Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK

NoOneAround

brizzledfw wrote: »

Just popping by

Very pleased so many things going well for you

Thanks Brizzle:) I was dreading weekend, but it all turned out good in the end. We had a good old heart to heart, she's an old uni friend.
x

Bobarella wrote: »

How's your Dad now NOA?

chevalier wrote: »

Sorry to hear about your dad NOA. I think it was you that was looking to have them come stay with you? I don't want to bring you down, but I am wondering whether this would be the best for all of you, especially now your health is more frail than you thought it was. Would they consider moving into sheltered accommodation?
Sorry if I offend, but I thought it needed to be said.
chev

Hi Bob and Chev,
Thanks for asking - All very frustrating, you can't tell people what to do, at the moment dad totally unwilling to accept external help.
Mum a bit unwilling to move because she has a circle of friends where she volunteers - she would be very isolated where we are, though it would be better for dad as he would have more company. So what's best for one is not so good for the other. Plus getting hem to agree to any sort of change is like climbing Everest.

Exhausted as two very full on days at work. SE work slipping a bit again, will need to catch up at weekend....A couple more enquiries this week, haven't heard any more yet from the others.
Off to crash out, will catch up properly at weekend.
XX
NOA

Bobarella

I hear it a lot with older relative's being reluctant to move even when it would be best for them. I suppose I'd feel the same. It sounds like your Mum is still a lot more mobile.

brizzledfw

Hope everything OK NOA..and that you are finding the time to look after yourself and your health too. Appreciate its a busy time at work.

Xx

chevalier

Oh I understand that this would be a tough ask. But sadly you are going to have to be very tough on your dad, and explain that your mum can't make herself ill by looking after him. He will need to have some help, so they can stay where they are. I am sad for all of you, it must be such a worry, when parents get so frail.
One of the 'advantages' if you can call it that of being estranged from one of my parents was that when he became ill, it was never considered my 'problem' to deal with. I dread my mum getting frailer though, with her being on the other side of the world...
chev

NoOneAround

Bobarella wrote: »

I hear it a lot with older relative's being reluctant to move even when it would be best for them. I suppose I'd feel the same. It sounds like your Mum is still a lot more mobile.

Yes Bob, mum is the sort that never sits still - and has such will power, a strong woman who has overcome many adversities. Need to get myself together one of these days and put her in for "Mum of the Year"
Hope all well at your end
x

Bobarella

She sounds amazing. Hope you are ok. Last day before half term tommorow which is good.

Take care

Bob

NoOneAround

chevalier wrote: »

Oh I understand that this would be a tough ask. But sadly you are going to have to be very tough on your dad, and explain that your mum can't make herself ill by looking after him. He will need to have some help, so they can stay where they are. I am sad for all of you, it must be such a worry, when parents get so frail.
One of the 'advantages' if you can call it that of being estranged from one of my parents was that when he became ill, it was never considered my 'problem' to deal with. I dread my mum getting frailer though, with her being on the other side of the world...
chev

It's so hard to know what's best to do Chev. I get so frustrated. Lots of stuff simmering away, eventually things will boil over and then all will change. Just don't want to hurt any pride or steal any independence however fragile. Not sure I would like it if someone made me do something I didn't want. Will keep plugging away.
x

NoOneAround

brizzledfw wrote: »

Hope everything OK NOA..and that you are finding the time to look after yourself and your health too. Appreciate its a busy time at work.

Xx

Hi Brizzle, Just about surviving and keeping afloat, but utterly exhausted...so glad it is half term next week, we need to catch up again on SE work. DS will be home revising for internal exams straight after half term, plus another GCSE exam (2nd paper for one hes' doing a year early), so we don't have any big plans. Have been going to bed at 9.30 every night as we leave early (I have an 8am start), and we don't get home until 6.30pm.

Haven't had time to visit diaries, looking forwad to doing that next week, so I have offered to have my niece and nephew over for a few days to give my sister a break - is she takes me up on it.

Bye for now, another early start tomorrow.
xx
NOA

NoOneAround

Bobarella wrote: »

She sounds amazing. Hope you are ok. Last day before half term tommorow which is good.

Take care

Bob

Doing Ok ay thanks bob. Was a bit emotional this morning - Ds - my "baby" - took a GCSE paper today, Just seems like a moment ago he was a very cheeky toddler who once told me his volume control button didn't work when asked to be quiet. Hope your DD and DS are having lots of fun together
x

Bobarella

Oh that is such a gorgeous story. Bless him!