Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK

NoOneAround

TizerCat wrote: »

Hi NOA,

Glad you have got DD sorted for Uni and well done on getting the interest paid back on your OD.

Send me link to the thread if you decide to do one to find out how people paid their debts off, I'd be curious too!

Hopefully you will hear something on the job front soon

TC x

Hi TC


Have just started it!
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/66562596#Comment_66562596

xx

NoOneAround

brizzledfw wrote: »

You could always ask what people did? Ask via a new thread? I know it's self selecting..(but isn't everything?).. Mine was a hard slog to pay off every penny, but then we are fortunate to have a good joint income and OH was finally on board..(say no more I feel for you hon, he's being rude as well as feeling lost for sure)

We still have a whopping mortgage though..but on a low BoE tracker. Should be done in 7-8 years.

Thanks for the idea Brizzle
Have just started a new thread :T

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/66562596#Comment_66562596


xx

NoOneAround

Flugelhorn wrote: »

Hi - just been reading your diary, appreciate that the major problem is the school fees but TBH I think you have to stick with it now.
My 2 went to private primaries and it was planned that they would go to private senior too - then I did the sums. I earn quite a bit more than you but felt I could not risk being able to pay the fees for the next 10 years (as it was at that stage) so found v good state schools.
Because the kids only moved at 11 when all of their friends were going to different schools it wasn't like I was taking them away from a private school to a state school. It would have been incredibly difficult to move them later on and that is why it is so hard for you to think about now.
Not sure what year your DC is in, but will you be considering state 6th form for him - it is entirely reasonable to move them at that stage - plenty of moving goes on at that stage.
Good luck with Uni!!! afraid the minimum loan doesn't go very far - having said that some find the first weeks v expensive, tends to calm down after that

Thanks for reading and posting Flugelhorn, your comments much appreciated, I think it is quite hard to appreciate how difficult a decision it is to move schools unless you have been in that situation - which you obviously have.


We made the decision to stay in private, when business was doing well. If income had stayed consistent it would not have been a problem. Our self employed income went down in the recession because other bigger companies/clients went bust or got taken over and consolidated so we lost some of our bigger contracts and have struggled to replace them. So 2 years ago we lost contract for £20 K because the company went bankrupt.


OH went back into employment to get consistent income, but that is exactly what it is ...consistent...at least with your own business we had some very good years when we were able to save for the less good! But because he is at work, we cannot take on too much work (he is the expert).


I feel we need to see it through for me son. My daughter went to state 6th form after GCSE's and my son will too - has just started year 9 and is doing so well it would break my heart to move him, he is not a "streetwise" or very "outgoing" chap and much as I understand that children are more resilient than we give them credit for, I don't think I could do it.


Thank you For good wishes to daughter! - Am sure will be fine, am also sure its harder on us mums than on the child! Sounds like you have been through uni process with yours? Min loan does not even pay for the accommodation, but DD knows she needs to get a part time job so that she can have spending money for fun things too.

NoOneAround

Bad mistake... No One Around and I have just opened a big packet of biscuits....:(

heartbreak_star

Hey NOA!

Seems like you are doing well sorting everything out

Strange question - does your DS know that you are short of money? He could be feeling bad about himself because he goes to private school and knows it costs a fortune, but doesn't feel able to talk to you about it?

Just a thought keep up the good work and hope your back feels better soon.

HBS x

Puzzcat

NoOneAround wrote: »

Bad mistake... No One Around and I have just opened a big packet of biscuits....:(

Step away from the biscuits...... x

pelirocco

NoOneAround wrote: »

Total mortgage £210K (96K on interest only with no repayment vehicle)
Total debt unsecured loans/cc's/overdrafts £72,207
Total borrowed from Mum and Dad £19,100
Total borrowed from sister 20K (her house deposit) but I have shares which are her security when she is ready to buy her own place.

I havent read all the posts so apologies if I have missed this , but .

How are you proposing to pay your parents back ?

and B sell your shares now , while hopefully they are still worth what you owe your siste and give her back her money , you never know what is around the corner . Share prices may fall or god forbid your financial situation worsens and you face bankruptcy and you loose it all.

Your original SOA showed a huge deficit every month , has this been addressed?
I know I sound harsh , but its the only way to be , saving a few quid here and there is not going to help

NoOneAround

pelirocco wrote: »

I havent read all the posts so apologies if I have missed this , but .

How are you proposing to pay your parents back ?

and B sell your shares now , while hopefully they are still worth what you owe your siste and give her back her money , you never know what is around the corner . Share prices may fall or god forbid your financial situation worsens and you face bankruptcy and you loose it all.

Your original SOA showed a huge deficit every month , has this been addressed?
I know I sound harsh , but its the only way to be , saving a few quid here and there is not going to help

Thank you for taking the time to read and post pelirocco.....
The borrowing from parents should have been put in "" and my dad gets really cross about this....the 19K from them was gifted to us years and years ago in small chunks - he has done this for all of us siblings - . I have always kept it separate from our finances as do not feel it is mine, whereas he adamantly states otherwise. He is not in good health, mum cares for him. He asks me on a regular basis if I have used it and 2 years ago I did. About 8 years ago extended house (mortgage extension) so that when parents need care they will move in with us - will never in a million years allow for them to end up in a care home. Not sure if that explains situation without going into too much personal stuff. In My mind I have that money to put back - he is not going to take it back - I have allocated for their care, and if we need to get it out of house equity we will.


Re shares: I have discussed this in detail with sister in March, as I would needed to sell over two tax years (I think?) and I send her the statements. She does not want me to sell at the moment - her decision!


SOA: fixed income is 3k/month, self employment averages 1200 - we are approximately 300-400 short per month, this is usually made up from rental (0 for last 3 months) but I have some part time jobs which make 100-200/month, sometimes more (0 hrs contracts)- Over the summer this has balanced out as using less petrol (no school runs). Am currently looking for full time work, two job applications sent last week, more in the pipeline this week. Fingers crossed!


Remainder- just trying to save as much as I can wherever I can!

brizzledfw

Just popping in to say hi..you can have the biscuits I have just wolfed down a load of ice cream...the fact it was using up HM stuff isn't really the point I think!! :rotfl:

NoOneAround

Puzzcat wrote: »

Step away from the biscuits...... x

So sorry PC ,,, unfortunately did not have the willpower to step away, followed Brizzle's advice instead and now I have someone to blame
x