a significant amount, both on clearing (which apparently makes future clearing easier, I wouldn't really know) and even more importantly, in looking after your relationships.